YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES
In the 1980s, Sylvie, now 62, made the choice to adopt two children. His relationship with Sabrina, his eldest daughter is fusional. Until she announces her marriage with her new husband, Robert. It has been several years since the two women have more contact, as it tells Olivier Delacroix on Thursday.
"She felt dispossessed of her mom"
"In 2003, when Robert started living with me, Sabrina changed, I think she took umbrage and thought that Robert was taking a part of my heart, and even if she had become a mother and she was not more at home, I felt that she relaxed the bonds, although she always left me her daughters and that she talked a lot with me.And in 2007, at the announcement of our marriage, it was definitely the abandonment in his mind and in his heart, I did not understand his reactions.
>> From 15h to 16h, share your life experiences with Olivier Delacroix on Europe 1. Find the replay of the show here
There were no requests from him, but codes that I did not know how to evaluate. She was herself in trouble in her relationship, I was present as much as she asked, I was going to meet her as often as possible, as before, but she dug the space between her and me because she felt deprived of her mother with the arrival of Robert. Abandoned at the orphanage, abandoned when I removed her from the orphanage with my husband, she felt abandoned again ...
"What was missing was the dialogue"
We asked for a family mediation, since she stopped giving us children to keep. And she said to me: 'I will not talk to you until the day you get divorced', 'I'm going to rot your life', and 'you've only been my nurse, now I'm going to call you Sylvie' It was stabbing, I thought she was angry, like any child, that I had to hear her anger, but I did not know how to defuse that. was the dialogue, I was ready, but she was falling back and no longer wanted this dialogue, but I think it would have been necessary to reassure her.
It is painful on both sides because the mediation has remained unanswered. Our lawyer told us to see if a move to the court would clear up the situation. Things only got worse because she felt attacked. And when we talk about the opposite party to designate his child, it hurts a lot. In particular, I had to prove by attestations that I was a good mother and a good grandmother. It's painful ... It must have been for her too.
"I hope my granddaughters will come back to us little by little"
Today, I tell myself that I sowed love, I hope to harvest it, even if the harvest is late. The time is not catching up, but now Sabrina has five children, three of whom I do not know. Next year, Léa, the eldest, will be of age. She has been very present in our lives, because Sabrina has left us a lot. I hope that all will return little by little to us, if only out of curiosity to know this grandma they have not known or they have lost sight of. They are in their childhood, in the construction of their adolescence and their life with their mother. I wish they were happy, but there is a lack, because the roots, what grandparents can bring, is essential to building a child. "
His new spouse, Robert, is in much the same situation with his son, who gives him no news of his granddaughters. At the microphone of Olivier Delacroix, he also testifies.
"My son, from one day to the next, it was total silence, I think it's probably related to my marriage, the fact that his mother has very badly experienced the separation, I do not know, (...) There was never an explanation, and when we invited him to our wedding in 2007, he called and said he would not come in. I told him that I could understand. to say that his daughters had been baptized, and I told him that he would have been able to warn me, that it was not normal to act like that, he hung up, and since then I have no news, I do not even know where he lives, I do not know where he works ...
I do not really blame him, but I strongly regret that attitude. I saw it differently because there was no aggression while Sabrina strongly assaulted her mother, including on the street, including by unwanted phone calls, including messages on Facebook, which is not not the case of my son.
But it made us particularly close with Sylvie. And the love I have for him has never been stronger than during this difficult time. "