The term "upward socializing" is very popular, and teaching college students to "upward socializing" is becoming a tool for many bloggers to "attract fans".
Is "upward socializing" really an effective way to break through circles, expand contacts, and break information barriers?
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That year, Yang Kaikai was in his freshman year and was arranged to be an audience member at a certain selection meeting.
During the intermission, she chatted with the girl next to her and found out that she was a junior in the same college, so she took the initiative to add her as a WeChat friend.
Later she learned that this senior was a national scholarship winner and had very rich scientific research experience.
In his sophomore year, Yang Kaikai participated in the College Student Innovation and Entrepreneurship Competition and consulted her. The senior sister generously shared her experience and sent her the project application form for the previous competition to help Yang Kaikai get the project approved.
Yang Kaikai defined this experience as "an 'upward socialization' by chance."
At the critical moment of postgraduate study in the second semester of her junior year, Meng Jin realized that there were two ways to support postgraduate study: supporting education and postgraduate study through administration.
She hurriedly submitted her resume, but due to lack of relevant experience, she didn't get a spot.
Meng Jin had some regrets, regretting that she had not "socialized upward" earlier, otherwise she would have been able to obtain this information earlier and make preparations earlier.
Among the many posts about experiences in studying and finding a job, the term "socializing upwards" is very popular. Teaching college students to "socialize upwards" has even become a must-have tool for many bloggers to "attract fans".
In their description, "upward socializing" is an effective means to break through circles, expand connections, and break information barriers, which can help college students grow better.
Is it to encourage self-growth or to emphasize the importance of others like "upward socialization"? For college students, are the two contradictory and how to deal with them?
Improving personal abilities is the prerequisite, and "socializing upward" is the icing on the cake.
As the first college student in his family, Wenzhu came to Beijing for the first time on the day of registration for his freshman year.
One month into the school year, the Youth League Committee, the Student Union, the Community Association... these strange things quickly entered his life, and he didn't know how to choose.
At that time, "socializing upward" had not yet become a hot word, and Wenzhu had no awareness of obtaining information through social interaction. Almost all of his decisions were based on intuition.
When Wenzhu made a career plan and hoped to make some achievements in the field of social work, he discovered that he had chosen the wrong track from the beginning.
Wenzhu hesitated for a long time and sent the WeChat message that took him half an hour to edit to his senior sister, asking her if she had any suggestions.
His senior sister had a lot of experience as a social worker and was a popular person in the college. Wenzhu was worried that he would annoy her if he was too purposeful. Unexpectedly, his senior sister responded to the message quickly and made a voice call to guide him.
Wenzhu learned a lot of previously unknown information. He sighed: "If I had known this when I was a freshman, maybe everything would be different."
The lesson from the failure of the postgraduate entrance examination made Meng Jin realize the importance of "socializing upwards". Her personal experience at work confirmed her view, "In fact, everyone has similar work abilities. If you don't take the initiative to 'socialize upwards' , it is difficult for leaders to see you, and it will be difficult for you to get promotion or other opportunities. The same is true in school, whether it is seniors, counselors or teachers, they are also willing to give opportunities and resources to familiar classmates. If you don’t 'Socialize up', how do they know you".
Meng Jin told about an alumni gathering he experienced, where a senior who had worked at the grassroots level for many years talked about his work experience.
Meng Jin was originally a little resistant to this kind of dinner, but she was about to go to the grassroots for training, so she listened carefully, "One meal opened my mind. If I can have a good relationship with him, it will definitely be great for my future work." helpful".
Chen Wu, associate professor at the Institute of Developmental and Educational Psychology of Wuhan University, is very sympathetic to the experiences of Wen Zhu and Meng Jin. He said that their experiences are not isolated cases, but are the structural forces of society behind them.
"On the one hand, society is fiercely competitive, fast-paced, and stressful. We are severely consumed, and at the same time, we are also prone to internal friction. We urgently need to replenish energy through 'upward socialization'; on the other hand, we have many choices, and the real There are very few opportunities. This uncertainty will force us to be more active and proactive, to 'socialize upward', and to strive for opportunities. After all, opportunities are for those who are prepared, and they also depend on whether we are proactive. "
But it needs to be emphasized that this does not mean that "socializing upward" means relying entirely on others.
"Improvement of personal abilities is the prerequisite, and 'socializing up' is more often the 'icing on the cake' rather than 'helping in times of need.' Only when your own abilities in all aspects are OK, coupled with socializing, can you achieve the best results. "Chen Wu said.
“Social upwards” should not be limited to resource acquisition
The word "upward" seems to divide people into three, six or nine grades, which makes "upward socializing" unconsciously tainted with a layer of utilitarianism.
