To have or not, that is THE question. The absence of orgasm can be a source of doubt, frustration and questioning on the part of both partners. But a sex without orgasm is necessarily missed? Surely not, answers the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc, Friday, in No appointment , the show Health Europe 1. It encourages us to take the time to discover us, to walk, to better let him come.
The question of Pauline, 34
"When I make love with my boyfriend with whom I have been for three months, I have fun but no orgasm, yet it is a very nice relationship and even the best relationship I have had. am I nil? "
Catherine Blanc's answer
"It happens to all women not to have an orgasm until they get there, and they do not do it because they have pretended to be 'too lame, too stupid or incapable' But because they have walked quietly in the discovery of their possibilities, gradually leaving aside their modesty, daring the relationship with a little more interactivity.And what is great is that Pauline says that his It's nice, she's on this road but she's too impatient, we're in a society where we need everything right now.
The orgasm is great but we are in a thing that lasts for a few seconds. Orgasm is a peak that immediately demands to fall back. Pauline would like that moment that escapes him. Outside, she is in a relationship where there is still the need to control, to protect herself from the other, even if she is in love. Quite naturally, the process is done and we surrender as and when.
Is there an age where this letting go is easier?
It is often around 40 years that women are free, for those who have struggled to do it before. They leave behind their studies, their professional proofs, their social registration, their baby, their competence to be mothers, and they arrive at a time when they have made the "proofs" of their capacity. Often, women flog themselves. It takes time for them to 'prove' their skills in all directions, so that all of a sudden they become free. It is also the time of mourning for their fertility. All of a sudden, it becomes a pleasurable fertility.
Men either do not let go like that. Some ejaculate too fast, others take time, others can not even ejaculate, others lose their erection while they crave their partner ... It's complicated and it's so moving that it is. We are not war machines. It is because it is complicated that everyone can be sensitive to each other, without falling into the guzardie, the accusation of the other.