College students' willingness to marry in the future is higher than expected
This is what the young people who choose to marry early say
Recently, "college students' willingness to marry in the future is higher than expected" has appeared on Weibo's hot search.
According to media reports, the survey results of some youth research institutions, colleges and the media on the concept of marriage and childbirth among college students show that nearly 60% of college students hope to get married at the age of 26-30.
Baidu's hot search data shows that two of the top 10 searches for "marriage" by young people aged 18-24 are related to marriage age.
A reporter from Beijing Youth Daily interviewed six "post-95s".
In their stories, some people chose to be housewives when they were in college, some people gave birth to a "second child" while they were studying for a doctorate, and some people just graduated and worked hard in the workplace, and they became prospective fathers.
They are either buying points for a house, or because of an unexpected pregnancy, or more because of love.
After many factors, such as economy, physiology, and feelings, take turns, marriage is presented as a result.
Perhaps, marriage is not sooner or later, just waiting for the right person to come.
"In our situation, TV dramas dare not write it like this"
Narrator: Wang Mingwang
Age: 22
Marriage age: 3 months
Fertility Status: Expectant Dad
Occupation: Paramedic
City: Beijing
I was in 2000, she was in 1989, 11 years older than me.
We met working part-time in a bar.
She experienced unfamiliar territory for writing, and I worked on vacation to earn money.
She didn't expect me to be a post-00, I thought she was also a part-time college student.
The first time we met each other, we had feelings in our hearts, but we were hesitant to know each other's real age.
Fortunately, we belong to the same kind of people, and we all choose to be honest and brave in the face of feelings.
"Two fools" just bumped in and started a long-distance relationship for a year.
According to expectations, we may get married in about two years, and we will have children three or five years after we get married.
We even considered that if she is old and it will be difficult to give birth, she can give birth when she can, or forget it if she can't.
Maybe it's fate.
After just one week of living together, she became pregnant unexpectedly—at that time, the parents on both sides didn't even know we existed.
The baby is what she decides to keep.
She said that she did not want to deprive me of my right to be a father, or to deprive the elders of the family of thinking of grandchildren and grandchildren.
What I hesitated was that I was a fresh graduate, I just finished my internship at the beginning of the year, and it was less than three months after I joined the hospital where I am currently working.
More coincidentally, the unexpected pregnancy caught up with her free period of changing jobs, and she became an "unemployed".
In the past, her monthly income after tax was 15,600, which was not rich, but at least she could live comfortably.
Now, it's up to me to support the family.
Nervous and scared, the feeling of "meeting the parents" that day is still clear to this day.
But I met a female parent who was hard to find even with a lantern. Not only did she not put any pressure on me, but she treated me like her own child.
On the first day, we met the prospective father-in-law and mother-in-law, and the next day we went to collect the marriage certificate.
Because of the epidemic, she only saw her in-laws for the first time one month after getting the certificate.
I always feel that our situation is even more outrageous than TV shows.
Now, we have been certified for three months.
I go to get off work every day, and she waits for me to eat with the baby in my womb.
It is now in the second trimester, and I asked her to wait for me to come home from get off work to cook, but she always made the meals directly, and there was also a love bento during the night shift.
Luckily, we met the right person.
"We finalized the marriage online"
Narrator: Xiao Geng
Age: 26
Marriage age: 8 months
Fertility status: tentative DINK
Occupation: Investment Banking Sales
City: Shanghai
In 2021, at the age of 25, I got my license after 10 months of dating.
A realistic factor for early marriage is: buying a house plus points.
In Shanghai, a lottery point system is implemented to buy a new house.
After the subscription, according to the family, household registration, real estate and other points, enter the notary lottery selection list.
Both of us are still newbies in the workplace and only have 60 points.
Getting married can add 10 points, and the probability of buying an ideal house is greater.
His parents started looking at houses very early, and they decided on a community at the end of last year, and they brought it up to me when they were about to buy a house.
On December 21st, I received his WeChat: "Uh", "We", "Go get the certificate", three short messages, plus a cute emoji, this is how he proposed.
Although he doesn't have any romantic elements, we have the same three views, suitable personalities, and get along well. I thought to myself, "It's fine to stay together for a lifetime."
In this way, we finalized the marriage online.
Later, several new communities in the surrounding area opened at the same time, which scattered the subscription crowd.
It's a pity that our points were "wasted".
If it weren't for buying a house, we might not be in such a hurry.
