On August 8th, "'Cai' Hui Tanabata · "Yuan's Come to Zhuji" Young Talent Tanabata Friendship Activity was held in Dongbaihu Town, Zhuji City, Zhejiang Province, "Ten Miles of Red Makeup", "Journey of Love", "Painted Paper Umbrella", "Begging for Blessing"... A game activity with traditional cultural charm allows the single young talents present to immerse themselves in the rich and colorful folk culture and make friends. Photo by Xinhua News Agency reporter Xu Yu

Would you like to meet new people through campus networking?

A "blind date"
on a college campus

He studied at a university in Beijing and has participated in the planning and preparation of campus networking activities for many times. This year marks the 13th year of his school's bonding event. From the initial ordinary social bureau to today's school brand, the frequency of holding has increased, the coverage has become wider, and it is also welcomed by more and more students, and even has to rely on "grabbing" to get admission places.

Wang Qing, a post-00s girl, also participated in organizing campus friendship as a preparer, and in the event she participated in, the number of applicants was nearly 500,<>, and about <> people were successfully matched in the end.

Contemporary college students have a variety of ways to make friends, they will meet because of their coursework, get together because of common interests, and they will also take the initiative to participate in campus friendships. They are very tolerant of love, enjoying the natural development and not afraid to take the initiative to express it.

It's also good to participate in campus networking and make friends

In February last year, Zhang Meng, a major in Internet and new media, saw the news of the school's "Weekly CP" activity on the Internet and immediately signed up. This is not the first time she has signed up, but she didn't match last time, and this time she finally had the opportunity to participate.

Zhang Meng recalled that when registering for the event, not only did you need to fill in basic information such as name, gender, and major, but also set up some open-ended questions, such as "what kind of love are you looking forward to" and "summarize yourself in one sentence". Zhang Meng said that the staff matched according to the content of the answers, and the boys who finally connected met 80% of their expectations.

Networking takes place primarily online. After the event began, the "matchmaker" pulled a group for Zhang Meng and the matching boys, and released an icebreaker game: the two gave each other 5 keywords about themselves, and asked each other to write a paragraph with divergent thinking. After that, every day, the "matchmaker" will post tasks in the group, such as giving the name of "CP", watching movies together, listening to songs, and painting each other's portraits. Every day, the "matchmaker" will score the quantity and quality of the tasks completed by the two people, and there will be gifts for those with higher scores. Zhang Meng's favorite part of listening to songs together, "voice chat in the atmosphere created by music gives me a romantic feeling".

In the networking activities that he has been involved in planning and preparing, participants are also asked to choose words to describe themselves and their ideal objects, and then match them through the system. During the event, in addition to listening to songs and dancing, the organizer will also organize warm-up activities such as board games, script killing, and outdoor activities according to the budget. According to Tun Dong, after the end of the network, the organizer will collect feedback through a questionnaire, and then make corresponding adjustments to meet the needs of college students as much as possible.

In Jundong's view, although the starting point of campus friendship is to help everyone get rid of singleness, the possibility of wanting to get rid of singles through one activity is not very high, "Friendship just gives everyone the opportunity to meet new friends and broaden their social circle, thereby increasing the probability of getting out of singles."

According to Chen Wu, an associate professor at Wuhan University, many college campus networking activities are now rich in design, and the addition of script killing, "one-week CP" task check-in, etc., adds fun to the game, "which helps to quickly shorten the distance between each other and alleviate the embarrassment of meeting for the first time." At the same time, the addition of the game allows the friendship not only to stop at the introduction of basic information, but also to understand the personality, interests, and even three views of the other party by observing the performance of a person when completing the activity task, and quickly get to know a person in a relatively short period of time.

"At the college level, many people participate in campus networking is just an attempt, and the purpose of falling in love is not strong." Chen Wu feels that the mentality of college students that "it's good to make friends" makes them more receptive to campus friendship.

Campus bonding is all about authenticity

In Zhang Meng's view, the daily tasks released by the event provide a "starting point" for two people who are unfamiliar with each other and have no common topic to start chatting. "It gives us the opportunity to get to know each other from different angles and start chatting deeper when we find a point of alignment." Zhang Meng said that after the task is completed, she will also play mobile games and chat with boys, and the two will continue to chat after the "one-week CP" activity.

As a female student in a normal college, Cheche believes that there are more women than men in the school, and it is necessary to meet new friends through campus friendship. The event has a game session, and if you think you are good with each other, you will be invited to participate in the game to learn more about the contact. While playing games, Cheche will also pay attention to the boy's performance, "If it is a matter that requires cooperation between the two parties, and the other party has a good time by himself, and does not consider my feelings, I will feel that he will not take care of people or is not interested in me."

