Why did the children choose death?
On SBS 'I want to know' broadcast on the 4th, 'Two Statements, One Truth - The Death of a Middle School Girl Oh Chang' was broadcast.
On May 12, in an apartment in Ochang-eup, Cheongju, two middle school girls lost their lives due to extreme choices. Mi-so, who had promised to have dinner with her family, went to the tallest apartment in town with her friend Ah-reum Han, and was found dead together.
The tragedy began in January. On January 16th, Ms. Miso spent time at her house. But, unexpectedly, Arum's stepfather came home and drank the alcohol he recommended. After that, Miss Mi, who went to Miss Arum's room to sleep, woke up to an unpleasant feeling she had encountered for the first time in her life. It is said that Miss Miso was sexually assaulted by her stepfather who entered Arum's room.
Miss Miso, who could not bear to tell her parents for fear of upset, told her friend and her friend's parents about this, and this was passed on to her parents. Miso's parents sued Arum's stepfather for sexually assaulting her stepdaughter's friend.
And during the police investigation, it was revealed that Arum's stepfather, Ha, had sexually abused her stepdaughter several times as well. However, Ha denied all the allegations. It is true that Miso and Arum were recommended to drink alcohol, but sexual offenses are unfair.
At that time, Miss Miso drank a sip of beer out of curiosity at Miss Reum's house, and her stepfather, who returned home shortly after, bought more alcohol and recommended the so-called bomb liquor. After that, Miso, who fell asleep on the floor next to the bed in her room, woke up to Eun-ha's crime. And Miss Miso immediately sent a message to her friend to let her know after the terrible thing happened. The embarrassment she must have been through was revealed in the message that Ms. Miso sent to another friend.
After that day, Miss Miso, who complained of extreme anxiety, was treated by a psychiatrist. Post-traumatic stress disorder and phobia NOS were the diagnostic findings.
Reum's friend, Jiyul's mother, claimed that Reum's stepfather might have made the children drink alcohol on purpose. Daughter Ji-yul went to Miss Ah-reum's house to have a pajama party, but that day, Ha also recommended alcohol to the children. He also advised Ji-yul and Mi-yang to drink without worrying, as Miss Mi-chan became unconscious after drinking.
In response, an expert said, "Adults who feed children knowing that they will drink alcohol and become disrespectful, this is intentional." "This is a typical method of people who practice sexual taming. And it cleverly fills the children's needs," he analyzed his behavior.
Also, on Miss Arum's SNS, the situation where Ha called his stepdaughter's friends home several times and drank alcohol remained the same. In response, Professor Lee Su-jeong speculated, "This is to stimulate children's curiosity and lead them into their own zone. So, when the time comes when children's judgment is paralyzed, it seems to have been done in this form of sexually infringing children."
At the time of the first damage statement, Miss Miso was worried about her friend, saying that Arum must have suffered the same thing. And a month after the incident, Miss Miso confessed to Miss Arum what had happened to her. Also, a few days later, Miss Arum revealed to Miss Mi that she had also been sexually assaulted by her stepfather.
So, what kind of person is Ha? The production crew met with his co-worker and asked about him. Then, Mr. Ha's co-worker said that he was a loving father who thought of his daughter first when there was something good. In addition, Mr. Ha asserts his innocence and also said that he has sexual dysfunction. Ha's lawyer also claimed, "I was treated for enlarged prostate, which is related to sexual dysfunction. It is difficult for me to have sex without drugs because of my physical condition."
And Ha's side said, "The reason I recommended the drink was that the children wanted to try it out of curiosity, so they had to drink it in front of an adult. There was no sexual assault, except for changing the clothes and wiping them with wet tissues.”He also claimed that he seemed to have misunderstood something about the stepdaughter's claim, and that he raised his daughter out of love.
However, in fact, Yang Arum also changed her words, saying it was a dream after she told Miss Mi that she had also been sexually assaulted. In addition, it was revealed that the will left by Miss Arum was not filled with resentment towards the stepfather, but only gratitude.
At this, Reum's friend said, "I've never seen a will, but only heard stories. I heard that Reum wrote to the judge saying, 'His father is not at fault.' said.
And the stepfather's side presented the aforementioned will of Miss Arum as a basis for claiming innocence. In response, the production team released the contents of the suicide note left by Miss Arum. The will reads, "Dear Judge, someone reported my father. The reason I reported it was that he sexually assaulted me. My father has never done anything like that to me, and my father is innocent. I am a fool for my daughter who cares for me like a parent. Innocent. Please make a judgment."
The production team met with people around her to find out why Arum made such an extreme choice. Reum's half-brother older sister said that before she passed away, she had a strange appearance. During the phone call, Arum said, 'I have no regrets in this life'. The eldest sister asked if something was going on, and Miss Arum said that she had been sexually assaulted. The older sister asked more about what she was talking about, but Miss Arum said she didn't want to talk about it, and ended up crying.
