China News Service, Beijing, August 4th (Liu Yue) Today is the Qixi Festival.
The fine cloud is clever, the flying star spreads hatred, and the silver man is dark.
As soon as the golden wind and jade dew meet, they will win but there are countless people in the world.
In modern society, "Qixi" is roughly equivalent to Valentine's Day, a sweet festival to express love.
However, falling in love is always easy, getting along is too difficult.
Compared with the principled issues such as crimes and third parties, those trivial things in daily life are more difficult to guard against - they are like "assassins" in love, they suddenly stab you in the air, the wound is small, and it seems that It should be calculated, but it will add up to a lot, it will be difficult to heal, and eventually people will be bruised all over.
You escaped the ice cream assassin, can you escape the "love assassin"?
Chai Rice Oil Salt Sauce Vinegar Tea
is the test of love
The beginning is always wonderful every minute, and everyone thinks that enthusiasm will never diminish.
However, after the hormones fail, the chai, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea in life have become the first test of love.
A German man used a chainsaw to cut everything including his car, HDTV and Apple MacBook Pro in half after his divorce from his wife.
Image source: CFP Vision China
"I may be the only girl who broke up with her boyfriend because of her nails." The first interviewee, a post-90s girl who works as a kindergarten teacher, laughed at herself.
Thanks to the various ways of making friends in modern young people's channels, Ye Ye and her boyfriend met on social platforms. During the three months of online dating, they both maintained a bright "personality" on the screen, and their love was like glue.
"Did you know? When we first met, I even took small sips of coffee because I was afraid that the lipstick would smear." Ye Zi took a deep breath, "Then I saw that his little finger was very small. Long nails, especially protruding, pointy nails."
Ye Ye described how she felt at that moment with a "momentary head down", especially when the other party put her little finger in the ear hole and turned around - "No matter what he said to me since then, all I have in mind are nails, nails, Nails, my God, the nails of fate."
"The reason for the breakup is very official. It's a personal incompatibility. It sounds like a big deal because a nail is lifted." Ye Zi shrugged: "I don't want to be a talking point in his circle of friends."
Compared with Ye Zi's cool withdrawal after "seeing the light and dying", more people are distressed by the innocence of their partners in life and the small problems that make people feel like they are stuck in their throats.
"My girlfriend never cleans the bathroom after taking a shower, and the sewer is blocked ten times and nine times because of her hair." - Xiao Guo, an Internet practitioner, broke the news and told the editor to give him a pseudonym.
"Can you imagine that a handsome 183-year-old guy picks up clothes from the laundry basket every day to wear them." Siyuan, who works in human resources, complained about her boyfriend: "If I don't help him wash, his socks can be worn for a week. Have you ever seen a sock that can stand up by itself? I have. The original beauty filter has long since collapsed."
Xiao Wang, who is rooted in the media industry, is very good at communicating with the interviewees, but he and his wife will never talk about housework: "Why does housework become a contradiction, because neither of them wants to do it. Having a cat makes it difficult. The house is very messy, and no one wants to clean it up. Every time I can't bear it, I do it. If I do too much, I will be unhappy."
Under normal circumstances, mature partners do not quarrel with their other half for this reason. Xiao Wangdang said: "She can't bear it and will quarrel with me, but I will not quarrel. , because I got the job done."
In this regard, the editor's leader, Mr. Lu, who has been deeply involved in the media field for many years, put forward a concise suggestion when reviewing the manuscript: "Look for cleaning, the kind that guarantees the year."
Feelings of not getting positive feedback
like waiting for a boat at the airport
Perhaps it is more painful to sting others in love by endlessly "taking out the trash" on each other than not loving to pick up the trash.
The "Museum of Broken Relationships" in Yunyan District, Guiyang City attracts many citizens and tourists to visit.
Photo by China News Agency reporter Qu Honglun
"The so-called tree hole sounds very romantic, but no one wants to be a forever trash can." Talking about his ex-girlfriend, Xiao Han felt a little regretful that he could not go from school uniform to wedding dress. Behind the objective factors of "long-distance relationship", Love Assassin kills in pain: "For a while, she was always complaining, feeling that life was not good, her friends were not good, her family was not good, and even her pets were not good. It made me feel that every time I talked to her, it was very uncomfortable. Depressed."
Xiao Han works in a large public relations company, a good gentleman who is obedient in love, physically and mentally exhausted from the negative energy instilled by his ex-girlfriend time and time again: "I will coax her first, and after coaxing, I will be objective. I tried to help her analyze this matter from a rational point of view, but there was no feedback and no effect. She complained to you just for the sake of complaining. This situation has been going on for a long time. One is that you are tired, and the other is that you will resist communicating with her. It has nothing to do with love, it is a human instinct."
"In the relationship between the two parties, if one party continues to share his bad mood, and the other party always welcomes everything with a positive, warm and inclusive attitude, at first glance, everyone may feel that it is very beautiful and fits very well. They are really born together. Yes, but not so, there is a limit to everyone's patience and positive energy."
Feelings that don't get feedback are like throwing a stone into a bottomless ancient well. You can't tell whether TA's heart is splashing or not at that moment.
"What I hate most is his coldness and violence." The girl Rui Rui was still angry when she mentioned her ex-boyfriend whom she dated in college: "As long as there is a problem, he will be very negative. If you send him WeChat and don't answer the phone, if something happens Just say it, if you don't say it, how do I know what you want to do?"
Cold violence will lead to all kinds of unprovoked suspicions and cranky thoughts. Rui Rui thinks this is an unsolved problem. "The final result is that the two people have nothing to say, and one party can't stand it anymore and proposes to break up."
