• Bertín Osborne in a shirt of eleven yards: "I have always been anti-system"

Bertín Osborne and Pablo Motos got together at El Hormiguero and... and as Mayra Gómez Kemp said, "up to this point I can read". Last night's El Hormiguero is a must-see because, even with the predictable, Bertín Osborne never ceases to surprise. Some of El Hormiguero's audience records have been in his hands; whenever Bertín Osborne has gone, he has left a string of headlines; Whenever he has gone, the bread goes up. Last night the bread went up, but not because of what he said, but precisely because of what he didn't say. Bertín Osborne only needs to be Bertín Osborne.

There was a lot of expectation, especially from the gossip press, for Bertín Osborne's visit to El Hormiguero. Since the news of his new fatherhood with Gabriela Guillén broke this summer, the singer and businessman had entered the phone on some other program, had published comments showing his indignation with the treatment of the press and had let his closest ones be his messengers. Last night, Bertín Osborne sat down for the first time after the tsunami on a television set. That there was expectation was an understatement.

However, Bertín Osborne did what was predictable: not half a word from his fatherhood, not half a word from the media, not half a word from anything that was expected. Bertín Osborne came to El Hormiguero more Bertín Osborne than ever, with more Andalusian accent than ever, with more sarcasm than ever, with more fanfare than ever, more Bertín than ever. Pablo Motos said it at one point in the interview when the presenter released the singer's new ranchera album: "I haven't seen a guy more chaste than you." The perfect finish for last night's Bertín Osborne.

He entered El Hormiguero, hugged Pablo Motos, stayed in the middle of the set and, as if he were the great maestro Bertín, delighted the audience with a veronica, without a bull of course. Because last night Bertín Osborne wasn't going to face any bull, because he was the bull. He knew perfectly well where he was going, who he was going with, and that he was the one who was going to have the upper hand. So he was nicer than usual, more skull than usual. Like two friends at the bar counter. Because Bertín Osborne had to show his nicest side, his most Bertín side, his most Bertín side, his more side, as the Old Spices cologne ad says, more uncle, uncle.

Bertín Osborne, more Bertín than ever

There was a moment at the beginning of the interview when it seemed that Bertín Osborne was indeed going to talk about everything, but it was all a bait for us to bite. In fact, after more than half of the interview and after Bertín Osborne talked about his weekend of bohemia and illusion at Frank Sinatra, Pablo Motos made a comment about relationships with women that seemed to scratch something. A glance from Bertín Osborne was more than enough to change the third. Not out there. It became clear that the agreement was not to mention half a word about the tsunami and it was fulfilled.

Bertín Osborne was going to present his new Christmas carol, his new album and here peace and then glory. He was already in charge of filling in what was missing. And so he began, showing a photo from more than 40 years ago of him and Pablo Motos on the radio and, despite the fact that he had a cold, singing live before starting the interview the Christmas carol that he has created with his great friend Martín Pareja Obregón. Guitar, Christmas carol, "the baby Jesus was born in Triana", and Bertín giving it his all. Lord, Sir, Sir... Bertín, Bertín, Bertín.

How nice Bertín is when he wants and where he wants! So nice that aware that presenting a Christmas carol and a ranchera album fills five minutes of the program, he turned the interview in El Hormiguero into a collection of anecdotes, many of them already told, where the meaning of cuñadismo -that's why we are at Christmas- appeared like a Virgin of the Forsaken.

"I'm going to give you some news at 22:12 p.m.: ladies and gentlemen, Bertín Osborne has his own cologne," Pablo Motos suddenly blurted out after making fun of the Puerto Rican singer who has stolen a song from Bertín Osborne – "I was going to sue him, but now watching the video, he hasn't sold more than four albums, So, let him sing it." Yes, Bertín Osborne who already has "Bertín's oil, Bertín's sauce, Bertín's jam" -ah no, not jam anymore-, now also has Bertín's colony. The only thing missing, and it's not my thing but Pablo Motos's, is "Bertín's eggs", Bertín's "fat" eggs, to be more specific.

