H. discovered pornography in early adolescence. His consumption, become daily with the arrival of online viewing platforms, eventually upset his love life and have consequences on his libido. At the microphone of Olivier Delacroix, on Europe 1, he chose to tell anonymous story to get rid of this addiction.
"I started at the age of 13 by accidentally stumbling on a VHS tape from my brother, feeling disgusted and excited at the same time, fascinated by it. In 2006, with the appearance of pornography streaming sites, accessible in unlimited and free, my consumption became daily.
[...]
There was this trance where we are in search of the perfect scene to have orgasm, it can last for hours. [it was a way] to escape [my] problems, to reality.
[...]
It was also a way to sleep at night. I was going on it. It was a false way, with an anesthetic side, because I am someone of anxious and stressed nature. It was a kind of medicine for me.
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Soon, this obsession with pornography began to impact his love life ...
With my first girlfriend, I had erection problems. At first I did not make the link with porn. I went on the net. I started looking and saw that it could be the cause of my erection problems.
Having consumed a lot of porn, I had a lot of images in mind, hard pictures. My girlfriend did not excite me as much as the movies. I was hiding to see these films. I felt guilty for not telling him. It weighed on me. I felt helpless ... in every sense of the word.
In 2016, H. finally decided to take control and start a weaning.
I learned a lot about the subject, I read books about psychology. I've also seen videos on the Internet of people who have been weaned, mostly Americans. There are many American people who approach this subject, while it remains very taboo in France.
I stopped my consumption. I began to notice things that could cause me to relapse: bad thoughts, negative emotions, emotional triggers or even things I could see on TV like ultra-sexual rap clips. All that, I stopped.
I went to a forum where I could discuss it. The key is not to be alone. When one is alone, one has this shame, and the important thing is to break this shame, to break the isolation, to talk about it.
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Freed from his addiction, he knows, however, that she will continue to hover over him for a long time, like a sword of Damocles ...
I feel very good. I'm always vigilant about it, like an alcoholic who will not drink light beer. [...] I accepted this fault in me. [...] I am fragile for life, I accepted my weaknesses to move forward, to improve myself and then to keep a balance.
With my partner, the sexual relations are going very well. I also have a little boy. We are very close."
The opinion of the expert
The addiction to pornography is a variant of sexual addiction, as explained to Europe 1 Laurent Karila, addictologist at the hospital Paul-Brousse Villejuif. "There are different forms of addiction in sexual addiction, and among these forms, we have online sexual activities, including pornography streaming on the Internet," he notes. "The availability of sexual media on the Internet has exploded sexual addictions," observes this specialist.
For him, the symptoms of an addiction must meet the "rules of 5 c": "a continuous use with compulsions, a craving (English term that means an irresistible urge to consume, ed ), a loss of control and physical and social consequences ". The addiction generally betrays a disturbance of brain development at the time of puberty, it can be favored by the genetic field of the subject, explains Laurent Karila. The obsession in itself can also be accompanied by psychological disorders "like being more depressed or anxious."