An epidemic reflects the different looks of love

Some are getting closer, some are splitting up, and an epidemic becomes a "mirror" that reflects the different looks of love.

For a while, topics such as "when love meets the epidemic", "how do couples fall in love during the epidemic", "how difficult are the couples during the epidemic", and so on, all of them became popular on Weibo, with millions of views.

"The epidemic's love without disregard" "The epidemic disappeared, marry you home" "My weakness is you, armor is also you" became a true portrayal of "quarantine virus but not isolation love". However, some people faced the test and broke their feelings. They immediately adopted "immediate divorce" as the first option after the epidemic, and even laughed at "marriage in the epidemic = full exposure + flames of fire + hysteria + loneliness".

"A loved one still loves, and a loveless person is free." Such a blessing has suddenly become the personality label of love in the era of the new crown pneumonia epidemic.

Cloud love

The epidemic blocked many young people's time and space, but could not stop their inner emotional needs. The two-dimensional meeting methods such as "cloud blind date", "cloud love" and "cloud confession" became a trend in this special period.

Relevant data shows that during the Spring Festival, Yingke ’s online dating and dating app "Dating" users skyrocketed by 300%, and another dating software called "Yi Dui" increased 1.5 times in downloads and increased activity by 50%. .

After 1995, Gansu girl Cai Yitong encountered an epidemic during her return to her hometown. After being "closed" for many days at home, she was so anxious that she decided to download a dating app to pass the time.

As a typical post-95s generation, Cai Yitong is no stranger to all kinds of social software, and she also has many fans in a game association. But really dating online is still the first time. In the past, I just claimed that "the years of love and love, the scum men lick dogs countless", and also "only want to experience the sweetness of love, do not want to bear the responsibility of love" as his statement of release.

It wasn't until "true love fell from the sky" that Cai Yitong faced her own view of love. A failed love in college made Cai Yitong humble, and once chose to compliment unfamiliar netizens as a "antidote" to regaining confidence.

However, during the epidemic, a netizen named Fan Wenchao made her feel emotional.

Online dating is risky. According to Cai Yitong, "It's like opening a blind box. We weren't attracted to photos or other showy things at first."

However, in the face of the "perfect person" created by the other party, Cai Yitong still played a "trick", and she found the other party's WeChat through various channels. Since then, the co-sponsored talks have laid a solid foundation for the exchange of the two.

From daily life to hobbies, and to digging into each other's dark history, Cai Yitong found that Fan Wenchao was simply a "clear stream" among his many netizens.

A few days later, Valentine's Day, a "520" red envelope and a "520-character love letter that writes itself into the future life plan" again impressed Cai Yitong.

At that time, she returned the red envelope, and in her heart, the seeds of love sprouted quietly. They made an appointment. After the epidemic, they would watch the sunrise together and go to the river to fly a kite ...

According to statistics from Zhenai.com, the number of active App users reached 10 million from New Year's Eve to the seventh day of the new year, an increase of 39.3% over the same period in 2019. Among them, the number of people participating in video chat increased by 37.8% over the same period, and even wheat exceeded 180,000 hours, and even the most common greeting operation also increased by 197.1% year-on-year. The post-90s and post-95s who participated in Zhenai.com's video blind date have significantly improved compared to 2019, and post-95s have increased by 95%.

Emotion expert Zhang Shasha of Zhenai.com analyzes the reason why this online marriage and social networking is so hot is that the Spring Festival itself is a peak period for blind dates. The urging of relatives and friends has stimulated social needs, but due to the special circumstances at this stage, parents cannot arrange offline Blind dates, and young people living at home have strong social needs. When the two collide, young people will choose the "cloud" that they trust and accept more to socialize. To a certain extent, technology has helped the flames, and through new methods such as accurate matching and Lianmai video, it has opened another door for young people to make friends.

