• MomenTVs The revenge of Jorge Javier Vázquez more rascal in Chinese Tales
  • Hearings Chinese tales loses to Pablo Motos and Jorge Javier Vázquez faces defeat: "Yesterday I went through roll call and you missed hundreds of thousands"

It is at least curious that when you arrive at the set of Cuentos Chinos, the new program of Jorge Javier Vázquez in Telecinco, if you look up and look ahead you find the headquarters of Atresmedia, that is, of Antena 3, of the competition. They tell us that it is a coincidence and that nobody was aware until they were there, but the reality is that they did not gamble.

Cuentos Chinos, produced by La Fábrica de la Tele, was born, first, with the bar very high, and, second, with a task that many would compare to the biblical legend of David against Goliath. Because Cuentos Chinos is the first program for a long time with which Telecinco wants to recover its identity in the strip that more viewers watch television, in access time. A strip governed for years by a single leader: El Hormiguero by Pablo Motos.

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The revenge of Jorge Javier Vázquez more rascal in Chinese tales

  • Writing: ESTHER MUCIENTES Madrid

The revenge of Jorge Javier Vázquez more rascal in Chinese tales

The challenge is certainly not simple. Breaking the leadership of Pablo Motos and the loyalty of his audience has been unthinkable for the rest of the chains for more than a decade. Until now, until Telecinco has set itself the task of being a new Telecinco and until La Fábrica de la Tele came up with the idea of continuing to produce for Mediaset when it closed Sálvame.

No one should be surprised that to be in the first program of Chinese Tales, among the public, observing, participating, but without losing a detail, is to get into the very nervous system of a body about to explode. At the entrance door to the set of more than 1,000 square meters you are welcomed by the giant poster of Chinese Tales.

The door opens and suddenly everything is red, "so red", as Jorge Javier Vázquez pointed out at the premiere to the public. As the "beloved leader," as he called himself, likes him. That is what was seen, but what was behind minutes before Chinese Tales began was very different or, perhaps, more real than reality.

Dozens of people dressed in oriental elements crowd a few meters from the set. Inside, cables, scattered airplane seats, the sound equipment, a DJ, Jorge Sampler in his pulpit, collaborators from one place to another, those of the press, those who rule, those who do not.

A member of the program team begs not to step on the floor that he had just passed with the mop because you can see the footsteps and everything has to be perfect. It must be that at home all these things are seen, there if you do not tell me about the footprints or find out.

A kind of fog, perhaps, produced by the condensation of the heat and humidity that makes on the plate covers the colossal set where from 14.00 hours all the team of La Fábrica de la Tele, including Jorge Javier Vázquez and collaborators, have been rehearsing minute by minute and second by second the program. "There will never be a program more prepared than the first, but in which fewer things go well," one of those responsible for Chinese Tales is heard saying. "All I want is to give birth all at once and make it Tuesday," says another.

The nerves of the members of the program are far from comparable to those of the public, or at least, that seems before I sit in one of the last rows of set reserved for the public, lest they see me at home. Because the audience of the 'nerds', those who always sit in the front row is not an audience with only the function of clapping, shouting or rising, the public had a key function: to be in charge of announcing who were going to be the first guests of Chinese Tales. They have been rehearsing for hours...

While rehearsing how to upload the posters, when it had to be done or how the partner next door would pull your shirt to make you sit down again, on the main stage of Chinese Tales Camilo's brothers-in-law, Ricky and Mau Montaner, try mics and sing the single that seems to be going to be presented in the program. But where was Jorge Javier Vázquez? Let's see if I have come to where Christ lost the lighter to be a direct witness of his return and it will not appear. From the presenter, nothing at all.

Without disturbing too much you try to get like a night ninja to the seat that has touched you. If it can be further back, the better, you say to yourself, while your gaze unconsciously searches for the position of the cameras. I am very close to the table of the presenter, the guests and the collaborators. The goal now is to secure my position, while those in front continue to control who and how they raise the poster of the next guests.

There is an entertainer who demonstrates, as the night goes by, that he has a lot of bad drool. It leaves freedom, that things are spontaneous, that the public applauds and laughs when it has to applaud and laugh, but, yes, what is measured and calculated has to go perfectly and if it does not come out ... Troy burns! I was afraid, I confess.

The time comes, Jorge Javier Vázquez comes out. Yes, it looks like Kim Jong-Un. The idea of a program with elements of China, with a huge set reminiscent of the restaurant of The 88 maniacs of the Kill Bill movie where The Bride ends with the yakuza and their leader O-Ren Ishii. So where does this crazy idea come from? It turns out that if Xavier Sardá could see the earth with the eyes of an alien since Martian Chronicles, why wouldn't Jorge Javier Vázquez be able to see the world with the eyes of the East? And from there they were spinning until they reached Chinese Tales.

By the way, Susi Caramelo and Jorge Javier Vázquez is from another league. The connection between them I do not know if it will cross the screen, but there, very close to the two, so close that I listened to their thoughts, it is impossible not to be carried away by them, by their follies and by a humor that in others would seem forced, but in them in something else. By the way, neither of them likes anal bleaching.

When the public from their homes is watching the videos prepared for the sections, Jorge Javier Vázquez does not lose eye, and that since two in the afternoon he has had to see them hundreds of times. Only when the devil's soul appears does the makeup artist allow herself to look the other way; only when he has Petra Martínez (Doña Fina in LQSA) at his side does he let himself be carried away beyond the program.

Chinese tales is gone from mother. Everyone runs, everyone counts the minutes, everyone realizes the mistakes, that the ladder had broken almost at the beginning of the program, that there have been sections that have been left out due to lack of time. They reveal that Jing Jing has become very nervous when her suit has opened in her star appearance. Only they have noticed. If they don't tell it, as if it didn't happen. At home, it has not been seen either. Only a slight dance of St. Vitus is appreciated in the cat-lioness when she is seated. Later I will find out that he had a very bad time after the suit broke. Well, Jing Jing, calm, did not even know God.

"A disaster," they say at the end, "but all the first programs are like that." "Now it's time to go up," says another. They are happy, they have already given birth. Jorge Javier Vázquez sweats as if he had just emerged from a sauna in the very center of Finland. He doesn't want hugs like that, but he's also happy, he smiles. He smiles a lot.

It's over. They already send you home. What a beating I have! And that I did nothing or almost nothing because to me so much applause up, so much applause down, so much order and so much concentration, exhaust me. I don't want to imagine how they will have ended up.

  • Telecinco
  • Jorge Javier Vazquez
  • Mediaset