Family harmony between grandparents, their children and their grandchildren is not a problem, of course, according to Andrea Hagen-Harvey, an adviser at the German Association of Midwives. "Young parents sometimes feel that they have many expectations from their grandparents and categorically reject their unwanted advice and parental instructions," he says.
The desire to play an active role in the lives of grandchildren is a relatively new phenomenon.
"People are now grandparents at the age of 55, on average," said Ekert Hammer, professor of social gerontology at the Protestant University of Applied Sciences in Ludwigsburg, Germany. So they have about 20 years to spend with their grandchildren and they want to enjoy it from the start. "
But how do they do this without the young parents being overwhelmed by their excessive attention?
"They should think about the kind of help that will be truly grateful, especially in the postnatal months," says Hagen-Harvey, citing practical help such as cooking, shopping, washing, or pushing the baby into his vehicle so the mother can take a break.
Heinz Helgers, head of the German Association for the Protection of Children, which offers special courses for grandparents, offers advice for family harmony after the grandson's birth. The question is directly what the child needs and does not sit on the chest of the young family with your constant presence.
Hammer, a professor of social gerontology, stresses the need for grandparents not to interfere in the way grandchildren are raised.
Hummer's advice to new ancestors is: Do not make your grandchildren the focus of another project. He says that if you are very or very old, you will have a difficult time when your grandchildren do not need you anymore.
Then the seventy-fifth grandparents average. Then your friends, hobbies and friends will be waiting for you.