When they learned that I was getting married, the first reaction of my friends was "shocked".
Why did a "rebellious young woman who didn't want to have children" get married so early?
I got the idea of DINK in my early 20s.
I discussed this with my husband before we got married, and he thought it was fine.
Maybe in a few years, I still can't escape the "birth" of my in-laws, so let's talk about it when the time comes.
Among the people I know, there are also some people who get married after graduating from a bachelor's degree, but usually they live in the same city and have better family conditions.
Like me, there are very few people who get married soon after working in other places.
I consider myself lucky to have met the right person early on.
The only regret is that I haven't been a bridesmaid yet, and I'm going to be a bride.
I want to stress that early marriage is not necessarily a surprise, it's just a choice.
It is difficult to guarantee that a marriage will be as perfect as it was for decades. While enjoying the beauty of the present, you must also be prepared to accept future changes.
If one day is unhappy, have the courage to jump out.
"Completing two major events of getting married and having a baby on the way to school"
Narrator: Awen
Age: 27
Marriage age: 2 years and 3 months
Birth Status: Two babies
Education: PhD student
City: Wuhan
In 2021, at the graduation ceremony of the master's degree, I was wearing a bachelor's uniform and huddled among my classmates for a group photo, while looking for my husband and son on the playground stand.
In 2022, when the doctoral program is about to end, I will give birth to my second child and publish an SSCI (Social Science Citation Index) paper.
At the age of 27 this year, I completed two "life events" on the way to school: marriage and childbirth.
As an adult, I had a general idea of marriage.
My sister is 7 years older than me, and married after graduating from university at the age of 22. The small family is quite happy.
I was 24 years old when I went to graduate school. Although I was young, but thinking that I would be urged to marry in the future, I hoped to have a relationship for the purpose of marriage.
During the summer vacation of the first year of research, at the recommendation of a friend, I spent 300 yuan to enter information on a blind date public account.
In less than a month, the official account matched me with a boy: a doctor of medicine, also in Wuhan, 8 years older than me.
He met my academic expectations for the other half, and we got along very well. We started dating after a month of getting along.
After half a year, I learned that I was pregnant unexpectedly, and I was very flustered.
Although I longed for marriage, as a student, I was not ready to be a mother.
But amid the expectations of people around me for the little life, the wedding was put on the agenda ahead of time, and I slowly settled down.
A little over a year later, I got pregnant again, and the baby came earlier than planned.
The success of my birth and retirement gave me less anxiety, so I welcomed the second little life with confidence.
The energy required to take care of two babies is something I've learned with hindsight.
Although my mother-in-law and auntie nanny helped take care of me, most of my time was given to my children.
Erbao easily wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes two or three times a night, and it takes an hour to coax her.
I usually catch up on sleep in the morning and spend the afternoon with my kids.
It was only after 8pm when the kids were asleep that I could really start my own studies.
The learning process is not smooth, sometimes the child wakes up to find his mother in the middle, and I still put down the work at hand to accompany him.
Looking at a child, being a mother involuntarily takes precedence over everything else.
Lying on the bed before going to bed to browse the circle of friends, and seeing unmarried friends posting travel photos, sometimes I envy their freedom.
But I don't regret it, taking into account my studies, career, and family is my ideal state.
I believe everything is arranged for the best.
"We hit the accelerator button from the start of our relationship"
Narrator: Xiao Su
Age: 24
Marriage age: 1 month
Fertility status: Consider giving birth after two or three years
Occupation: Civil servant
City: a county in Yibin, Sichuan
I never thought I would get married, and it was so early.
We met part-time in the summer training class of our junior year.
10 days of "no feeling" and 20 days of "ambiguousness", our relationship has been pressed on the "accelerator" from the very beginning.
After a few months together, he "tricked" me home.
I thought it was just a short stay downstairs at his house, but I didn't expect his family to be waiting by the window, so I was forced to "see my parents" earlier.
Soon after, we started an internship, and the rental house with him became my only home in Chengdu.
Under the pressure of frequent business trips, working overtime until 10pm, and 3-hour commute, he can still decorate my life with sunflowers, cakes, balloons, and LED lights.
After graduating from college, I went home with him without telling my family to prepare for the civil service exam full-time.
It feels good to live in his home.
His parents always spoke in a friendly manner; my family asked for “feedback” from work as soon as they graduated, and his family paid for all the expenses, and they did not let us do laundry and cook, so they provided us with the greatest support.
