Small balance sheet of our confined loves -

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  • This Sunday is Valentine's Day, and it has been nearly a year since France has suffered the full brunt of the coronavirus.

  • Love has certainly never been confined, but it has also experienced adaptations because of the health and social situation of the country.

  • But for Florence Escarage, an expert in love coaching, the coronavirus has not necessarily been a bad thing for the best of feelings.

This Sunday is Valentine's Day, and we are about a month away from celebrating the anniversary of the first confinement in France.

If nothing is stronger than love, how has it resisted the coronavirus, the barrier gestures and other social distancing that have marked the lives of transfixed lovers for months?

Florence Escarage, specialist in questions on the evolution of love and president of

Love Intelligence

, a love coaching site, sees the coronavirus as an opportunity for couples to forget about external injunctions.

What has the coronavirus changed in the lives of couples?

For the past ten years, couples have suffered enormously due to overexertion for personal development, with a frenzy and an overbid of activities to do.

You absolutely had to do something to be happy, to be superactive.

The coronavirus has significantly reduced requests from friends, through outings - cultural, friendly, family -, and this has had a positive impact for couples.

They refocused on themselves, had a space to talk and spend time, without paratisage or outside temptation.

The couples lacked quality time together, the Covid-19 offered them.

Somewhere, the coronavirus and its consequences - confinement, curfews, closure of cultural venues - have forced couples to focus only on themselves and on discussions.

People had no other choice but to communicate, talk about their emotions, their projects, and found themselves.

We could argue that the routine is now harder to fight ...

Yes, but the routine is not necessarily a bad thing for the couple.

To think that routine is fatal to a relationship is to join the injunction that you absolutely have to do things to be happy.

The first thing that kills the couple is not routine, it is the lack of emotional connection and the lack of sincere exchanges.

What we lose when we activate too much.

We were before the coronavirus in a period when people were very ambitious in love: we had to stay alive and vibrant, stay in love by increasing the activities.

What was seen as ambition was actually frantic pressure, and many couples got lost in it.

By wanting to be everywhere, one is no longer there for the other.

The coronavirus has not altered this ambition, people want to stay very much in love, but it has put fundamental physiological needs back at the center: to be loved, listened to, understood.

What about singles?

Are they not the big losers in this story?

They are not necessarily the losers from Covid-19.

Yes, the great misfortune of this disease, in addition to the health and economic consequences, is emotional isolation.

But to counter this loneliness, singles have been able to adapt and have massively invested in networks and dating sites.

We observed many couples formed during this period, especially via dating sites.

Singles, like people in a relationship, refocus their physiological needs.

There is less of this “consumption” logic that we could find in the behavior of dating apps: we look less for adventures and more for relationships, for people to talk to.

We see, despite the cold and the lack of cultural outings, people ready to put on their boots and take their coats to meet in real life and exchange.

And with the lack of activities to do, there is only one solution, even during the first dates: talk, talk, talk.

Suddenly, the meetings - as a couple or as a date - are more intimate and personal, more qualitative than in “normal” times.

Isn't that a somewhat idealistic balance sheet?

Of course there are people who suffer from this loneliness, who have not been able to counter it.

Or couples who could not adapt and saw that without external solicitations, their routine did not hold or was no longer bearable.

As with all sectors of society, the coronavirus has left behind.

But unlike the rest, the epidemic has been quite a good thing for relationships and love.

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  • epidemic

  • Covid 19

  • Couple

  • Coronavirus

  • Society

  • Love