On February 15, in Wuhan, two citizens sat in an electric car driving through the empty city in the snow.

accompany

Under the epidemic, each individual will experience feelings of helplessness and loneliness. At this time, the companionship and care of lovers and partners is particularly important.

After 1995, Li Jing and Mao Jiajia were both from Shanxi Jinzhong and lived in neighbouring neighborhoods, separated by a distance of less than 10 minutes. But most of the year, they work outside the school and study at school, and have little chance to get along well. Therefore, before the Spring Festival this year, before returning to their hometown, the two settled down to go shopping, watch movies, eat hot pot ...

Unexpectedly, a confirmed case appeared in the district where Li Jing lived. At first, a little couple was still figuring out how to break through the "isolation line", but in the end, reason overcame emotions, and the two agreed to cancel the meeting.

"Opening up the distance temporarily becomes a kind of guardianship and responsibility." Li Jing said that when he stayed at home, he and Mao Jiajia had more video chats, comforted and encouraged each other, and often told stories of childhood, and Imagine the little luck after the epidemic.

What moved Li Jing even more was that he accidentally mentioned that he wanted to eat Mao Jiajia's meal. Mao Jiajia, who was not "cold" when he started cooking, also studied cooking with his family and took photos of his own dishes. Willing to make "lifetime meals" for him.

During the epidemic, because of companionship, there were more and more "shows of affection", and at the same time, there were data indicating that some people were suffering because of the day and night, and even chose to break up and divorce.

In the past, I was able to go to work, go shopping, and meet colleagues and friends. However, the space and time quickly narrowed during the epidemic, and the beauty of the lack of distance caused the original delicate balance between couples and couples to be broken, and the shortcomings of each other's eyes were more easily magnified. . There are conflicts caused by different living habits such as whether the flush cover does not cover the toilet, whether socks and clothes can be washed together; there are conflicts in values ​​because the trail news should not be forwarded, the open space can be exercised, and the mask can be removed.

A husband teased "the day of his wife", the first half of which was "get up, scold me, eat, scold me, scold children, clean up", and the second half was "scold me, eat, counseling homework, scolding children, scolding me by the way , Eat, sleep! "

The abandoned wife did not want to be outdone, and exposed the "husband's day": "I can't get up, don't cook, don't wash dishes, don't clean, don't care for the baby, don't tutor the homework, play the game, watch the vibrato after finishing the game, and finish watching Douyin watched Weibo, watched Weibo, played games, and slept. "

In the question and answer community "Zhuhu", the question "Why many couples broke up during the epidemic", in just a few days, received more than 10 million views, more than 2,000 netizens answered, and many people wrote down their own experiences. Even lawyers have revealed that recently divorce counseling has trended upwards.

Qin Shan, a 23-year-old boy from Nanjing, "was not honored to be a member." Under the question of "why broke up", he reviewed the bits and pieces from falling in love with his girlfriend Jiang Liu.

During the interview, Qin Shan told reporters that his girlfriend Jiang Liu was studying in Beijing and was 4 years younger than him. After three months of acquaintance and acquaintance, they broke through a distance of 900 kilometers and became lovers.

There are not many opportunities to meet, and a short time together allows Qin Shan and Jiang Liu to cherish each other's company and look forward to the next meeting. But the epidemic stopped this sweet.

In the days when he couldn't meet, Qin Shan suddenly found that he and Jiang Liu gradually moved from nothing to nothing to nothing. Near graduation, he reads books and writes dissertations every day. After the freshman's Jiangliu online class, he chose to spend time in drama. Repeated and monotonous life, the content of communication gradually dried up, so that the frequency of chat between the two gradually reduced.

Jiang Liu gradually felt that Qin Shan was not gentle and patient with her in the past, and Qin Shan also thought that Jiang Liu was unreasonable. "She asked me to sing. I said it would not be a bad attitude." A little trivial matter became Mars, letting the reality of differences between North and South, distance, etc. burn out the potential of Ebara.

