During the coffee break, the colleague explains that his supervisor presented an analysis he had prepared as his work and received great praise from management.
He rolls his eyes, his listeners nod in solidarity.
"Contempt is hurtful," says Michael Knoll, a work psychologist at the University of Leipzig.
It is important to be recognized and valued by others.
"We want to get something back when we have invested." Sociological research shows that entities such as family or church are less important today than they used to be, but that success at work continues to serve as a measure of value.
A survey on everyday experiences in Germany in 2019 showed that almost 60 percent felt appreciated at work, but around 55 percent had also experienced contempt.
"Appreciation always has to do with a certain attitude," says psychologist Meltem Avci-Werning.
"But the basic attitude for respectful cooperation applies to both directions."
Feedback conversations are an opportunity to give credit or offer criticism.
But for that they have to take place.
Instead, you often hear other stories: namely that meetings with superiors are constantly canceled at short notice, that something else is always more important – and that in the end motivation is lost and leads to termination.
A counterexample is the company Vias Rail from Hagen: "Showing an interest in the work and life of our employees is our way of expressing our appreciation," says Human Resources Director Peter Bosse.
We try to create occasions for this.
The private railway company, which has around 700 employees, often sets up currywurst or coffee stalls at its locations so that employees and management can talk.
Work psychologist Knoll says recognition is becoming more important.
It used to be clearer how to make a career.
Today there is more uncertainty.
Especially when it comes to project work, relationships are more fleeting than they used to be, and in times of home office and distance work, the nuances in communication are missing.
In the rationalized, condensed world of work, appreciation falls by the wayside.
"Not scolded is praised enough" - that's not enough!
Meltem Avci-Werning, President of the Professional Association of German Psychologists, finds that cultural and biographical differences have a major impact on whether and how appreciation is shown.
The Swabian "not scolded is praised enough" may be enough for frugal people.
On the other hand, those who constantly praise everyone do not point out any differences, and the recognition loses its distinctiveness.
In addition, appreciative remarks are not understood by everyone as they are intended.
Therefore, one should make sure that she has arrived.
Knoll says that constructive criticism is also appreciated.
It shows that you have invested time and energy.
Respectful interaction has a positive effect on the workforce, as an American study from 2021 shows: The employees were more satisfied with their work
the more respectfully they were treated.
They were also more committed to the company's goals than those who didn't feel respected.
A former CEO reports that the owners of his company limited themselves to paying bonuses.
Appreciation for his achievements was only attested to in his job reference when he left the company due to a lack of recognition.
According to Knoll, it is very possible to appreciate employees in everyday dealings: express personal thanks, greet them, ask for their opinion, emphasize their contribution to the success, grant freedom.
It is important that this is meant honestly and is not a one-off occurrence that appears to have been imposed in a generally indifferent working atmosphere.
Personnel manager Peter Bosse reports that the shareholder of his company introduced himself to him in his first week of work.
That creates closeness.
It's easier for him
The 2013 amendment to the Occupational Safety and Health Act also addressed the importance of appreciation.
Since then, the psychological stress of work has had to be assessed as a risk from the employer: in addition to excessive work intensity and bullying, a lack of appreciation is also listed as a risk factor.
However, appreciation is not always cost-neutral.
In the past, dumping wages were paid in some railway companies, says Bosse.
In the meantime, there are performance-related collective wages that are competitive across all sectors.
"A decent salary is a basis, but not yet appreciation," he says.
In addition, there is sometimes a fuel voucher or an invitation to eat when employees have completed a project or there was a lot to do.
"That has a different effect than an additional 100 euros on the account."