How much truth is there in the saying "you have less sex than a marriage"?

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It is curious how, despite the well-known saying, eight out of 10 couples think that their sexual life after marriage will not be harmed.

Silence... uncomfortable or reassuring?

The 'Benifers' had it clear, that is, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

They signed a

after marriage.

Without going into ethical questions and others, to what extent is it good to get to sign agreements or know the beliefs of our partner before going through the registry or the altar?

According to the "Essential Wedding Book", published by Bodas.net in collaboration with the ESADE professor, Carles Torrecilla, and Google, 89% of couples live together before the wedding, which confirms that the vast majority spend the litmus test of life together before getting married.

Tiredness, stress, routine, boredom or loss of magic, lack of communication or interest and motherhood or fatherhood, are the most common factors that usually affect couples' sexual relations, generally in a negative way;

, quality, spontaneity and creativity, in addition to triggering dysfunctions such as lack of desire.

These issues are not exclusive to marriage as they appear in long-term relationships, with or without children.

So is

?

Could it be that we do not want to take responsibility for what happens in our bed?

The well-known wedding website asked Spanish couples who are organizing their wedding how they think their sex life will change after saying 'yes, I do'.

Well,

while 36% think it will stay the same as before the wedding.

Only

.

In addition, the couples who took the survey consider that marriage will bring a fresh air to their sexual relations, making them more spontaneous (40%) and discovering other places outside of bed (21%).

With these data on the table, do I only see it or are they the most optimistic?

We continue.

One of two couples gets married in love, which seems the most logical, a priori.

Or perhaps, is marriage experienced as a lifeline when the phase of falling in love is over and

or is it accommodated in the relationship?

In other words, are they blinded by love or are they really motivated to do so?

Maybe a bit of everything.

In couples of medium or long duration, I would rule out the first option.

The state of

idealizes, but

two years with a lot of luck.

Or not, because we don't need more, it's too powerful and not as satisfying as the next phase, love;

calmer, different but profound.

We may say what is expected in that situation, although deep down we do not feel it or do not have reliable evidence of it.

The human being tends to seek coherence in the face of cognitive dissonance.

The uncertainty that marriage can generate, as a vital change that it is, is compensated with reassuring messages when deciding to do it, so as not to fall into inconsistencies.

But, it may also be that we are beginning to understand what relationships are about and couples are more motivated to build and care for them.

Believing that something will turn out well and be beneficial

increases the chances that it will.

It is the basis of the self-

;

This belief positions us and prepares us to achieve what we predict, and we act accordingly, so as not to have to accept that we are wrong and feel bad.

In this way, our attention will focus on the positive of the relationship and the couple, on the

instead of the constant failure that would be sought if our prediction were the opposite.

Despite the above data, 68% of couples think that routine could find a place in their relationships.

In this sense, so that the passion does not wane, they trust in making plans together (54%), having quality moments (36%) and saying 'I love you' (10%).

Although the aspect that Spanish couples value most when it comes to feeling loved is

together (58%).

Although spending time apart also works very well.

And I'm not saying this just because

betting on their three weeks away from professional matters, but because it's very healthy and helps us miss each other and have many things to tell each other.

I leave it there...

Ana Sierra

is a sexologist.

Conforms to The Trust Project criteria

Know more

• Ben Affleck

• Jennifer Lopez

• Google