Once when I went to a restaurant to eat, I saw a mother with her child dining with another lady. In order to prevent the child from disturbing the conversation between the two, the mother gave the child a mobile phone as soon as he sat on the dining chair and played a cartoon to entertain the child. look.

　　The child looked at the phone very quietly throughout the meal. When the mother finished chatting and asked the child to eat, the child remained indifferent.

The mother had no choice but to snatch the phone away, but the result was that the child cried loudly in the restaurant.

　　Under the watchful eyes of everyone, the mother had no choice but to hurriedly check out, pack up, and leave with her child in her arms.

　　"Wars for mobile phones" like this are often encountered in public places such as restaurants, parks, hospitals, and high-speed rails.

A mobile phone can calm children down, but it is also a mobile phone that can make the relationship between parents and children extremely chaotic.

　　The use of mobile phones by minors to access the Internet has become a hot topic in recent years.

The "5th National Survey Report on the Internet Usage of Minors" released by the Department for Safeguarding Youth Rights and Interests of the Youth League Central Committee and the China Internet Network Information Center (CNNIC) shows that the number of minor Internet users has exceeded 193 million in 2022, and minors who use mobile phones to access the Internet The proportion of Internet users has remained around 90%.

　　The post-00s and post-10s generation are both “natives” of the Internet. They have grown up with the development of the Internet, and their familiarity and dependence on network technology far exceed that of any previous generation.

But this digital lifestyle also brings some problems.

While the post-00s and post-10s generations enjoy convenience, they also face challenges such as cyberbullying, privacy leaks, and Internet addiction.

Some of them rely too much on the Internet, leading to alienation from interpersonal relationships in real life and even psychological problems.

　　Recently, a research result released by the National Children's Medical Center (Shanghai) and other institutions pointed out that children's mental health risks will greatly increase if they "stare" at the screen for more than one hour a day.

　　During the winter vacation that has just passed, children have more free time and are bored at home. Many children will kill time by browsing their mobile phones. However, it is really difficult to get the mobile phones given away by their parents to get them back.

　　Helpless parents can only grab the mobile phone, grab the mobile phone, or even throw the mobile phone or hide the mobile phone, but how can the children who have been fascinated by the Internet give up, so there is a "war" between parents and children.

　　Some netizens summarized the stages of the “battle for mobile phones” between parents and children:

　　In the first stage, the parents confiscate their mobile phones, and the children demonstrate to their parents and "play" for several days without eating or playing.

　　In the second stage, children begin to find various excuses to use mobile phones, such as checking in and handing in homework.

It is impossible for parents to keep an eye on it at all times. Slowly, the use time is getting longer and longer, from checking in to chatting and then playing games.

　　In the third stage, children regard the "victory fruits" of the previous day as "negotiation chips" for the next day. For example, if they played for two hours yesterday, they will ask for at least two hours today, and the playing time will become longer and longer.

　　In the fourth stage, when a parent gets angry and says, "I don't care about you anymore," the child happily accepts it and plays a lot, but soon loses control, does not do homework, and stays up late at night to play.

Then it goes back to the first stage, where parents put away their cell phones.

　　In fact, to prevent children from being obsessed with mobile phones and parents to confiscate mobile phones, it is a temporary solution rather than a permanent solution.

The most fundamental solution is for parents to make changes themselves.

　　The "5th National Survey Report on the Internet Usage of Minors" shows that about a quarter of parents believe that they are dependent on the Internet, and the improvement of parents' Internet literacy also needs to be paid attention to.

　　Parents are role models for their children, and their children see everything they do.

In order to prevent children from being obsessed with mobile phones, parents must first restrain their desire to play with mobile phones, try to play with mobile phones in front of their children as little as possible, and make themselves a role model for their children to follow.

　　At the same time, parents should also set rules for their children. For example, from Monday to Friday, it is stipulated that children can look at their mobile phones for one hour a day, and up to three hours on weekends, and strictly follow the rules.

　　You can further stipulate that you should not play with mobile phones in three places at home: first, do not play with mobile phones in bed, as lying down and playing with mobile phones affects your vision and sleep; second, do not play with mobile phones at the dinner table, because playing with mobile phones during meals is not conducive to communication between family members. and communication will also affect digestion; third, don't play with your mobile phone in the toilet, as it will cause a lot of bacteria and waste time.

　　The most important thing is to find a "replacement" for your child's mobile phone.

In fact, children are obsessed with mobile phones because they don’t know that there are other more fun things.

Parents can read with their children, even if they are reading comic books and laughing together, or they can take their children out of the house and play outdoor sports and games with them.

For children, what is more “fun” than mobile phones is parents who accompany their children to play sports and games. Parents are their children’s best playmates.

　　Regarding the problem of children playing with mobile phones, it is better to keep them away than to block them. The behavior of snatching and confiscating mobile phones is due to choking.

What parents can do is to lead by example, set rules and enforce them resolutely.

Only in this way can we truly avoid the "war for mobile phones" and coexist with children correctly with mobile phones.

　　Li Huaxi Source: China Youth Daily

　　Version 05 March 1, 2024