The fantasy of the threesome is widespread. If the number of couples who materialize this desire remains relatively low, it is partly because many men only consider threesomes with two women. This is the case of Clementine's spouse, who wonders why this condition is so important. In "Sans Rendez-vous" this Monday, sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc explains that this gives a feeling of omnipotence.
Clementine's question
The other evening, I asked my boyfriend if he would like to make a threesome, just out of curiosity. He said yes, but only if the third person is a woman. It did not surprise me. Why do men fantasize so much about having two women in bed for them.
Catherine Blanc's response
The idea of two women is more attractive most of the time, simply because there is no competition and there is the superhero. Two women fighting over my body and my cock is the ultimate, wonderful fantasy. Simply do not be anxious about the idea of having to provide for the needs of both.
But in the idea, there is an idea of formidable omnipotence which prefers that than the comparison with another body, with another penis, with another skill and can also be disturbed by a connotation which could suggest a homosexuality that should not be revealed if necessary. It does not mean that everyone will go in this direction but it is generally the idea.
>> Find all the sex questions in replay and podcast here
Isn't there a form of arrogance in wanting to satisfy two women?
Of course there is omnipotence, but in sexuality there is a form of omnipotence. This also allows, instead of satisfying one, to pass from one to another is also the excuse of not having achieved something with the first.
In a way it is to play the almighty, desired by all, running from right to left, not being able to finish of course, which only allows the arrogance of omnipotence. But in our fantasies, we have a lot of arrogance, this is not the case when we reflect on things in a relationship. In our fantasies it goes a little in the very narcissistic individual sense.
Is the fear of comparison the fear that the woman prefers the other?
The comparison is either to compare with the other or via the other to be compared by feeling that something is playing out. Some people will like it because there is something about voyeurism but there is also the idea that we could lose the link with our partner.
That said, the person asking the question, she asks it to see if she is potentially in danger and if her companion might want another woman than her but it is also a way to introduce his own desire. So it is to see if her man will answer "but not my darling there is only you", so there she is at least fixed on this subject without being very surprised protester. Or it was a way for her to evoke the possibility of going elsewhere but guaranteed by the authorization of her partner.
Would a woman also prefer two men?
Women are like men, in their delirium of omnipotence they also want to have two men, to satisfy two men, to be wanted by two men, to be disputed even by two men. This being obviously, after all depends on the formula, it can also be very anxiety-provoking. If it is to be a recipient of all fantasies, it can be rather scary, whereas in a female presence there is something of the hug, softness, voyeurism also that is satisfied, but still a times the opportunity to compare and suffer from this comparison.
Is it better to keep this fantasy as a fantasy?
We have the right, we fantasize very twisted stuff often. When we have fun, we express them, we don't feel judged all that is a very good thing. Afterwards, living them, we have to make sure that we are well in tune with this freedom, that we are ready to always say stop if necessary when we no longer feel this momentum there. Because indeed, we can burn our wings and have the feeling that all of a sudden we opened a breach and that the relationship was suddenly weakened. So it is always with vigilance, all fantasies are indeed not good to be lived.