In some posts, "socializing upward" is indeed to obtain resources such as promotion opportunities, proprietary materials, and non-public information from others.
However, does “upward socialization” only stop there?
The first time Yang Kaikai came into contact with the term "upward socialization" was in a book about social interaction.
In her memory, the core concept of that book is that "any 'upward socializing' is an exchange of interests" and it teaches readers to "get in touch with more powerful people and let yourself get some resources."
Yang Kaikai did not adapt to this view of regarding interests as the core of social interaction and emphasizing the crossing of social circles and classes, and felt that this definition was too narrow.
She further believes that "any social interaction that can provide us with positive value is 'upward social interaction'".
Meng Jin believes that "upward socializing" does have a certain degree of utility and purpose. It is purposeful socializing with people who are more "superior" than you.
Lin Feng is a first-year Ph.D. student at a university in Shanghai. He has been operating his own Xiaohongshu account since his first year of graduate school to share learning and scientific research experiences.
He doesn't like the word "upward socializing", but in order to run self-media, he still puts the "upward socializing" tag when posting Xiaohongshu notes (tag, a classification method that makes it easier for users to search for your Notes - reporter's note).
In Lin Feng's view, "Everyone is equal. Any social interaction is essentially a win-win process. There is no such thing as 'upward'."
Chen Wu expressed his understanding of these debates about "upward socialization". He prefers to view "upward socialization" from a macro perspective rather than binding it to resource acquisition in a narrow sense.
In Chen Wu's view, if we must give a definition to "upward socialization", it is to "enhance enthusiasm and initiative, promote one's own social development, and then build lasting growth resources (psychological resources and social resources, etc.), and obtain the ability for self-growth." power".
This kind of growth is not only the acquisition of resources, but also lies in the change of one's own mentality, the adjustment of state, the improvement of abilities, the improvement of values, and many other aspects.
Is it difficult for people to "socialize upward"? The key point is not personality
Perhaps most people will admit that "socializing upwards" is useful, but not everyone will take the initiative to "socialize upwards."
On social media, one view we often see is: People I (introverts - reporter's note) cannot do "social upwards".
Lin Feng has never taken the MBTI test (an assessment method in personality psychology that divides people into 16 personality types - reporter's note), but he considers himself an I person because he does not like to socialize, and even sometimes He is afraid of social interaction, but he feels that this does not affect his ability to "socialize upward".
A trip to Beihai during his senior year was a turning point for Lin Feng to "socialize upwards".
When he first arrived in Beihai, Guangxi, Lin Feng was interested in everything, including ATVs, paragliding, surfing... He wanted to try them all, but was embarrassed to say them out.
Lin Feng was filled with envy as he watched his friends in the same industry communicate with their bosses very naturally and successfully try their favorite projects.
One time when they went to a restaurant for dinner, their friend fell in love with the green dragon lobster in the restaurant and offered to trade one of his paintings with the boss.
This relaxed gesture made Lin Feng quite emotional.
A friend told him, "You must put your own happiness first."
So Lin Feng started trying to communicate with the bosses and successfully drove a modified ATV.
Mental adjustment is a long-term process, and Lin Feng's social life has not been smooth sailing.
To this day, he still gets depressed when he is rejected, but he becomes more and more calm, "'Social upward' is a process of asking, and it is normal to be rejected. Emotions, on the one hand, mean how much you think about yourself or this matter. It’s too heavy. As long as you realize that it won’t matter if you are rejected, you will feel a lot better. On the other hand, it is also a process of getting used to it. If you get used to being frustrated, you will adapt and you can continue next time.”
Meng Jin, like Lin Feng, believes that social interaction is essentially a skill that can be improved through exercise.
But she felt that not everyone could master it, at least not herself.
"Good social interaction should be about recharging, but for me it is a completely power-consuming process. Although I have become more comfortable with social interaction after more than a year of training, I am still not used to it and don't like it. I thought about it. Live your life well.”
Chen Wu understands Meng Jin’s thoughts, but he encourages everyone to look at themselves with a growth mindset instead of simply defining themselves as people who are not good at “socializing upwards”.
"If you stay in your comfort zone for a long time, your growth will be smaller. Change starts with feeling that you can change. Trying to 'socialize upward' may bring some pain, but if you take your time, don't move too fast all at once. , you can find the rhythm that suits you.”
(At the request of the interviewees, Yang Kaikai, Meng Jin, Lin Feng, and Wenzhu are pseudonyms)
Intern Deng Jiaxin China Youth Daily·China Youth Daily reporter Jiang Xiaobin Source: China Youth Daily