Cheche feels that a person's performance in the game can reflect his personality to a certain extent, and the networking activities provide an opportunity for everyone to observe each other and understand whether the other party is compatible with you in contact. "However, it is not that after participating in the networking event, the relationship between the two people will become better, it can only be regarded as a reference."

Xiao Xia, who is studying at a university in Beijing, is also an active participant in campus networking activities, and in her opinion, the credibility of the information is higher when she meets people in campus friendships, "At least you can clearly know that the other party must be a college student, and everyone's level will not be much worse." Two people who go to university in the same city, even if they don't know each other, are likely to find mutual friends and learn about information."

Compared with other ways of making friends, Chen Wu believes that campus friendship is more authentic and more secure. People who meet through the Internet may have a big difference between what they look online and what they actually do. The students on campus are more similar in age and life experience, and there is not much difference in general.

Many college students who actively participate in campus friendship are full of "rejection" for the blind date and friendship methods introduced by relatives and friends.

"You're both going to college in Beijing, so get to know each other." Under the persuasion of relatives, Xiao Xia added the WeChat of the blind date. Soon, the two met in the company of their relatives and made a brief introduction to themselves, and since the relatives knew that both of them liked anime, they deliberately led the conversation to the topic of anime.

Xiao Xia said that at that time, she and her blind date were both very embarrassed, the other party's eyes were evasive, and they didn't dare to look at Xiao Xia directly, obviously there was no water in the cup, and they had to pretend to drink two sips. The two felt average about each other, even so, when they left, the boy's acquaintance specially instructed: "The girl is very good, you can talk first as friends, at least give someone an explanation to your cousin." Xiao Xia felt very uncomfortable, and she no longer wanted to go on a blind date for a short time.

Chen Wu analyzed that active and passive are the essential differences between campus friendship and blind dates, and they are also one of the reasons for the different attitudes of college students. In this case, 'I' is on the passive side. Because parents and elders are involved, both parties often need to explain the progress to the elders. Campus friendship, on the other hand, is more in your own hands, and you don't need to report to anyone, which is more free. ”

Chen Wu said that falling in love by taking the initiative to participate in campus friendship is a manifestation of self-ability and charm, which is also a reason why many college students do not accept blind dates and prefer friendship.

Everyone is the director of their own life

From implicit love to active friendship, college students' welcome to campus friendship reflects the change in the concept of contemporary young people.

In the past, many people felt that friendship was too deliberate and too purposeful for relationships, and it was difficult to accept this. In Zhang Meng's view, he originally wanted to fall in love, and there was nothing wrong with being purposeful.

According to her observations, many college students are becoming more and more active and outgoing. "Naturally, it's too slow to wait for love to happen, and now when we meet someone we like, we will go up directly to ask for WeChat, and it is not uncommon for women to chase men."

"Just 7 days doesn't fully understand a person." Gao Yu, a junior girl who has participated in social activities, thinks that it is enough to use campus networking as a way to meet new friends, chat with those who meet the right people, and have an in-depth understanding after the event, "If you feel embarrassed, just don't participate, there will always be people who like this way." ”

In Chen Wu's view, today's young people are more real, pay attention to real people, real things, and real feelings, and express themselves more directly, "It turns out that some people are always twisting and pinching in the face of feelings, and they are reluctant to pierce that layer of paper." Nowadays, most young people are more daring, they can say whatever they want, and they don't like to hide it." At the same time, he feels that today's young people are more independent, know exactly what they want and what type they like, and on this basis, they participate in the friendship in a clearer direction.

"From the perspective of mate selection, young people nowadays pay more attention to spiritual communication, pursuing whether they are relaxed and happy when getting along with another person, and whether they can grow together." For example, if one person likes to shoot and the other is good at editing, it is easy for the two parties to be attracted to each other.

For these changes, Chen Wu believes that sufficient material foundation is the premise. When people's material pursuits are satisfied, they will pursue more spiritual satisfaction. He further explained that this is not to say that there is no economic pressure on young people today, but that the material conditions have become better than before, and on this basis, young people have more ideas about themselves and more personalized needs for the possibilities of life.

Chen Wu said that many young people now receive more information and have their own ideas about how to spend their later lives, "They want to be the director of their own lives, rather than passively accepting external arrangements." ”

(At the request of the interviewee, all names in this article have been changed, except for Tun Dong and Chen Wu.) Intern Xu Ziyu also contributed to this article. )

China Youth Daily, China Youth Network Intern Reporter Li Danping Intern Zhang Yuling Reporter Jiang Xiaobin Source: China Youth Daily