Erja couldn't sleep that night ten years ago, as if she sensed something was wrong.
The 24-year-old son Mikael had been feeling unwell after a separation and had recently received anti-depressant medication.
But he was such a person who fought and he had many friends.
- It is hard to imagine that such a person disappears in that way.
Afterwards she felt guilty.
What if she had asked him straight out: Are you having thoughts of taking your life?
- Now I know that it is good to ask the question.
But it was not in our world that he would do that.
Had to seek help ourselves
When the policemen left the death warrant, there was chaos in both the head and the body almost immediately.
The police offered to pick up Mikael's two brothers, but Björn and Erja did not receive any help in contacting care.
They had to find out for themselves, eventually.
- What was missing was the support from society and care.
It was non-existent ten years ago.
It has gotten a few millimeters better today, but not much, says Björn.
"Never goes away but it gets better"
Two years after Mikael died, Björn and Erja got in touch with the association Spes, where all members have lost someone who has taken their own life.
The association organizes activities, support weekends, meetings and there is also a national helpline.
In the clip, Björn and Erja talk about the grieving process and what the conversation group has meant to them. Nowadays, both are conversation leaders.