17 days later, my mother appeared in my dream: ``It's too late, but thank you.'' February 15th, 18:21

The smile on my mother's face as she made osechi for my father and me on New Year's Day.

It was on January 18th, 17 days after the earthquake, that my mother appeared in a dream.

After a long conversation, my mother said,

She said, ``It's okay for me, so please do your best.''

After she woke up, she couldn't stop crying when she realized that she would never see her again.

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“A day with nothing special”

It really was a normal New Year's Day.

My father and mother woke up in the morning and ate ozoni first, and since I had already slept through the New Year, I slept until about evening.

Even after I woke up, my mother came down from the second floor and prepared dinner, and we ate it.It was a really nothing special day.

What I ate was the ozoni that my mother made. It was delicious, wasn't it?

I don't think you'll hear much about our zoni anywhere else, but it's boiled mochi and topped with red bean paste. That's been a staple since I was a child.

I think this is normal, so I once had a feast at a friend's house and couldn't believe it was like this.

The conversation was about my sister's niece who is married and living in Tokyo, and who is going to elementary school this year.

``It's getting bigger and bigger.''

That was the last conversation my mother and I had.

Ryoma Miyamoto (38) of Wajima City lost his mother Chieko (66), who lived with him, when his house collapsed in the Noto Peninsula earthquake on January 1st.

Three members of his family, including his father, Kazuyuki (65), were spending time at home when Ryoma and Chieko were eating zoni and having a sad conversation when the earthquake struck. It means that it was received.

In this article, I will write what Mr. Miyamoto told the reporter in the words ``I'' = Mr. Miyamoto.

"I don't have a mom."

That moment, at 4:10 p.m., after preparing my meal and talking about my niece, I saw my mother leave the kitchen.

The lights and TV suddenly went black, and there was a violent lateral shaking.

I couldn't stand up, so I crouched down there, holding my head and not being able to think of anything. In my heart, I thought to myself, ``I might have died,'' and felt like giving up.

The shaking finally subsided.

When I looked around, I saw that the roof had fallen on me, but I was stuck near the kitchen table and TV stand, and there was enough space for me to stand by myself.

When I looked up, I saw a hole in the ceiling, and I could see light leaking through it.

Then I heard my father's voice from outside.

Father: ``Are

you okay?'' Me: ``I'm fine.''

Father: ``Are you there?''

Me: ``No, you're not here. Isn't she over there?''

Father: ``You're not here either.''

I'm at the TV stand. I put my feet on the edge of the corner, climbed onto the roof using only my strength, crawled out of the hole, and joined my father.

"Maybe I'm just unconscious."

When I found out that my mother wasn't there, my father and I continued to head toward the house, calling out to our mother, "Hey, mom."

I thought I'd start by thinking about where I am.

At the end, I saw her back as she left the kitchen, so I guess she was blown away by the shock of the shaking and ended up at the front door.

If I were to call out to him, he might just be unconscious right now, so I'm wondering if he'd respond somehow when he regains consciousness.

Ever since the earthquake happened, I've been calling out to people in front of my house.

Maybe I'd hear some noise and find out where it was, so I kept trying to look around the house even after it got dark.

My father was the first to call the fire department.

But my mother didn't hear any screams when the shaking occurred, so I wonder how many other people were buried alive in the same collapse and were told to give priority to those who could hear their voices. Even after waiting, emergency personnel did not come.

Afterwards, the police came and looked at the condition of the house, and they said, ``It's not that bad, but they can't find it without using heavy equipment.''

So I thought, ``Today, I have no choice but to give up.'' That was around 8pm.

I never wondered why they didn't prioritize us. If there is someone else who can help, of course I would like them to give priority.

I tried to imagine only positive things, like the ones you often see on TV, where a person is unconscious and is miraculously rescued and then comes back to life.

``I'm sure she'll be okay. Even if she doesn't get rescued until later, she's a persistent mother, so she'll definitely be safe.'' I

thought strongly as I left my destroyed home and went to an evacuation center where I spent the rest of my time.

"We found your mother."

The next day, I returned home with my father in the morning and continued to call out to him.

I kept calling out to them and just as I was in a hopeless situation, 5 or 6 members of the Self-Defense Forces came to my house and started searching.