"I don't wear perfume and one day Antonio Banderas said to me, 'Don't you have perfume?' And I say, 'No, because I never use it.' And some perfumers came and asked me if I wanted a perfume and I told them that I would eat cologne, cologne that smelled of the countryside, of rosemary and that it should be called silence." The name comes to mind, but it doesn't either. He chose that name because of the silence of the field or, at least, that's what he said to Pablo Motos when he tried to pull the string, but there was no thread to pull.

Bertín Osborne's "fat" eggs

"They did a lot of samples for me. They spent a month sending me colognes. I have one thing between cologne and perfume, fragrance. Number one in sales in two weeks," the singer snapped. "But why do you want so much money?" snapped Pablo Motos. Obviously, there was no answer, although it is more than obvious: to have it, period. And then Pablo Motos showed him how the model Olivia Wilde once told him that he had to throw on the cologne. And then Bertín came out, the uncle, uncle of Old Spices: "And why don't you call me when people like that come." Laughter, Bertín...

"You don't think the market is asking for Bertín's eggs," Pablo Motos told him at the time. "We're working on it." Apparently, Bertín Osborne is going to have his own eggs soon, too. The slogan already has it, as Pablo Motos told him last night: "Those who expire later". "They're like ostriches." That's it. Bertín more Bertín than ever. Great contribution for Christmas dinners and lunches these weeks.

With the eggs already on the table and about to snow, we had to continue with the interview, but without going into what we could not enter. So Pablo Motos rummaged through his cards and invited the businessman to tell the jokes he plays on his friend Ignacio. Poor Ignatius. Without being present, we all empathize with him. Bertín Osborne almost poisoned Ignacio, Bertín Osborne almost shot him. "He loves to be teased." Ignacio has suffered in his own flesh on several occasions the funniest Bertín Osborne.

Once he put some pills in his food, with such bad luck, to say the least, that he was allergic to its composition and they ended up in the hospital. Once, when he was hunting, because "I'm a hunter," Ignacio would shit. Bertín Osborne sent him to a cliff to evacuate and when he saw Ignacio's "white ass", Bertín shot the cliff. Obviously, he knew where he was aiming and Ignacio came out unscathed, although he fell on his own shit from fright. Hala, another anecdote for Christmas Eve dinner!

Frank Sinatra, Jack Daniel's and Bertín

And there was the last one, the glorious one, the weekend at Frank Sinatra's house, which he already told on his program My House is Yours, but which he recounted last night. It turns out that Bertín Osborne released an album with Sinatra's brother-in-law, Wes Farrell, and that's how he met him. That night, Sinatra invited him to spend a weekend at his house and Bertín didn't hesitate: "That has to be when you were kids..." Because, of course, Sinatra "was also very fond of women."

"I said yes thinking there would be a lot of girls, but when I arrived there wasn't one, there were six or seven guys and Jack Daniel's as punishment. It was beautiful, it was a very interesting weekend in which we talked about politics, religion, women...", said the singer. Jack Daniel's, Frank Sinatra and Bertin Osborne, more than one would have paid to be there that weekend.

Immediately afterwards, Pablo Motos asked him if Frank Sinatra gave him any advice. "I was 30 or so and he asked me if I was going to sing until I was 50. I told him that I didn't know and he told me that if I passed the age of 50 I should do as he did, that I should record two albums but that I should release one and save another to release when I was 60 years old I would release the album that I had recorded with the voice of 50 years," he said. "I don't know if you remember, but Frank Sinatra died at the age of 82 and two years before that he put out a record and everyone was amazed at how he sang. And of course, I was like, 'He recorded it 30 years ago.'"

There was the last anecdote, that of Rocío Jurado, the woman who threw an orange at Bertín Osborne. Saint. They were close friends, so much so that the last song Rocío Jurado sang in public was with Bertín, but Bertín couldn't stand the artist's concerts of more than two hours. So, being in one to which he was invited by the one from Chipiona, after two hours of concert Bertín Osborne wanted to make silence in the forum and Rocío Jurado caught him. He picked up an orange that was meant to be a prop and threw it at the singer. Oh, Rocío, the great Rocío! How can we not adore her? We've all wanted to be Rocío Jurado at some point.

  • Bertín Osborne
  • Pablo Motos
  • The Anthill
  • Antenna 3