Why am I not shocked?

Since the advent of "Covid-19" disease, people - and me - have nothing but research in the origin, characteristics and behavior of this virus. It turned into phobia, but I was not shocked when I knew and was not afraid of death, for the simple reason that he had disappeared with all his symptoms.

The result of the examination was delayed until I said to myself: If this is not Corona, what would it be? Of course, "Corona" is not the exact diagnosis, as it is a large family including the flu itself.

The virus that infected me was "SARS Covid-2" which causes "Covid-19", known medialy as "Corona". Given the severity of the symptoms I initially experienced, I am categorized in mild cases. God was, therefore, in the help of heavy and critical situations.

As I traveled to a country affected by the epidemic, it was not possible to traumatize it. It is inconceivable that what appeared on me was due to a passing cold, while I was just coming from airports traveling from all corners of the earth. The passenger next to you, me and hundreds of others on this trip, went to a bathroom where one could not turn too tight. 

Where is the shock then? Why am I shocked?
Yes, I sometimes felt that I would die from the weirdness and weight of symptoms, and I took covenants for myself. I said: I want to be for my children as my father was mine, my father was all my life.

We used to play together and run together, read poetry together and tell the stories of the first two, memorize the Qur’an, and bring councils with the men of our village and customary arbitration councils that settle disputes, away from the state, its government, its police, and its courts.

I used to grow our scattered fields in the north and south around our canal, which were wasted as if it were a very deadly river in other countries, but it did not get the title of "river" only because its luck is that it borders the Nile and that it originates from it. How many boys from our village drowned in it because of its torrential stream, I was just lucky that she did not take me with them.

My father was a farmer but not like all farmers, he was baking with my mother and cleaning the house, he was good in his people and town, humble and friendly with his household. He never called me except "my lord" (breaking the Seine and the sign without stressing), as if I was his owner, not his son.

This father was learning from him more than school, and I loved him more than all my toys I used to make myself. He taught me that, too. I miss this father so far, and I kept crying for many years all night.

I thought about our situation today: Are we our children the same as my father? Do our children now need a father as a father? In my opinion, the answer is yes. But is this possible? Was I not so attached to my father and mother because there was nothing that distracted me or kept them from me?

Yes, there was something that worried us all, me and the kids, we could have spent all our days in fun and play, and what were the most games that took us all day? There is no doubt that my father had a lot of work and responsibilities, but if he attended, I attended all the joy, and from this joy he enters whatever he wants in my heart and mind.

I know that my children love me a lot, and I love them more, but I fear that we are in a time when we have less influence on our children, and they are less attached to us.

I think this general closure in the world is an opportunity for us to be fathers as it should, fathers like my father who left a mark on myself that the years have not erased, fathers that we play, learn and learn with our children again.

Unfortunately, I did not have this opportunity because I was practicing voluntary isolation first, then quarantined. But I intend to take every moment of mine with my children, if I leave safe and sound from here and return to my home.