I told them all the places I could think of, and they tore up the floor and looked for me, but I couldn't find them anywhere.

It was found around 3:00 to 4:00 in the evening, about a day later.

A member of the Self-Defense Forces called me and said, ``Mom has been found.''

It was found where the stairs were.

I had finished preparing dinner, so I guess I was thinking of going upstairs and watching TV in the same room as my father.

When my mother was found, she was really beautiful. She always looked like she did when she was sleeping, and I thought she would open her eyes and wake up as soon as I called her.

``That's a lie!'' ``This is definitely a dream!''

All kinds of emotions exploded and I just cried out. I cried too, and it was the first time I had ever seen my father cry like that.

“I want to raise you again.”

For me, she was a very serious mother who was strict, yet kind.

When I was little, I often got scolded for playing pranks, but when I got a good score on a test or helped someone, he would praise me to the point that I felt embarrassed.

The last time I received a compliment was towards the end of last year.

When the road became icy and slippery, someone fell and got injured.

When I told her mother that I happened to see the person and called an ambulance, her mother was like, ``That's not something you can do,'' and she said, ``I'm proud of her.''

I remember my 38-year-old son saying something like this to me.

I think it was like he was trying to bring out the best parts of the person without denying them.

I truly love children and worked as a childcare worker in Tokyo when I was in my 20s.

When I got married, I moved to Wajima City and took a break from work for a while, but a few years ago I started working part-time at a nursery school in the city.

He loved her so much that he said

, ``Babies are cute after all. I want to raise you again from scratch.''

My father and I, together as much as possible.

After that, no one came to collect my mother's body for a while, so I placed my mother's body in a place that wouldn't collapse in the house.

My father and I pulled out futons and other things we could use from the house, returned to the evacuation center, and spent some time in a lethargic state.

My father and I don't really talk much, but I feel like we talked together on the rare occasions we did, and we spent as much time together as possible.

Sometimes we would go to the house and check on my mother. I looked at her face, cried, and put my hands together, over and over again.

At that time, I was still thinking that maybe I would somehow come back to life, and I wanted to think only about things in a positive direction, but each time I felt sad.

"It's too late, but thank you."

After about a week, I still had to survive, so I tried to force myself to behave as usual. It's sad, but I felt like I was trying to hide my feelings and forced myself to live my life.

And, I still remember the date, but on the 18th of January, my late mother appeared in my dream, although it may have been my desire to do so.

I had heard that she appeared in the dreams of relatives around me. But he never came out to us, and even my father said, ``He won't come out at all.''

We had a really useless conversation as usual.

There was a stuffed animal that her mother treasured when she was alive and said, ``When she died, she would put this in her coffin too,'' but due to the circumstances, she couldn't find it. is. So it didn't go according to her mother's will.

In her dream, I asked her, ``Did you find that stuffed animal?'' and her mother said, ``I couldn't find it either.''

My mother said in her usual tone, ``If it comes out, I'll keep it there for a while, so please take good care of it with me.''

At the very end, it was the moment when I woke up from my dream.

Her mother said with her usual smile.

``It's okay for me, so please do your best.''

When she woke up around 4 a.m., she couldn't stop crying.

As she cried, she cursed and said, ``It's too late,'' and then the words came out of her mouth, ``Thank you for coming anyway.''

It may have been my wish, but I like to think that her mother came to see me in the end. She was the type of person who would get angry if I messed with her, so I think she came here to yell at me. Although I feel sad, my heart feels much lighter.

I thought I probably wouldn't see her again for a while, and since that day, my mother hasn't appeared in my dreams at all.

Her mother lost her life in this earthquake, but I was lucky to survive. Now that I've survived, I'm determined not to dwell on looking backwards forever, but to look forward and do what I can, step by step.

However, what I do regret is the last zoni I ate.

Actually, I couldn't eat it all. Just as I was about to finish eating the last two or three bites, an earthquake hit and the whole bowl was gone.

If I had known that it was my mother's cooking that I would never be able to eat again, I would have just popped whatever I could get into my mouth, even if it had fallen.

I wanted to eat as much as I could and say to my girlfriend's mother, ``Thank you for the meal.''

(Natsumi Okamoto, Noto Peninsula earthquake reporting team)

(Broadcast on “News 7” on February 14th)

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