At first glance, most of the parents meeting are mothers

　　When a parent-teacher conference is called in the children's class, is your father usually the father or the mother?

　　Recently, when the parent, Ms. Zhang, chatted with the reporter, she talked about a previous experience: going to hold a parent-teacher meeting for her child, opened the door, and said, "It's all mothers, probably only a few men."

　　Ms. Zhang's words have been recognized by many mothers.

"My child's class is the same, at least 90% are mothers." "Our family is even worse. Dad knows that the child is in the third grade, but he doesn't know what class the child is in."... This is not an illusion of mothers.

Li Dingling, a teacher from the Primary School Affiliated to Chengdu University of Technology, told reporters that the most impressive parent-teacher meeting, a class of 43 students, ended up with 36 mothers and only 7 fathers.

Where are the dads?

Mom attends parent meeting, only a few men

　　Ms. Zhang's child is in the third grade. In the past few years, the school will hold a parent meeting on time at the end of each term. Whether it is online or offline, it has basically never been interrupted.

Since it was opened online several times before, I didn't notice the situation of the participants.

Until the end of last semester, the school held an offline parent-teacher meeting. Ms. Zhang opened the door and was shocked: Why are all the mothers here, and there are only a few men in the classroom.

　　Ms. Chen also noticed this situation.

Ms. Chen’s child is in the second grade. From kindergarten to now, she has participated in parent-teacher meetings. “(Mother) accounts for at least 90%.” Ms. Tao recalled that the child’s father only attended parent-teacher meetings once, and the rest of the time, she went.

So, where are the dads?

　　Ms. Tao said that most of the parents' meetings are on Friday afternoons, which happens to be the regular weekly office review meeting of the child's father. As an important person in charge of the company, he cannot be absent.

The situation of Ms. Zhang's family is quite special. The father of the child is basically working in another place, and he only comes back during the New Year. If he wants to participate, he cannot participate. "Actually, I really want the father of the child to hold one more parent-teacher conference. After all, the growth of the child must also be lacking. Without my father's company."

　　In addition, Mr. Luo's son is in the sixth grade this year. He told reporters that it is not that he does not want to participate in the parents' meeting of his children.

One is that the time of the parent-teacher meeting conflicts with his own business trip or meeting time; the other is that the mother usually gets along more with the child, and the child often asks the mother to participate.

"There is an unwritten division of labor in our family. Mom is in charge of things like (parents' meeting), and I'm in charge of other things at home."

teacher's memories

The number of fathers attending the meeting can be counted on one hand

　　Teacher Li Dingling from the Primary School Affiliated to Chengdu University of Technology introduced to reporters that the parent meeting is mainly attended by mothers, which is indeed more obvious and common.

　　Teacher Li was most impressed by a class of 43 students. As a result, there were 36 mothers and only 7 fathers. "Including the parent-teacher meetings at other times, anyway, the number of fathers participating in the meeting can be counted on one hand."

In addition, in her memory, a father came to attend a parent-teacher meeting and sat in the classroom for more than ten minutes, but never heard the child's name read, only to find out that the child was in the next class.

Previously, the Chinese Academy of Educational Sciences had also conducted a survey on the current situation of primary school students' family education, and the results showed that more than 50% of the families' children's education is the mother's one-man show. Only 10% of households have educational responsibilities.

　　Teacher Li feels that although he understands that individual fathers are busy in their daily lives, he also hopes that fathers will understand that "father's love and mother's love should be equal in family education, and only in this way is the best for children's growth." "Now, In many families, the practice is 'Men take the lead outside, female lead inside'. Children's learning is often handled by the mother, lacking the understanding and care of the father. If the father can take the initiative to participate in the parent-teacher meeting, it can actually help the father take the initiative to understand the child. , care for the child, so as to ensure that the love of the father and mother is not lost.

　　In response to this situation, Wu Jiang, the vice principal of the Primary School Affiliated to Chengdu University of Technology, said that the school plans to plan a parent-teacher meeting. "The educational role of a father cannot be replaced by anyone else. Formation, enlightenment of wisdom, etc. have a great impact." She said that the school hopes to gradually change this situation and allow fathers to truly participate in family education.

　　As for the form of the parent meeting, Chen Wenjing, director of the sixth grade of the primary school affiliated to Chengdu University of Technology, said that the school plans to carry out activities such as "daddy chat room" and "new dads to help recruits", so that fathers can participate more in family education. .

reporter/reporter/observation/observation

It doesn't matter who holds the parent meeting, the key is to invest in the child's growth

　　In fact, the topic of father's participation in family education has always attracted much attention, and there is no shortage of "widow-style" parenting complaints in society, which refers to a phenomenon in which fathers are absent from their children's education and growth.

　　In recent years, the absence of one parent in family education, especially the absence of the father, has not only aroused the attention of schools, but also of society. Many places have even adopted legislation to oppose the lack of parents in family education. bit.

　　For example, the "Jiangsu Province Family Education Promotion Regulations" came into effect on June 1, 2019.

Among them, it is pointed out that both parents should jointly fulfill the family education obligations of minor children.

If the parents are divorced or separated, they should continue to perform their family education obligations, and neither party may refuse to perform.

If one party carries out family education, the other party should cooperate.

　　Regarding such phenomena, Wen Jinyu, a senior clinical psychologist at Xi'an Jiaotong-Liverpool University, mentioned in an interview with the media that the problem of the absence of fathers is becoming more and more concerned in modern society, mainly because of the time that fathers put into work More and more, on the contrary, this part of taking on the father's role in the family becomes smaller and smaller.

　　"Mothers have to take on the gentle and tolerant part, but also the father's admonishment and strictness. Softness and rigidity are inherently conflicting, and most women cannot have both, and this will also create a sense of division for children. Wen Jinyu suggested that in the joint education of children, mothers should actually give their children "hugging love", that is, they should take care of their children and teach them how to express and accept love; while fathers should give their children more "Let go of love", that is, first of all, we must teach children rules and discipline, and secondly, we must give children guidance in learning, a sense of responsibility and self-confidence in career, and encourage them to explore and take risks.

"It's not the focus of the parents' meeting, but the investment and division of labor between the parents in the child's growth is the key," Wen Jinyu said.

　　Chengdu Business Daily