EUROPE 1 ACCOMPANES YOU
It is an easy solution to avoid long explanations after a disappointing sex: to simulate. But is it really serious? And how to stop this mechanism without hurting his partner? For our sex therapist Catherine Blanc, columnist in the show Sans Rendez-Vous, on Europe 1, it is important to understand that a successful sex is not necessarily accompanied by an orgasm or loud noises, and that must learn to take his time.
Eve's question
"I've always used to simulate since the fun did not happen immediately, so I could avoid the question 'so how was it?' Now that I'm in a relationship and very in love, I would like to be able to let what comes, or not, but I'm afraid of my partner's reaction, how do I feel locked into a process I've created. "
Catherine Blanc's answer
"It's very good to walk hand in hand, to see what we can discover together, to say 'this is the first time I feel it' or 'ah, something is happening'. It takes silence for something to come in. If we are always moving, shouting or talking, we make something, we are very little in the here and now. the novelty: she is right to want to stop.
Successful intercourse does not necessarily involve orgasm. What is successful is the proof of a tenderness, the proof of a moment when we together. We do not shout all the time. One can be moved internally. Often, the pleasure is even painful to testify. If we purr to say to the other 'it's good', it's already a little out of that moment. It must be said that in the silence, a lot of things happen. We must look at each other. We can simply change the communication through the look, which will show the intensity of 'I like it'.
Our audience may have been unable to discover things by this staging was already too high compared to what was happening in it. It's the worry of not feeling anything that makes her always put herself on the stage to be the 'super woman'. They will have things to discover together. There will be tender moments, soft, small sounds, small breaths, 'yes', 'still', which will punctuate the sexuality, which will be just as interesting and which will lead to orgasm.
How to approach the subject without hurting his partner?
We can just say, 'I feel so quiet, so in love, that I want to let things come slowly, and I want to go from silence to speech, from silence to sound, to singing, to shout, laughter rather than immediately put me on stage as I used to do it. If you agree, give us time and marvel at what we discover. ' And that's charming. "