'Orbiting': the perverse behavior of the 'ex' that has inspired the song 'TQG' by Shakira and Karol G

• 'Ghosting' couple: why they don't call you or plan to (and it's not your fault)

Human relationships can be wonderful, but they can also be terrible.

Being able

of what perhaps was, but could not be more, should be a priority in our lives to continue building ourselves on firm foundations, if possible.

The history of humanity offers us stories of mourning, not only of couples, but also of other projects, which, by not being adequately resolved or integrated,

, specifically, and even of the planet, in general.

For example, how many wars have been declared for not properly managing that something does not belong to them?

When we separate from someone, grieving can be difficult, regardless of whether you leave or they leave you.

Sometimes

, giving signs that he's not completely gone.

This now, with the

, does not make it easier to close the wounds of love or pride.

It is so easy to go around, gossip or orbit, like a satellite, your social networks and your life, after all.

As if from a "'ola k ase'?"

In any case,

, with a red heart included, appearing in a publication on your feed, can turn on again that part of your heart that was frozen when he told you that he was leaving.

This is

.

A 'I don't forget you and I'm still here', which turns your life upside down once again, with a sigh included and which makes you rethink your life or your current relationship.

And everything, for a bloody like!

Terrifying mixture of 'ghosting' and 'breadcrumbing', 'orbiting' usually appears after a sudden withdrawal from whoever your relationship was, partner or that person you were starting to meet and it seemed that everything was going well until they stopped answering your calls or messages;

Come on, what did you do 'ghosting'?

And

not only interested in what you do, finding out through your networks, but also

.

Come on, marking a full-fledged 'breadcrumbing'.

If this happens,

if you do not want the "neither with you nor without you", the "one of lime and the other of sand" or "neither eat nor let eat", to be established in your life. life.

appear on the scene

and turn this drama that affects so many people in the world into a 'great song'.

Because, raise your hand who has not gossiped the networks of her 'ex' at some time in their lives, or at least in someone's.

Today it is so easy to know about 'fulanit@'.

The

, especially on those rainy days and blankets, lonely Sundays or after that argument with your current partner, which make you think that

(even if it is totally false).

And it is that we usually remember the beauty of old relationships and blur the crappy as a survival strategy to move forward.

But wake up!

If you have just argued with your partner, the emotion will not let you see the forest and

or a distraction that invites you to dream, but no.

"I had you pretty", Shakira sings in "TQG" (which means

", in case someone didn't know), but don't be fooled, he was pretty and you were pretty by his side;

when everything was going well, of course.

When we fall in love, what really happens is that when we are with who we love, what we feel is that

.

And it's great that it is so and that we are aware of it, because it tells us where the power and control of how we live relationships is.

Thinking that it is the other person who offers us that happiness or that power in its entirety, does not stop being more than the 'kryptonite' of love and relationships.

Even more so when that other person disappears.

It is a

in our brain.

Because

, even if we do need and want others, since one of the best qualities of the human being is to be relational and need to live in society to develop correctly and flourish.

Even.

to know and love each other, the great purpose of our lives.

But this is offered to us by a single being, ourselves, with the contribution of infinite people, because love is never spent or with anyone.

Of course,

must be present in every relationship, of whatever type, and this care has an impact on the other person.

Others have an impact and with greater intensity if that person is or has been important to us.

This impact of the bond is important in our emotional state, but not decisive.

It's good

and know how to retire or retire those who don't add up.

The reflection of our loves and heartbreaks reveals our desires and shortcomings, but also our strengths.

says more about us than who we attack.

And it's not always a bad thing, because attacking is necessary and positive for many things.

Wanting to

is not only lawful, but necessary to be able to rebuild ourselves again.

There are people who do it in private, writing a letter that they will never send to the addressee or venting by talking to someone close (what a beautiful word,

that does not allow them to breathe or live).

Some people look to us, psychology and relationship professionals, to be able

.

and others, with the possibility of doing it on a large scale,

Of course, all these ways of resolving a duel are not only valid but also compatible.

Are these divas still in love with their 'ex'?

It doesn't have to.

Although

and the duels don't end overnight.

I am convinced that they have specialized support or, at least, they should.

Every person deserves to have it, and if he doesn't, it's because he can't afford it financially.

Pearls like

seem to indicate that anger dominates them, that the duel is not closed.

If you don't compete for men (or women), don't waste time on them, or on their new relationships.

But people are sometimes

And you can talk about something that we have not yet put into practice.

(fire, wind, water/ice and earth) appear

, absolutely symbolic,

.

This, not being linear, can take us from one phase to another for a long time, until the waters calm down.

But 'orbiting' and other toxic or violent behaviors, which is what they really are, prevent this from happening or make it more difficult to overcome the duel.

The truth is that the artists do not stitch without a thread and close the video about to leave the game, to go through that door of the 'Truman Show' that takes them away

, but that, apparently, was a fiction.

A fiction that deserves to be told and televised to help many more.

Does all this mean that they have not overcome it?

Could be.

Who has not been 'despechao' at some time?

Be that as it may, they have left us a jewel in the form of a song (well, Shakira has four at the moment) to raise awareness, inspire and encourage.

And, all this, beyond ethical judgments, because art is visceral.

A melodic mindfulsex® to connect and close wounds.

But that art helps to

to embrace it and make it a strength.

Because

from our ashes.

Ana Sierra

is a psychosexologist.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

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