In "Sans Rendez-vous", the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to Myriam, 24, who claims to be emotionally dependent on her boyfriend.

According to her, this state is a depressive state which is the consequence of a lack during childhood ...

Emotional dependence can make you depressed, aggressive and jealous.

In "Sans Rendez-vous", the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc answered the question of Myriam, who feels dependent on her boyfriend and seeks advice to live differently.

She advises him to look for the reasons for this state in his childhood.

Myriam's question, 24 years old

"I'm very close to my boyfriend. We live together. As soon as he leaves to see friends or his family, I feel empty. I feel like I'm super dependent and I have a hard time living as that. Do you have any advice for me? "

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Catherine Blanc's response

"Dependence is a consequence of feeling empty, that is to say that there is too little understanding of its value in it, a doubt about itself. It can only be reduced to the The other makes her become, which certainly refers to her story as a little girl with her mother: needing to absorb the other in order to feel fulfilled. existence and therefore the means of an addiction that we could also have through food. There are for example people who will fight this depressive state - in the sense of depreciating themselves - by feeding themselves to excess to to be able to fill that sidereal void that they feel inside. It is a great pain. And it is not the proof of a love, it isis truly proof of personal weakness. "

Is it necessarily linked to a trauma?

“It can be a trauma, like missing out on a mom as an infant, because the addiction really sets in very, very young. It's often also a mom who has been there, but who has been herself. depressed therefore was not a carrier of positive in the gaze or wonder of her own abilities. She is a mother who may have experienced a baby blues that dragged on ... The child does not feel fulfilled by the mother, which will create a great feeling of emptiness which then reverberates and finds all the means of dependence to try to be filled. "

Does emotional dependence affect women more than men?

"No, not at all. We can see it more particularly expressed by women. But men do it differently. Their dependence is often in the organization: 'Where are you going. But why are you coming home at such a time?', something a little police in their way of doing things, a little aggressive, but that is not all that different. "

Is this dependence accompanied by character traits such as jealousy, intolerance of frustration ...?

"Yes, of course. Aggression is paramount, of course, since it's anger at what doesn't fulfill. But also jealousy, or crying and all the big sorrows. And obviously, it's a state. depressive."