Love: these five everyday tips to make your couple last longer

Gauthier Delomez 8:00 p.m., September 15, 2022

Some say love lasts three years.

So that a relationship has every chance of lasting over time, Soazig Castelnérac and Marylise Richard give many tips in a book, 

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The founder of the "Save your love date" application and the clinical psychologist came to address this theme on the program

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Together, they give simple life tips to help couples keep the flame alive.

The three words to say regularly

The priority in the couple relationship is communication.

According to Soazig Castelnérac, there are three essential words to say regularly: thank you, sorry and I love you.

"These three words have incredible strength when they are put at the heart of the life of a couple", she explains at the microphone of Julia Vignali and Mélanie Gomez.

Forgiveness must be desacralized.

"When you feel that you've offended, or that you haven't had the right attitude ... If we don't do it for the little things, for the more important things, it's more complicated", details t -she.

>> Find all the shows of Mélanie Gomez and Julia Vignali from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. on Europe 1 in replay and podcast here

For Marylise Richard, the word I love you "must not be said spontaneously. You really have to say it fully, with awareness, as if to kiss each other".

"You have to pay attention, and there is never an obligation to answer I love you. You have to be able to say it when you want to and when you feel it fully," says the therapist.

Keep a positive tension

On a daily basis, it is also necessary to keep a positive tension in the couple, "in particular a tension of seduction", advocates Soazig Castelnérac.

"You have to say to yourself: if it was the first time today, what would I do to seduce?", She assures on Europe 1, evoking the example "of a pschitt of perfume "before reuniting with his partner.

"You always have to have the notion of how the other looks at us", adds the founder of the "Save your love date" application.

The use of sexts can also contribute to this positive tension of seduction.

"What I like very much is to make an appointment", underlines Soazig Castelnérac.

"From Monday to Saturday, we increase the pressure, the intensity when we meet. The little sext, for that, it's very good (...). It's really these little messages that are only 'love."

Postpone a hot discussion

A couple also goes through periods of conflict.

“To solve our problems, we will create a framework and a favorable context to be able to meet and exchange in a calm way”, explains Marylise Richard, who sweeps the explanation between the two spouses in bed.

"If we're already under tension, what's going to come out is going to be aggressive and won't be relevant. You have to put off some things: 'I really don't agree with what happened tonight, it's 'It's important that we can talk about it'."

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This shows that the couple is "solid", supports the clinical psychologist.

"We don't agree, it doesn't matter. We're going to take some time to talk about it because it's important," she said.

Postponing the discussion also allows time to reflect.

Praise each other when performing an action together

To promote a romantic union, it is important to stay united, to team up with your partner, as the founder of the "Save your love date" application highlights.

"In everyday life, there is the idea of ​​being two. How do we share the tasks? Where am I most competent? What could we do together? is as much in everyday life as for preparing for holidays, Christmas celebrations or even a move", lists Soazig Castelnérac.

It is a real "team building" of the couple, like the professional environment.

"Afterwards, you have to know how to congratulate yourself, say to yourself 'frankly, on this one, we were good, take the time to say it to yourself,' she adds.

"It values ​​the couple as a separate entity."

Do not hesitate to talk about sexuality

Finally, one of the main sources of tension within a couple concerns sexuality, which can become routine.

To revive it, Marylise Richard believes that it is necessary "to talk about it first. Many couples do not even discuss their sexuality", reports the therapist, "so I don't see how we could solve something that we don't talk about not".

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For this, the psychologist evokes a few turns of phrase that lend themselves well.

"We project our fears. 'Right now, I'm not sexually fulfilled, I don't feel comfortable, it's complicated for me...' That doesn't mean the couple is rotten,” she says.

"The discussion will be opened much more easily," promises Marylise Richard.

In reality, for Soazig Castelnérac, you have to make “your couple a priority, have a couple awareness, and say to yourself” my couple, above all “.

Everything will come out of it."