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If, as Oscar Wilde said, the heart is made to break, Shakira's can fulfill its purpose. Just a few days ago, in a speechpainfully inspiring to some women, she extolled that only a woman "can love until she tears herself apart" and "speak with the most brutal honesty." He justified with his words a cathartic year singing his spite after the break with Piqué. Now with 'Acrostic' he announces a new stage, more calm, with the fury mitigated and focused on maternal love, the most powerful and unconditional.

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Is this exhibition really inspiring, accurate or convenient? Each in his own way and with more or less acuity, artists have used their ingenuity to vent sorrows. From Goethe, who wrote his famous novel 'The Sorrows of Young Werther' to relieve the pain of an unrequited love, to the indelicate verses of Paquita la del Barrio in which he turns the beloved into a filthy rat, crawling animal, scum, adefesio, savannah, vermin and many other niceties.

The duel after a love breakup

After her separation from Piqué, after twelve years of union, Shakira has been describing her emotional state through compositions, performances and choreographies. It is another way of dealing with those inevitable phases of mourning that, according to theorists, lead, little by little, to a vital renewal, the one that the Colombian singer could be announcing now.

First was the so-called tetralogy of disappointment, with four successes, each more revealing. In his opening song, 'Te felicito', he revealed that his eyes were "red from crying so much for him" and that, for completing him, he broke into pieces. Discovered the cake -in this case, the jam-, came 'Monotony' and declared that love had not died, but was already delirious. 'Session #53' was the most lucrative revenge in history by breaking all the records of views and reproductions. And, finally, 'TQG', a single released with Karol G, with which he settled: "I stayed big" and "mistakes I do not repeat". It's exactly how he felt, he explained.

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He went from the shock of the rupture to the narration of things he did or remained to do. From there to anger and then to that moment of sadness when one begins to accept reality, even if it hurts. Finally, the epilogue, the light at the end of the tunnel. "There comes a time in the life of every woman in which one no longer depends on someone to get to love or accept himself as he is," he said a few days ago. "For you," he continued, "I wrote what I wrote and sang what I sang. Because only a woman can love until she is torn, only a woman can speak with the most brutal honesty, and she can sing with rage and dance ecstatically and be moved to tears."

She noted that music was what put her on the path back to herself when she felt most lost. However, social media is divided. Is it a toxic attitude or does it really help female empowerment? Was it necessary to be so explicit?

Support helps cope with trauma

Mila Cahue, PhD in Clinical and Health Psychology, advances that what she says is what many women feel. "Historically, society has expected female sacrifice and martyrdom. Implicitly or explicitly, they have been taught that they only love well if they are able to give their lives. All this cultural residue does not change in 20 or 40 years. It's a toxic way of loving and the feeling, shared by many women raised with this mindset, is that you have to change." On the other hand, Cahue believes that there should not be such a great scrutiny of what he says. "Shakira is still overcoming what has happened to her and in psychology it is known that she is healthier if she expresses herself. It is very good to do it when a person goes through a deep wound. It seems that for her it has been traumatic because of the pain it has caused her and she needs to talk about it."

As with any other trauma, it indicates that the prognosis is more favorable if the person suffering from it has a support group with which they can vent. "It's not about giving advice, but simply listening and allowing you to vent your emotions, let the emotional wound fester. It's fantastic. Shakira has brought out the pain she has inside. Just as he shared his wonderful moments, we must now be generous enough to understand that he is festering the wound with those who were his support. He simply asks us to listen. Whoever doesn't like it, don't do it."

How does the female brain work?

Olaya Martínez, also a psychologist, recalls that everyone has their own way of loving and, although many factors intervene, the female brain also has its own way of living love. "Women have a more emotional brain and this makes us live interpersonal relationships, not just couples, in a certain way." He assumes that Shakira will be well accompanied emotionally and that all these movements will be supported by therapists who know her and follow her. "That being the case, how everyone expresses their pain is fine. Talking about it is always healing and giving its place to pain as well."

Martinez believes that from these stories we can also draw some lessons, such as that perhaps we should not reach the limit to make healthy choices. "Maybe an earlier withdrawal would have prevented that pain from being so heartbreaking. A person does not change from day to night and no one has the power to make you reach that extreme if you set the limits. This is where the emotional responsibility of each adult being would come in, although in this we tend to be wrong the vast majority of people. We resist seeing who we have in front of us and this ends up generating disappointment, frustration and a lot of suffering."

Shakira with 'the sweatshirt of revenge'Gtres

Shakira has allowed herself her time of spite and, once she has released and purified emotions, she presents 'Acrostic', a ballad in which she refines her mood. It is no longer an explosion of screams, but relief after catharsis. Transformation and evolution on a personal level after assuming that "things are not always as we dream them".

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