(1)
They fall in love, love shakes their lives, they decide to marry to live together until death, they encounter many problems from their family and society, they face the matter with courage and patience and win, they get married, and once a few years pass until they decide to separate, they praise each other, but they decide to separate.
Everyone asks: What happened?
What turned things upside down?
(2)
Does the person change?
Is there a person who does not change?
Rather, it changes in a strange and at times frightening way, the person with whom I have been associated, is today another being, perhaps unrelated to the one I have chosen as my lifelong companion.
It has nothing to do with morals, which is not the point here.
Rather, what is meant is a person's identity, characteristics, temperament, and thoughts.
Yes.. the original is that a person changes, but that a person remains as he is for 20 and 30 years is illogical. A person renews his copy every once in a while, just as we do with our electronic devices. This happens intentionally or unintentionally, the daily life we go through, and our experiences that endless;
Never leave us as we were.
Do we change for the better or do we change for the worse?
Everyone has his own condition, and perhaps those around him have their own contradictory opinions about him. There are those who see that the intended person has developed himself and become a better version, and there are those who see that the updated version is miserable, and this applies to both parties.
So we have two copies, each party has a new copy, so do the two new copies match the same as the old two?
It is scary, and terrifying, to wake up in the morning and find a life companion who has lost his desire for you, he has lost his passion for you, he has lost his madness with your presence.
(3)
Was this happening to our parents and grandparents?
It is not possible to compare, each generation has its own peculiarities, and I think that the pace of time now is very much faster than the time in which our fathers lived, so the changes that are afflicting us are also very fast.
Most of our parents were born and lived in their countries, a fairly stable life. As for this generation, it faces fierce trials and tribulations as a result of political developments. Equal to those who emigrated and those who stayed, stormy events, a volcano of ideas, and suffocating economic crises, and in the midst of all of that is difficult One must remain as he is, calm and settled, go to work, and return from him with peace of mind.
(4)
Can feelings turn off suddenly?
Why not?!
Why do we forget that these feelings were born suddenly, for no apparent reason, the two hearts were attached perhaps at first sight, without any calculations, he chose them in particular, even though there are those who are more beautiful than her, she chose him in particular, even though there are those who are better able and right, other than That each one has chosen his companion for unknown reasons, which the person himself does not know, but his heart pushes him with impulse, so - as these feelings were born without a clear reason - they may die without a clear reason unfortunately.
It is scary, and terrifying, to wake up in the morning and find a life companion who has lost his desire for you, he has lost his passion for you, he has lost his madness with your presence.
Unfortunately, in any human relationship, there are no guarantees for its continuity. You cannot take pre-engagement measures to ensure that you continue to do what you love, and that the companion will not change.
But I do not think that this happens suddenly, there were signs and indicators that you did not pay attention to, and did not work to treat it, and the reasons that lead to this are many and varied:
The routine - for example - that you did not think to break, the boring daily life, continuous and continuous with the same rituals without interruption, neither weekly nor annual vacation.
Interventions of both families, the advice of friends in good faith or in bad faith, may implicate both parties for worse.
The concepts of each party about marital life, its role in it, and the mechanism of the relationship with the other party, with what some believe is like a war that must be fought fiercely, and victory over the opponent (the beloved), and self-affirmation and existence.
Different cultures and beliefs, between two different nationalities, so that the state of fascination with the other turns into a state of rejection.
The moodiness that one of you is good at, and finds a reason to show strength and control, while the other party desires life, and wants to live it happily with joy.
Perhaps travel and absence, which inflames longing at first, then turns into a coldness of feelings.
A thousand reasons and reasons, a thousand signs and signs, but you did not pay attention to them.
(5)
Can it be avoided?
In most cases yes.
If the two parties initially believe that the marriage is greater than the moment they sign an official certificate before the authorized person.
They believe that marriage is a project of life, an institution that needs management, care, maintenance and renewal.
Does this guarantee that the lovers will not be separated?
Unfortunately, in any human relationship, there are no guarantees for its continuity. You cannot take pre-engagement measures to ensure that you continue to do what you love, and that the companion will not change.
Yes, good choice reduces the possibilities of difference and separation, but it does not guarantee that it will not happen. There are things that you will not be able to discover in yourself and in your partner until after marriage, after daily life, after taking responsibility, after facing the hardships of life.
(6)
Can we survive parting?
They walked away.. they separated for a limited time.
When we get angry, we don't think about the value of what we have. Temporary separation gives us the opportunity to reconsider our accounts.
It is a truce, in which each side reviews itself, and it is just that he remembers the advantages of the other as well as his faults, reminding himself that no person is perfect, that he himself has faults, and that any other human being to whom he will be associated will also have his faults.
It is “the time of reason,” sober thinking, wise choice of friends to consult, praying to God to give him the right decision, conjuring up the good days, plans for the future, and just like any company that suffers loss he tries to draw up a plan for rebuilding.
If all of that fails, then let him deliver his command to God.
(7)
What do we do when parting?
Give yourself time to grieve. It's a normal human feeling. Don't force yourself to do what's not normal, but don't spend too much time doing it.
If the experiment was a failure, remembering it and recalling its events is as if you are reliving it, as if you are punishing yourself.
To heal your wounds and blink.. Life is all harsh experiences, so do not stop.
Do not enter into a new relationship until the wound has completely healed, or you will hurt yourself and the person you are connected to.
Fold the page and start over and benefit from your experience.
Yes, this is not easy, but it is not impossible.