Translation Introduction
The family does not gather in one basic meal a day as it happens in Ramadan, and the main reason behind this is the fixed time for Iftar unlike normal daily meals, but there are festive reasons as well, Ramadan for most people is not only a month of worship and closeness to God, but also an occasion for celebration, in which people exchange visits as well as congratulations. All of this reminds us of a great "grace" that we may not pay attention to, which is eating together, gathered together in love and joy, which is of great importance, as Cody Delstrati of the Atlantic explains in this article, which we found to be of great importance in reminding ourselves of this important habit, which we must not leave after Ramadan.
Translation text
After my mother left life and my brother left to study in New Zealand, a new wind blew over my life, and the first thing I felt radically different about was the dining table. My father and I started eating separately. Sometimes we went out to dinner with our friends, other times we ate sandwiches in front of computers, or pizzas while watching movies.
There were days when we rarely saw each other, but a few weeks before I was ready to leave home and go to university, my father stepped downstairs and said, "You know! I think we should start eating together even if there is no one else at home, if your mother was here she would want to." The meals we prepared were not surprising, and these times aroused deep longing for my mother and brother. However, a new and special impulse has been deep within me for this time I have dedicated to my parents.
My father's time was a form of medication, an excuse to reflect on our days and recent events, and our simple, mundane conversations about baseball or television often led us to serious discussions about politics, death, memories and loss in our lives. Although eating together was a simple act that required only 45 minutes to spend a day free from the distractions and pressures of life, this act was always very emotional and one of the happiest parts of my day. Sadly, we are witnessing the state of our time, as individuals in American society (or in any society) rarely gather for a single meal to share with family.
Food in the time of haste
The idea of eating alone is an experience that may feel alienated or isolated, as the dining table plays a role in uniting people and gathering them in one place to communicate. (Shutterstock)
The average person eats one in five meals in their car, one in four eat at least one fast food meal every day, and most American families report sharing only one meal every five days. It is unfortunate that most people miss out on what would be considered valuable and precious time with family, as stopping eating together leads to dire consequences both physically and psychologically. An analysis by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), using data from nearly three-quarters of the world's countries, found that students who do not regularly share meals with their parents are more likely to miss school.
The International Program for Student Assessment (PISA), a test conducted by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) to assess the performance of fifteen-year-old school students, showed that the average absenteeism rate worldwide is nearly 15%, while this percentage rose to about 30% when students reported that they often did not share meals with their families. This brings us to the more important question: how can we eat better? And here we are talking not only from a nutritional perspective as much as we are talking from a psychological perspective as well.
One study presented at the European Obesity Congress in Bulgaria showed that children who did not dine with their parents at least twice a week were 40% more likely to be overweight compared to their peers who enjoyed regular meals with their family. Another study by the National Center on Drug Addiction and Drug Abuse at Columbia University found that children who eat meals with their parents five or more days a week have fewer problems with drugs and drinking, eat healthier, excel academically, and feel closer to their parents than their peers who have fewer meals with their parents.
The meals we eat out are almost all less healthy than homemade foods, and are often high in fat, salt and calories. (Shutterstock)
There are two main reasons for these dire consequences associated with not eating meals with our family: The first is that simply when we eat out, especially in cheap fast food stores, or other places to eat most children, we are not inclined to eat healthy meals, as Michael Bolan, one of the world's most famous nutrition writers, wrote in his latest book, "Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation" (Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation). Pollan points out in his book that meals we eat out are almost all less healthy than homemade foods, and are often high in fat, salt and calories.
The other reason is that the idea of eating alone is an experience that may make you feel alienated or isolated, the dining table plays a role in uniting individuals and gathering them in one place to communicate, and sharing food with those we love is an acceptable justification for joining a company that humanizes our unity and dispels the brutality of our days by exchanging news and conversations with them, and those times that are pleasant to souls are one of the rare occasions in which people are happy to put aside their work and take some time from their day to enjoy company that eases the burden of their days, Because we rarely allow ourselves to enjoy anything at the expense of productivity.
In many countries, mealtime is sacred, for example, in France it is acceptable to eat alone, but it is not acceptable to eat it in a hurry. Frantically eating or chewing food in public places, such as the metro, can draw arrows of frowned glances, so employees are given at least an hour for lunch. In many Mexican cities, for example, townspeople gather with friends and family in parks or city squares to eat together, and the same happens in Cambodia (Southeast Asia), where villagers spread colorful mats or rugs to share meals with loved ones in a banquet-like atmosphere.