And a few hours later, I got a call from my older sister from an unfamiliar number. The story of Miss Arum's birth mother telling the story that she made an extreme choice. The eldest sister immediately rushed to the funeral home and asked about the sexual assault to Miss Arum's biological mother. However, Arum's biological mother asked, "Who said that she raped me?" Although the police investigation into Ha was already underway, his biological mother, Chun, remained unaware. And her mother claimed that the cause of her death was depression.
The production team met with a friend who Arum shared everything she had been through. Park Jun-young, a friend of Reum-yang, said, "I got hit by my dad after drinking. He told me that he did it with his eyes closed. That's December." And in the psychiatric consultation that Ms. Arum visited on her own in February, she made the same argument. Also, during counseling, Arum asked, "I think it's a dream," and "But do you smell even when you're dreaming?" Even in a dreamlike situation, the smell of pars was very vivid.
The expert explained, "Children often talk about dreams if they don't want to believe it. It's a strategy to solve their own cognitive dissonance, and it's a strategy used a lot when canceling statements."
And experts analyzed that the statement was more likely to be true, seeing that the stories told by Arum before she canceled the statement were consistent. In addition, he said that we should pay attention to the SNS messages exchanged between Miso and Arum. The expert said, "There is a possibility that Miss Ah-reum has a vague knowledge of what happened to Miss Mi that day, because she has also experienced harm. So, looking at the damage and pain that happened to his friend, he seems to want to know exactly what sexual contact with his stepfather happened to him.”
Also, Arum's friend said that there was a possibility that Arum had suffered damage before December, and that Ha drank alcohol until she got drunk every day. Neighbors who remember Ha also claimed that he often bought alcohol and set out bottles outside the house every day. However, Mr. Ha's co-worker had a different memory from his neighbors that he did not drink well because he was weak.
Also, those around her remembered that she liked her stepfather a lot. In response, the expert said, "The perpetrators do not always beat and continue raping. Sometimes they buy the things they need and offer warm words of consolation," said the expert. My father, who bought and hugged me, is in there with me. This is the process of taming.”
And the expert said about Miss Arum's suicide note, "There is a possibility that Miss Miso had a sense of debt. But it is contradictory that such a child writes a letter stating that my father is unfair." To him, he can be thought of as a really good father. Before he died, he might have left it as if he had given him a present.” In response, Professor Lee Su-jeong said, "Personally, I think there are many things to be suspicious of." "It is highly probable that it was used in a situation where there was no separation measure that may have been affected by the family, and the truthfulness of the question is questionable as it has a certain possibility of use in mind. content,” he said.
During the interview, it was revealed that the only place she could rely on was her stepfather. Her acquaintances and neighbors testified that she and her stepfather were always alone in the house. At this, Arum's half-brother older sister told a similar story.
His eldest sister said, "Father met Reum's mother at a bar or something like that. Because she suddenly became pregnant, her father took her to live outside. Then, when Reum was about four years old, she suddenly brought Reum home late at night. He went out to gamble." Afterwards, Arum, who lived with her biological father and grandmother, returned to her mother after her father's death. However, even after that, Miss Arum frequently left her and lost contact with her.
The older half-sister claimed that Arum had been thoroughly neglected and abused by her mother.He also said that the stepfather who raped Arum was bad, but the mother who neglected her without taking measures against him was also bad.
If so, couldn't there be a way to help Arum at the relevant agencies? During the investigation, it was revealed that there were many loopholes in the law. A local government official said that there is a limit to separating children as long as they have stated that there are no sexual offenses under the current law, and educational institutions said that active actions were impossible because educational institutions are cooperative institutions.
During the three-month investigation, Arum's stepfather, Ha, was denied an arrest warrant and an arrest warrant three times. The reason is that it is necessary to reinforce the testimony of the victims. The expert said, "I should have given hope and belief that the child could be protected and that the perpetrator would receive a proper punishment, but I couldn't."
In addition, in the current situation where all the victims are dead, it drew attention by revealing that if there is not enough evidence to prove Ha's charges, he may be found not guilty.
If the broadcast looked closely at the reason for the change in the 15-year-old child's statement, if the perpetrator and victim of kinship rape were separated, if there was stable and continuous counseling from a professional counselor, the perpetrator will be punished and the victim will be treated as an adult If a system was created that could protect them until they died, if the children saw hope rather than despair from the adults, they regretted that they would have chosen a tragic death. At the same time, he emphasized that there is a need for more attention and systemic improvement, saying that it is clear what adults should do to prevent the second Arum and Miso.
And lastly, he emphasized that life is too precious to give up a flowery life to stand in despair because of adults who do not show the way to children with similar concerns like the children who have gone to heaven.
(SBS Entertainment News Editor Kim Hyo-jung)