Children of the present age are more exposed to sexual stimuli, both in advertising and in films. In fact, animations are often free of sexual connotations, and with their early use of technology and their interaction with the Internet world, the possibility of exposure to these materials at an early age is increasing Continuous. As a result, parents can be surprised by their children asking questions about sex at the age of six or five, the same questions posed by previous generations, perhaps at the age of 10 or older. You may not believe the great change that today's children experience unless you are surprised by your children asking you embarrassing questions. So you have to be well prepared for this. You have to start talking to your children about sex.
The importance of sexual education for children
Most of the current generation of parents did not argue with their parents about sexual issues before marriage. All the information they received was through friends at school or some outside sources. Some women only knew about sex at the time of marriage, which opened the door to a lot of information. Misconceptions and false superstitions that have long been believed by people and caused many problems, fear and uneasiness. In addition to the bad sexual practices of not a few women, such as circumcision, the intimate relationship between spouses in many marriages was not good, and the relationship between parents and children who grew up and became eligible for other children could have been better That the parents were interested in talking with their children with awareness and frankness.
However, some ask, "Why do people today have to sexually educate their children?" The answer is that children will be exposed to information about sex whether parents are the source of this information or not. Today's children live in an open world of information Which can not be stopped, so opening a gender-sensitive dialogue with children will ensure that they have access to correct and correct information and age, and that they also contribute to the strengthening of the relationship between children and parents. They are also likely to have a better sexual life .
Psychological and cognitive rehabilitation of parents
The curiosity of children towards sexual matters is normal and happens to all children at some point in their childhood and adolescence, which is sensitive and thorny to the parents due to our Eastern nature and conservative education that most of the parents were born on. Therefore, the first step in raising children sexually is the rehabilitation of parents for this stage, (1) Although it is customary for parents to sit with the child one large session to talk about sex, the new studies have proven that it is better to integrate the parents of sexual information simple and appropriate for the age of the child amid the conversations now Yeh normal.
One long and intense session puts the child under a great nervous pressure, and he may not be able to absorb all that is said at once, while the continuous talk for years is what really affects the child's growth. Although they may not seem to be hearing very well at the young age, the truth is the opposite, so it is important to repeat such dialogues from the first years of the child's life.
Education is small
A child's education about sex can begin at the age of two, by teaching him the correct or agreed names of his or her own members. The names of these members are not supposed to be equal. Like any other body member such as the hand, mouth, foot and other organs, Different from those owned by girls, but must also emphasize that this is the only difference between the sexes, without which they are equal in mind, responsibility and duties. This is also the ideal time to teach the child that he has special members that no one should see or touch. When he refuses to enter his parents with him after he has learned to rely on himself in bathing and hygiene, this decision must be respected to encourage him to maintain his own space.
Before the child begins to go through puberty, he must be warned not to be ashamed of his body, and that the changes he will undergo have been passed by everyone
Children have special perceptions from their personal world about pregnancy, childbirth and the relationship that family members bring together. At this age it is better to listen than to talk, to let the children talk and to urge them to complete the conversation with some motivational curiosity, but without exaggerating them so that the child does not feel there Something wrong and stops talking. Understanding the questions that are in the minds of children is the key to answering them, so when a child asks a question, you should listen to him well and know the circumstances surrounding this question so that the parents can respond appropriately to his or her age. The child may be asked about pregnancy, childbirth and how it should occur. The answer is detailed in the sexual process, but it is brief and simple without going into more detail, paying attention to not lying or planting misconceptions about sex in the child's mind.
Puberty and adolescence
With the development of the child and the development of his mind and feelings, the method of parents' dialogue develops with him. As he moves from childhood to adolescence, the conversation becomes more detailed and deeper. Before the child begins to go through puberty, he must be warned not to be ashamed of his body, and that the changes he will undergo have passed by everyone, and not to worry also that the delay of puberty a little, this has nothing to do with anything and does not have the ability to control it, the teeth. Because talking about sex is difficult for both parents and children, so if parents find it difficult to speak at this age, or children are not willing to engage in this conversation with their parents, children can be referred to trusted people from first-degree relatives or behavioral specialists.
Parents can also use some specialized books on this, read it and read it to their children, and discuss later in the information and topics put forward by the book. (4) the child is shocked when he knows what the real sex, and understand that his parents practiced sex even once, it becomes difficult for them to understand the subject and may change the direction suddenly talk to another direction, here parents must respect the confusion and confusion in which the child, Without a wheel.
Rules should not be forgotten
- To raise children's awareness of sexuality does not mean never raising them without ethics or religion. On the contrary, these conversations are the best opportunity for parents to instill in their children the set of values they want their children to grow up with, for example, Religious teachings, and many others.
- It is preferable to stay away from the prohibitions to talk to them, and to use words that are comfortable for the children's ears. The phrase "You can only have sex in marriage" means "You can have sex when you get married." This simple way of changing some words has a great effect on children. , They do not associate sex with the word "no" and rejection, nor do they move the stubborn part of their personality.
- Children are smart, so lying to them is not desirable because they will discover sooner or later, then they will lose confidence in parents and may not regain this confidence again, and there is no reason to lie, but on the contrary must stay away from myths and myths when talking about sex With children, so that children can grow up in a healthy and intelligent environment.
- The importance of love and respect should be emphasized between the couple who have a sexual relationship. The existence of sex does not prevent respect, and the existence of respect does not prevent sex and love as the basis of each.
- Talking about sex may be awkward for parents, but you must control the facial expressions without blushing, and the tone of the voice quiet without stammering, even if the inner feeling is very shy.
- Do not abuse the child when asked about one of these things, and respond calmly without the answer include words such as: "The disadvantage of this talk belongs to adults only," as long as the child asked about this means that he has curiosity towards him, and will not rest until he finds Answer his question.
- It is important to emphasize that sex is not only a means of procreation, but a means that God has permitted in marriage. Sex is an expression of love and pleasure. It may seem disgusting or disgusting from their point of view. The truth of the matter is not so, especially when they marry people who feel affection and affection towards them. (5)
- Sometimes the child may ask a question you do not have an answer, or your answer may not be suitable for their age. So in this situation it is important to recognize that you do not know the answer and that you will seek and answer the question and do so.
- In general, do not give the child detailed answers accurate at the beginning of the talk, but the child answered the first does not increase the parents in the talk, but if completed questions must be answered, that means that he is willing to learn more, but without directing the child to stop asking, On the contrary, stimulating the question is positive.
In the end, what really separates the preparation and the information that the parents are trying to prepare for is the practical application of this information. How does the father tell his child that respect is the basis of the relationship while he hits his wife or the mother tells him that mutual love is a duty in the relationship The father's behavior in front of his child, the behavior of parents as an example is the main factor and the main engine in the child's psyche, and example another face of honesty, keeping both with children is the basis of the family relationship sound, lying can ensure that the vast psychological distances between the family members.