A bicycle accident! It won't be so bad, I thought after my wife called. She said it herself - and then cycled on to her appointment. Then the second call: “I think I have to go to the doctor.” A little later the third phone call: “a fracture of the radial head.” In German: a broken arm. Painful, but also limiting. We soon asked ourselves: How is it supposed to work as a one-armed person with a working partner? It's not just emotionally difficult when you suddenly can't pick up your child without any problems. It quickly became clear that, for once, Mom wouldn't be able to do that with her own hands.

But the government has made provisions for exactly such cases with health insurance: alone at home with a broken arm and a baby in diapers, my wife was entitled to help in everyday life. The doctor initially prescribed two hours a week. A joke, but still. But unfortunately it's just theory. Because being right and doing what is right are two different things here too. Caregivers are in short supply, as every child knows.

Even in the country's second-largest city, the supply situation with household and nursing help is so poor that all we received from our calls to various nursing services was the promise: "We'll call you back." After that, we never heard anything again. This is not an accusation against all the people who help professionally. She is not to blame. But that doesn't make it any better.

By 2049, Germany is expected to have a shortage of 280,000 to 690,000 nursing staff. The undersupply results from the increasing number of people in need of care, the wages and working conditions in care as well as the changes in home care. Just so we understand each other, I support better pay for the people who will probably have to help all of us at some point.

Fortunately, our personal care crisis went smoothly. We quickly decided to handle things differently. I was able to take a short vacation and then my mother-in-law visited us. She enjoys doing it, even though she has limited health and lives 600 kilometers away. So it wasn't all that bad, apart from my wife's pain and the bitter realization that I was on my own.

Unfortunately, it is nothing new that private networks have to absorb what our social system can no longer support. When I experienced it myself, I was still sobered - and once again grateful for my family, even for my mother-in-law (just kidding, I love her).

But many people don't have these options. Because their partners cannot simply take time off, because they are single parents, because their relatives cannot step in, or because they may not even know what they are entitled to due to a language barrier. I can hardly imagine how these people cope with such emergencies.

How is it by you? What are you grateful for, what misfortunes have brought your family closer together? Write to me at: familie@spiegel.de.

My reading tips

I don't think sex shops are exciting. These little shops, which are difficult to see from the outside, can be found in almost every major city. Things used to be different in the East. Behind the Iron Curtain there might have been nudism, but no sex products, at least not officially. After the fall of communism, the shops popped up like mushrooms. The historian Jens Schöne visited some of them and wrote a book about them. In the interview, he talks, among other things, about the prejudice that women under socialism had better sex. That in turn is exciting.

Stresses from the past are like heavy packages that we carry around with us. But often there is something positive to be found in them. In our coaching “Gain Confidence” you will learn how to train this. And the best? It costs nothing except time.

We are currently planning our vacation, the first with a baby on the plane. In this respect, I was curious about the text “Holidays with children – this combination of words is forbidden”. I don't think the author Marlene Hellene is right about everything. But what do I know? As I said, first big vacation and all. At best your text is a funny collection of holiday anecdotes, at worst I will report something similar soon. Anyway, I had to smile while reading it.

The Last Judgement

Meteorologically and calendarically, spring is here, but practically not - a similar situation to ours with the household help. That's why I recommend Mouclade as your nerve nourishment this week. This French clam chowder is like a transitional jacket, it works well on cold days but works just as well on summer ones. It tastes creamy, spicy, fresh and is cooked quickly.

My moment

You may remember that we've talked about enjoying music with children a few times at this point. The editorial team received further letters about this, which I would not like to withhold from you.

"It was really great to find out that other parents are also crazy enough - I mean brave enough, of course - to take their children to the opera or a concert

," Anastasia Peitz wrote to us. Her daughter and son were already at the opera when they were less than a year old. The family now goes regularly and is never looked at badly because of it.

"I'm very excited to see when other styles of music will come to us, but I think some classical music will still remain

," writes Ms. Peitz.

The boys, on the other hand, love heavy metal. This has two consequences: Firstly, the two children (six and eight) now mainly listen to metal.

"Our children are really into it and are big fans of Versengold and D'Artagnan

," the family wrote to me. Secondly, the children attend festivals with their parents. Completely free and warmly welcomed, I was assured. The metal scene is absolutely child-friendly. So the question may not be whether to go to concerts with small children, but rather which ones.

Have a good new week!

Yours,

Philipp Löwe