I didn't get admitted as a civil servant in Chengdu, and we can't afford to buy a house in Chengdu, so let's go back to the small county.
This year, both of us who lost the "World War I" "goed ashore" as civil servants in a local county in Yibin.
We got married a month ago.
After all, I just lived in his house for a year.
With that "red book", it was "justifiable" for me to live in his house.
He is the most suitable person for me to marry, no matter the relationship or the actual conditions.
I choose him, and I choose his family.
The salaries paid in like numbers, the slowly increasing "buying housing fund", the county seat that can be measured with footsteps... This is the future I can foresee, and it is also the plain life I like.
"Because I have the confidence, I am determined to have a second child"
Narrator: Kobayashi
Age: 26
Marriage age: 5 years
Fertility: Second child (one boy and one girl)
Occupation: housewife, micro-business
City: Shijiazhuang, Hebei
When I was 21 years old, I was in my third year of junior college. Because of the fate of going around, I married a boy I had known since childhood.
He is 5 years older than me.
When I was in elementary school, I admired him very much, but because of the age difference, I didn't have much contact.
In high school, the family went to Japan, and we kept in touch on and off.
In the year of college, our communication suddenly increased, and our relationship was confirmed.
Later, I didn't want to go to another place, so I let him go back to China to get a certificate.
I don't pay attention to the ceremony, not even the wedding.
In my eyes, I like to be big.
I remember that before marriage, I went to Japan to find him once and encountered a rare typhoon.
He first drove to meet me, and the highway was blocked midway.
Changed to the Shinkansen, and it didn't take long for it to stop running.
In order to see me, he tried to take a taxi again, standing in the rain and waiting for a long time.
When he got to the hotel, he was soaked all over.
At that moment, I realized that I was loved so firmly.
A few months after we got married, I got pregnant.
I care most about the other person's ability to share parenting responsibilities with me, and he does a great job of that.
After the eldest was born, he would wake up in the middle of the night to accompany me to breastfeed, and set an alarm clock at night to make formula and feed the baby.
When the eldest was a baby, I never helped the child change his diaper in the middle of the night; as the eldest grew up, he also took on all the work of making complementary food and taking him out to play.
Because of the confidence, I unswervingly chose to have a second child.
He did love me first and then the children.
When I go out and buy my kids a marinade for their fried chicken wings, he'll bring back a bag of oranges that I stumbled upon two weeks ago. Hair, as long as he's at home I haven't blown my hair myself.
Many small details in life are really difficult to do, but he has insisted on it for five years.
'Financial independence is more important than marriage age'
Narrator: Xiao Yin
Age: 27
Marriage age: 1 month
Fertility: Plan to have a baby dragon in two years
Occupation: Media industry
City: Beijing
I just got my marriage license last month.
My daughter-in-law's "Yue Lao" is actually my father.
They met during the morning exercise and ran, and they got to know each other and chatted, and found that the girl was about my age, but a year older.
In fact, my dad didn't intend to treat him as a daughter-in-law at that time, he just wanted us to exchange experience in postgraduate entrance examination.
We felt good about each other and developed a relationship.
Compared with previous relationships, my daughter-in-law is more suitable to start a family with me.
She can run the house and take care of me. At least she is more diligent than me, and she is quite complementary to me.
In fact, I don't have too much requirements for the other half's conditions, except that I hope to be an only child as much as possible.
My daughter-in-law happens to be an only child, and her parents are both civil servants. She also has an education, a job, and a good income.
Although it is not a Beijing hukou, it is not far from Beijing, just a few dozen kilometers away in Gu'an.
It can be said that these conditions can no longer be selected.
As for what she saw in me, I didn't ask in detail.
What she cares most about is that I am in the media industry and there are many female colleagues around me, so she feels insecure.
I understand this, she didn't find anything, it's fine.
The trust between us has been established, we get along well, the conditions are met, and the family is suitable. In this case, two people do not get married, so what are you waiting for?
So we got married is a very natural thing.
It's time to go to the next step.
In my opinion, the key to early marriage is to look at personal development.
At least you have to have a job, as long as you are financially independent, you can start a family.
Age is not important, independence is the most important.
Text/Reporter Chen Jing Zhu Jianyong Zhang Ziyuan
Intern Zhang Xingyu Li Qianxiao Cai Xueqin Sun Zhe