What is "golden child" syndrome and how does it affect your child's development and future?

The “golden child” suffers from the constant pursuit of achievements to please his parents (Shutterstock)

Some parents sometimes make a major educational mistake when they force their children to excel in everything and achieve success at various levels, without realizing that this pressure will cause the children to fall victim to the “golden child” syndrome.

When parents expect too much from their children and give them adult responsibilities; They make their love and affection conditional on meeting those expectations, as this will reflect negatively on the child and will have a number of consequences that will affect his life in the future.

Forcing children to excel and be ideal creates an unsafe environment that prevents the child from expressing himself freely (Shutterstock)

Who is the "golden child"?

The term “golden child” is used to refer to a child in a family who is expected by the parents to be exceptional in everything, to make no mistakes, and to simply be “perfect.”

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Psychiatrist Dr. Ashraf Al-Salhi says, “Some parents force their children to be perfect, which creates an unsafe environment for the child in which he is unable to express his opinions, or is afraid to break the rules. Parents also set high expectations for what the child should do, and what he should do.” "He shouldn't do it, which puts him under a lot of pressure for fear of losing his parents' love."

Al-Salhi attributes the emergence of the “golden child” syndrome to his upbringing in a family system that expected him to be exceptional and successful in everything. “For example, he must achieve full marks in school, and his qualities and personality must be perfect and he must not make any mistakes. Parents usually show exaggerated concern for this child, which makes him feel obligated to fulfill their desires, even if they do not coincide with his own desires and aspirations.” ".

The “golden child” turns into an ideal person in the long run and is exposed to pressure to maintain this image (Shutterstock)

Constant pursuit of achievements

The psychiatrist confirms that the child needs care, love, tenderness, and emotional support in order to grow and develop psychologically, mentally, socially, and physically. “Love must not be conditional; even if the child does not adhere to his parents’ opinions and aspirations, he must be given love and accepted as he is, and his independence and choices must be respected.” Without criticizing him.

The "golden children" usually suffer from their constant pursuit of achievements, according to Al-Salhi, "because it is the only way to gain love and attention from their parents and the constant striving to please them, and the fear of failure. They are more susceptible to anxiety and depression due to the stressful circumstances around them and their desire to achieve success."

He adds, "This causes the child to become confused and disturbed. He is deprived of childhood because he is required to take on adult roles to achieve his parents' dreams. He may become an extension of his narcissistic and controlling parents, turning into an ideal person in the long run, and he is exposed to more pressure to maintain this image."

The syndrome also causes the child to be harsh on himself because he does not accept loss or failure, and tries to do everything to be special, so he exaggerates his self-criticism and has a low or inflated feeling about himself due to excessive praise from his parents.

Al-Salhi emphasizes, “Therefore, parents must set healthy limits and get rid of exaggerated expectations, and give priority to self-care for their child so that he does not grow up with this syndrome, and provide emotional support and separate the child’s identity from the identity of his parents, so that he can make his own choices in what he deems appropriate for him and his desires.” It is necessary to manage emotions, fight shyness, not seek to please people, and seek treatment with the help of psychologists when needed.”

Ashraf Al-Salhi: The child needs the care and affection of his parents, their emotional support and unconditional love (Al-Jazeera)

The danger of excessive idealism

For her part, family relations and educational consultant Maha Bannoura says that a family that raises its children in a strict manner, does not accept their mistakes, and is keen to teach them exemplary or excessive idealism, causes them to “not be able to communicate in a positive way with members of society, because they view them as different from them.” From their point of view."

She explains that this "makes these idealistic children lonely and unable to easily build trust in other people, or engage with them in the school or work environment, or even at the level of the family or neighbors."

Maha Bannoura: A family that raises its children in a strict manner and does not accept mistakes exposes them to “golden child syndrome” (Al Jazeera)

Where does golden child syndrome come from?

Bannoura confirms that the way a child is raised in early childhood is what may cause him to fall victim to the “golden child” syndrome, in addition to the nurturing environment in the family and school.

“It is important when raising our children that we are fully aware of the method we follow in education, because its impact on their lives and their future success in their social relationships will be great, whether on the family, academic or professional levels,” according to the family and educational relations consultant.

Bannoura also points out the need for parents to pay attention to raising children by “instilling values ​​and good manners in them, instilling the value of accepting others, and for parents to be role models and a source of support and love, in addition to motivating them to express their thoughts and feelings from a young age, so that there is positive communication between them as family members.” ".

She explains, "This positive communication, good morals, and positive personality will have a positive impact on the individual's future in the long term, and will be the basis for helping in the process of developing personality and skills without stopping, being let down, or fearing failure."

If the “golden child” does not receive treatment, he or she may have difficulty forming healthy connections with others (Pixels)

A different childhood

Under the title "What happens to the golden child when he grows up?" The Thrive Works website published some possible expectations and tips to help the child overcome them, noting that the “golden child” may face difficulty in forming and maintaining healthy relationships with others if he does not undergo mental health treatment to help him overcome the pressures he faces.

The "golden child" may also face a problem with his constant desire and relentless pursuit to please the people around him.

According to the site, the situations that the “golden child” faces as he grows up are different from those that another person faces, and for this reason, individual mental health treatment is useful in addressing the stress resulting from the syndrome with appropriate help and support.

The “golden child” can learn to set healthy boundaries, understand their value beyond what they offer to others, and form relationships built on true love and affection.

Source: Al Jazeera + websites