On the occasion of the national week of Refuge, an association that helps people victims of LGBTphobia, Catherine Blanc addresses the issue of homosexuality within the family.
In "Sans Rendez-vous", the sexologist and psychologist answers several questions about communication between children and parents on this subject.
Why is it generally more complex and difficult to discuss your homosexuality with your family? For the National Week of Refuge, an associative structure whose goal is to offer help to people who are victims of homophobia, Catherine Blanc is examining this question and more generally on the theme of sexuality addressed within the family structure. In
Sans Rendez-vous,
on Europe 1, the sex therapist examines the psychological springs that often make this communication difficult and provides the keys to dealing with the problems raised by this situation.
"It is first of all difficult to talk about sexuality with your parents, because you need time to appropriate it. We always have the unconscious fear of mixing our sexuality with that of our parents. We are therefore not very inclined to talk about what makes our desire. As soon as this desire is not at all related to the construction of a family unit, that is to say of the parental referent couple, it is even more difficult to 'imagine being able to evoke it with this feeling, always in us, of having failed in the model proposed by them.
Should we make a "frank" announcement or use a roundabout method?
Why do we have to advertise our sexuality?
Is it our duty to have to explain where we are, if we have taken action?
In our families today, we should say that we did it or did not do it, when it belongs to us.
We are in a society that wants to talk about sexuality.
We are normal if we talk about our sexuality and if we are active in our sexuality.
This is not enough: we must also say how we act and with whom.
It's still a curious question.
From the moment we experience a sexuality that cannot be related to that of the parents, therefore to a heterosexual couple who can have children, the question emerges: 'How I will be able to be welcomed and be welcomed with my partner or my partner? '
This is where it poses a difficulty.
'I live my sexuality on my own but, sooner or later, I want to be able to return to the family ground.'
Should we first announce it to our brothers and sisters?
We can of course talk to each other and choose who our allies are.
But our siblings are not always our allies.
There are tensions and rivalries among siblings.
On the contrary, there are protections to be found.
With our peers, including our brothers and our sisters, it is about explaining what we live, how we grew up with it, what scared us in this discovery to find in people of the same generation a understanding and support, if parental support is needed.
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At one point, anyway, it's about talking to your parents saying our worry about what we experience so differently from them and the worry that it won't be greeted like that might. being.
When do we know we're "ready"?
We are ready when we are ready to accept the fact that it cannot be welcomed.
We know very well that we are quite solid in the understanding that we have of ourselves, that is to say that, upside down and against everyone, this is what I am and what I want to live.
Because I am comfortable with it, I will be able to face the impossibility of the other to welcome him. '
Even if the parents are welcoming, kind, loving, it is sometimes a surprise for them.
It is not always: children who are in this situation often believe that the parents do not know it but, in general, they have a hunch.
Let us remember that it is above all the surprise that makes the difficulty. "