"You want an apple, but he gave you a car pear." After being magnified by the epidemic, Qin Shan wrote this mood: "I once thought that the epidemic was the reason for the breakup. In fact, It's not. The reason for breaking up is every bit of life. The epidemic is just a magnifying glass. "

On February 29, in Wuhan, a young man and woman drove past a delivery electric car. China Youth Daily · China Youth Daily reporter Zhao Di / photo

catalytic

The epidemic broke the original habits and balance, allowing the relationship between sex and love to be presented more realistically. Accordingly, people have a clearer thinking about love.

During the interview, someone told reporters that during the isolation period, because of various trivial matters, he kept arguing with his wife and even made an appointment for divorce. However, due to the special period, the local Civil Affairs Bureau only handled 8 pairs of divorces a day. During the line of divorce, he and his wife chose to reconcile, and "blessed by misfortune", realizing why the marriage can be maintained-whether both parties are willing to sacrifice.

In this regard, the post-90s couples Zhang Lei and Li Ting felt more strongly. Due to an accident, Li Ting, who was isolated at home, had an accidental abortion and was admitted to the hospital. In the hospital, they can only rely on each other's experience, and they have become the "key" for the young couple who have been married for more than two years to reflect on marriage and love.

Zhang Lei and Li Ting met in high school, fell in love after graduating from college in 2015, and entered the marriage hall on National Day 2018. The long-term understanding made the two trust each other, so that after marriage, they chose to separate the two places and develop their careers in the two cities of Gansu and Ningxia.

It is 800 kilometers apart and can only meet at most once a month. It also takes 22 hours on the shuttle. Although Zhang Lei and Li Ting have been awkward from time to time because of "too far away" and "too little companionship", they have encountered difficulties. They still choose to "carry them by themselves" in order to reduce the interruption of the other's work and life.

Because of this, during the Spring Festival, Li Ting, who returned from Ningxia to Gansu to celebrate the New Year, did not tell Zhang Lei, who was already employed, at the beginning. Until the consequences were irreversible, Zhang Lei hurried home and rushed her to the hospital.

The 7 days of hospitalization became the longest time since the young couple got married. "I didn't take good care of my daughter-in-law." Looking at his wife's pale face, Zhang Lei had mixed feelings. Not only worry about the risk of infection in the hospital, but also feel guilty for his care and dereliction of duty, and feel sad for his wife's independence and sense. Instead, Li Ting from time to time talked about their future life vision and persuaded Zhang Lei to put down the burden.

"Experiencing pain and panic together, but also looking forward to hope." Zhang Lei said that it was these that allowed him to grow rapidly and start thinking about the responsibility that he should shoulder. He decided to do his best to maintain the marriage and grow old with Li Ting.

"Special emergencies will make us cherish the people around us more." Zhang Shasha believes that the epidemic ’s effect on emotions is generally positive, and many people may rethink and organize his emotional life, such as those who plan to divorce. complex. There are also single people who are more eager to accompany.

Zhang Xiaorong, vice president of the Gansu Provincial Psychological Counselors Association, also observed that during this period, young people faced the emotional style of "midwinter and spring." She believes that the outbreak is a "catalyst" for these changes. On the one hand, let us be afraid of the impermanence of life, create the desire for companionship and support, and take the initiative of love seriously. On the other hand, it will bring more pressure and damage the relationship.

"But the epidemic will not be the main cause of emotional fission." Zhang Xiaorong emphasized that perfect love still consists of three basic ingredients: passion, intimacy and commitment. Facing an epidemic that is only a test, everyone who wants to maintain a healthy emotional relationship must learn to be close to each other, support, understand and tolerate.

(At the request of interviewees, except for Shasha Zhang and Xiaorong Zhang, they are all pseudonyms.)

China Youth Daily · China Youth Daily trainee reporter Wang Hao Shi Jia Source: China Youth Daily