A mature, healthy partner doesn't have to be romantic, but it needs to be like a reliable valley, with a heart that is settled, a response, and an echo of love.
Instead of making the other half uneasy, waiting at the airport for a ship that will never come.
love shouldn't
to be endlessly tested
Never getting feedback, and endless temptation, are the two extremes of love.
Chongqing Yangjiaping "Museum of Broken Relationship" attracts citizens to visit.
Photo by Chen Chao
"My girlfriend is too much." The post-00 boy Xiao Liu was very helpless. He gave an example: "I took her to see my good brother, and we all had dinner together, just because she didn't bring her food, she slapped her face on the spot, Turn around and leave, so I can't get off the stage."
"I know the reason for her 'doing' is that she has no sense of security. She wants to check again and again whether her boyfriend still likes her." Xiao Liu said: "But feelings cannot be tested as bargaining chips. Once I worked overtime. It was very late when she suddenly said that she was not feeling well, I left my job and drove to her house in the middle of the night, but she fluttered and said, 'I'm really working overtime', and I almost broke up on the spot."
The two have been together for three years, on and off countless times, Xiao Liu smiled bitterly: "I don't know how long I can last, we haven't been defeated by things like graduation, work, family gap, and third parties. It didn't happen, but I'm just feeling a little tired right now."
Small for pleasure, big for hurt.
Appropriate 'action' can act as a moderator of emotion, otherwise it will cool down the relationship.
In the final analysis, the so-called "work" is nothing but a test of the bottom line.
Similar to Xiao Liu's situation, as a graduate student in a 211 college, the girl Youzi is struggling with a campus romance.
Because of the misfortune of the original family, Yuzi's boyfriend is obviously outstanding and tall and handsome, but he is extremely insecure. The way of externalizing it is that he likes to make Yuzi jealous through all inexplicable methods.
"He will deliberately mention the sweetness with his ex to stimulate me, deliberately say in front of me that a certain female classmate is dressed beautifully today, and deliberately like and comment on other girls' selfies during the quarrel. He was reading in the library, and someone handed a small The note asked for his contact information, if I didn’t show a strong reaction, he would get angry with me and ask me if I didn’t care about him at all.” Yuzi was a little confused: “He enjoyed the feeling that I was jealous for him. , I think this is the performance of my love for him, but I will also be depressed and sad."
Don't use the method of testing the bottom line to confirm love, because human nature does not allow for temptation.
The person being tempted, after flashing dazed, painful, and forced calmness in his eyes again and again, his love was worn away bit by bit.
middle-aged and elderly
Will you also encounter a "love assassin"?
There are nine words in the history of Chinese sketches that can sum up the public's impression of the emotional state of middle-aged and elderly people: "If you make do with it, you can still be far away." Therefore, we specially interviewed an old couple who have been working together for 60 years to see where What is the difference between them and young people on the issue of "love assassins".
50 old couples in Hefei, Anhui Province took a romantic wedding photo in Chongyang.
Photo by China News Agency reporter Zhang Yazi
"This old man said it was nice to be helpful, but if it was bad, he was like that Pacific policeman. He ran to people's houses every day to do this and that, but he could do it. He didn't care about his family at all, and a few children went to school, Work and marriage are all handled by me." When it came to this topic, Grandma Huang began to turn over the old accounts of her wife, Grandpa Chen: "Why didn't "Moving China" give him an award? Your reporter work is still not enough."
The old man was a model worker when he was young. He was proficient in repairing various electrical appliances. He was warm-hearted, so he often carried a tool bag to send warmth from house to house.
When they were young, the two quarreled a lot over this matter, and they also had a relationship crisis: "Once a lesbian called our house, and I picked it up. The voice was sweet, 'Is Master Chen at home? My home appliance fan is broken. Now, can you come and fix it for me?' I was so angry that I replied, 'He's not available, our own TV is broken and we haven't repaired it yet', I put the phone down and scolded him badly."
"Didn't I later admit my mistakes and correct them? From now on, I resolutely turned my elbows inward." After being uncovered by his wife, Old Man Chen happily scratched his head.
Sixty years of ups and downs, both of them have countless small problems - grandma dislikes grandpa for not washing his feet, not cleaning up the dog, blindly being able to offend people, grandfather teasing grandma for unpalatable cooking, greedy for petty cheap, bad temper not to be trifled.
From youth to old age, love assassins waited for an opportunity around them but found nothing. The two quarreled and blushed, and they stumbled but never let go of each other's hands, even for a moment.
"When I was young, I repaired machines in the factory, and I also repaired radios, watches, and bicycles." Mr. Chen said slowly: "Look at our time, when something was broken, we first thought about repairing it. Now you guys Young people are always thinking about changing, and their mobile phones are changed every three months, so what is it?"
"When things are old, they have feelings, not to mention people?"
A couple admiring the sunset on the waterfront of Aberdeen.
Photo by China News Agency reporter Hong Fan
The fog loses the tower, the moon is lost in the Jin crossing, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl meet on the bridge, and the cool wind blows away the joy and hatred.
But life is not a fairy tale, and a little bit of hormones can make love to the end of the world. It requires us to manage it seriously and practice hard.
Why are there so many difficulties in life, because lovers, like murderers, like to return to the scene after the fact, and it is useless and regrettable.
Self, doubt, suspicion, and hurt are sharp knives, while tolerance, understanding, respect, and change are shields.
Love cannot be clearly priced like ice cream. In order to resist the "love assassin", we need to examine the relationship between the sexes rationally and find the seemingly insignificant grain in the shoe, but it can make the feet bloody. Throw it away decisively, and apply medicine patiently. In the end, heal yourself and heal each other.
(Finish)