Amman -
Acquiring table manners from an early age is important, in order to inculcate elegant and polite behavior in children, and to spare them embarrassing situations, and to ensure that they deal with themselves and others in an attractive manner, by behavior or saying, even with the closest people to them.
How do parents succeed in teaching their children table manners?
What is the role of these manners in building their personalities?
Is mastering an indicator of the child's mental development?
upbringing style
Etiquette expert, Rama Assaf Al-Assaf, says, "Education at a young age is like engraving in stone, and many behaviors are passed on from parents to children by imitation and imitation. Therefore, parents must be careful to give a model to follow in good treatment, commitment and discipline, and follow a method of upbringing that takes care of all the details, To reach distinguished, unique personalities who are tactful in dealing and good behaviors.
Children must be taught how to use cutlery properly (Pixels)
Al-Assaf believes that teaching children table manners is the responsibility of parents in the first place, by training children in some matters, such as:
Determining a time and place for eating food inside the home, with the aim of developing the concept of respect for time and commitment to it in the child.
Asking for help in organizing the dining table and putting cutlery in its designated place.
Wash hands before going to the dining table.
Determine a seat for the child at the table.
Asking not to sit down and start eating before the whole family is present.
Do not play with cutlery while waiting for food.
Use cutlery properly when eating different types of food.
The child ate his food from the side next to him, without picking what he liked in an annoying way.
In the priority of these manners, teaching the child to chew food while the mouth is closed, without making disturbing sounds and not to speak with his mouth full.
When finished eating, it is advisable for the child to express his thanks for offering and providing food, while helping to put the cutlery that he used in the cleaning place.
Rama Al-Assaf: The benefit of teaching table manners lies in cultivating an acceptable social personality (Al-Jazeera)
Education starts from the age of six
Al-Assaf says, "Teaching the child table manners can start from the age of six, because the child is fully able to eat on his own, even in the absence of his parents, such as when he is at school, for example."
She added, "The benefit of teaching table manners lies in enhancing the characteristics of good behavior and behavior in the different places where the child is, and in cultivating an acceptable social personality that has the qualities of appreciation, participation and cooperation, and respects the freedom of others."
few packages
In order to get the child to adhere to table manners, it is necessary to use a little firmness and a lot of softness accompanying the reinforcement.
In order to maintain the child's continuity of commitment, one must refrain from using the method of threat and intimidation in the event of his transgression, according to Al-Assaf.
She advises parents to prepare the child in advance, by asking him not to disturb him at the table, before going out, banquets and gatherings, while rewarding him if he adheres to that and thanking him for his good behavior.
She adds, "Many parents want their children to behave in a way that keeps them away from embarrassment in front of others. Teaching the child table manners benefits the child, and reflects a good image of the parents as role models that the child acquires their qualities."
Teaching a child table manners is the responsibility of parents in the first place (Pixels)
modeling
For his part, the psychologist and educational behavioral therapist, Malik Al-Shami, says, "Children begin to learn how to distinguish between edible objects and others at about the age of one year, as children then begin to try to imitate their parents in their behaviour, including dealing with food utensils and table manners, or This is called modeling.
And he continues, "Although the development of the fine muscles of children and the proper use of fingers has not yet matured, most children try to eat on their own using the food utensils used by the parents, and in the same way that the parents use."
He points out that at the age of two to three years, children begin to tend to prefer using their own tools within the concept of ownership, random play with food decreases, and children become able to learn table manners directly within the concepts of reinforcement and punishment, in addition to modeling and imitating parents' behavior.
At the pre-school age, we must make sure that children learn table manners in the form of detailed and clear instructions, and repeat them to the child and represent them in front of him and encourage him to do so, according to Al-Shami.
Al-Shami: At the pre-school age, we must ensure that children learn table manners in a detailed and clear manner (Al-Jazeera)
Developmental or mental delay
Al-Shami believes that teaching the child the etiquette of food has positive effects on his personality, skills, dealing with food, and obtaining appreciation and societal reinforcement, which increases his self-esteem and self-confidence. and psychological.
He added, "The delay in learning table manners until school age, especially when it coincides with other symptoms, may indicate a developmental or mental delay in the child. It may be related to emotional and behavioral problems in the child. Therefore, parents can seek the help of counselors and psychologists in diagnosing and identifying the problem." and dimensions, and develop a plan to develop and modify the child's behavior.
Family dining is an ideal starting environment
Under the heading "How to teach table manners to children," the "thenourishedchild" website published rules that parents can use to teach their children.
Age and maturity come with time and practice, and teaching table manners is something you can do every time you sit down with your baby for meals.
Learning etiquette should not be an oppressive or negative experience for a child. Quite the contrary, mealtimes should be fun, supportive and engaging, and family mealtime is the perfect environment to start.
Learning etiquette should not be an oppressive or negative experience for the child (Pixels)
Simple and basic rules
Here are some easy rules for practicing basic table manners:
Turn off appliances:
Food should be eaten at the table with the TV off.
Not only is it forbidden to watch TV during meals, but studies show that watching TV while eating may increase the amount of food your child eats, especially foods high in fat and sugar, such as pizza, fried foods, and fast food.
Asking and Rejecting in a Polite Way:
Children should learn how to ask for food and refuse it politely, and you can teach your child to express his preferences with words such as “please”, “thank you”, “no .. and thank you”.
Chewing food with closed mouth:
Chewing with mouth closed is a difficult task for a very young child, and it may take your child a few years to master chewing and moving food in his mouth while his lips are closed.
So, be patient while pushing your baby towards the chewing target with his mouth closed.
Parents can seek help from specialists in diagnosing a delay in a child's learning and developing a plan to develop his behavior (Pixels).
Not talking with food in the mouth:
This is an extension of the above-mentioned way of eating. It is not pleasant to talk to someone who drops food from their mouth while talking.
Simply ask your child to chew and swallow his food before speaking, and to wait politely for him to do so.
Staying at the table until others have finished:
There is value in teaching your child to wait until others have finished eating.
Of course, you'll need to be realistic about how long your child sits at the table waiting for others to finish, engage him in conversation and excuse him from the table after a reasonable amount of time.
Wipe Usage:
It's natural to want to wipe your baby's face if he's getting messy.
But this is an easy task to teach, and your child may need some hands-on instructions and some gentle nudges at the dinner table.
But with time, your child will learn how to wipe his mouth and keep his fingers and hands clean.