In her book Eating Together, Alice Gulière argues that eating together can radically change people's perspectives, because it alleviates people's feelings of inequality. (Social Media)
In her book Eating Together, Alice Gulière argues that eating together can radically change people's perspectives because it reduces people's feelings of inequality, for example with diners of different races, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds looking at others with a greater equality than they would in other social contexts. In 1950, Elizabeth David became known as one of the most important American chefs whose recipes are emotional (such as the famous American chef Alice Waters, and David Leibovitz, the bestseller of our time), and published a book on Mediterranean food.
In this book, Elizabeth argues that great food is simple food, and the best food is not necessarily the food served by fancy or trending restaurants, on the contrary, a simple basic meal that you enjoy with your loved ones is the best meal ever. "Under the shade of the lemon grove, I cut a slice of bread, dripped it with some of the attractive and flavorful olive oil, then emptied into Jovi a glass of my favorite drink," she wrote in one of the most striking passages, and I was reminded at this moment of what the British novelist Norman Douglas said when he wrote that whoever helped us expand our perceptions by giving meaning to everything around us deserves our gratitude forever."
But for families who spend a lot of money on junk food, as well as on groceries, the simplicity that Elizabeth pointed out is not easily attained, and the root of this problem is cultural misconceptions. In America, for example, spending time joining family and having a good meal with them seems akin to appearing ostentatious. So the American painter Norman Rockwell's painting of the family wrapped around the dinner table is no longer closer to the middle class now than to the bourgeoisie.
The crisis of the age
(Shutterstock)
Many families cannot afford a parent to fall behind by staying at home and spending the day cleaning and grilling meat and potatoes for their husband and children, as most parents do not have time to cook, many of them are not good at cooking, and the idea that one should spend more money and time to buy products from stores instead of replacing them with a box full of Chinese takeaway may seem impractical and unnecessary and leave the impression of some ostentation.
It's understandable, of course, that you want to save time and money, which is exactly why small stores stopped operating as soon as Walmart (an American multinational retailer, a chain of discounted supermarkets, supermarkets, and department stores) appeared. But what we may not realize in such a case is that the store owner will not suffer or face problems as much as the consumer who relies on unhealthy and fast food will.
So how do we adopt a better way to eat not only from a nutritional perspective, but also from a psychological perspective? François de la Rochefouculd, a seventeenth-century French writer, once wrote, "Eating food is a necessity, but eating it intelligently is art." If we discuss what "intelligence" means in the context of food, we discover that it is a controversial issue. There are those who are obsessed with food, eating it only if it is organic, and possessing a vague desire to give the cooking process a "authentic" character, a group known in the United States as "foodies" and in France called "le fooding", and this group belongs mostly to the wealthy class, and its members are sometimes characterized by being selective and picky. But none of this was closer to the term "intelligence" referred to by the French writer de la Rochefoucauld.
Perhaps if we see eating as an opportunity to release the stress we are under and reconnect with those we love, it may help our children improve their school outcomes. (Shutterstock)
Perhaps what La Rochefoufold meant by the phrase "eat smart" is that all one needs to do is eat in the company of others. While eating healthy food will be a good option, junk food can also be sufficient and very psychologically satisfying as long as you eat it in the comfort of family or with roommates or friends. Despite our busy schedules, we often set aside time to go to the cinema or gym, while shunning meals with the family, citing not enough time. But perhaps if we stop treating mealtime as just an appointment in our busy schedules, and instead see it as an opportunity to release the stress we are under and reconnect with those we love, it may help our children improve their school results, and a healthy meal at home will also help us achieve a slim figure or look better, not to mention reducing the likelihood of drug and alcohol use. Eating together plays a guiding role in children's lives by building a better relationship with their parents, and the same goes for adults.
The night before I left home to complete my studies, I went with my father to our favorite restaurant in my hometown of Sichuan, China, where we always order the same food, but even after 60 years of enjoying life on the planet, and eating countless dinners there, my father still finds it difficult to use chopsticks properly. So, I offered him help and began to explain to him, holding the two food sticks, how necessary it was to hold one of them well, while moving the other stick to pick up the food. Meanwhile, the waiter came and gave us another bowl of rice to try my father again. Then I saw my father nodding and holding chopsticks neatly between his fingers, telling me, "I think I understand it now. Each of these chopsticks plays an individual role, but for your food not to fall off, you have to use both, aren't you right?" I smiled at my lips and said, "Exactly, I think you're right."
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Translation: Somaya Zaher
This report is translated from The Atlantic and does not necessarily reflect Meydan's website.