The best tips to flirt online: "Happiness in Tinder is the new porn"

• Tips: Why sleeping apart is the secret to improving your sex life
• Epidemic Sexual drought: why your mobile is to blame for having less orgasms

At this time, millions of people are sliding their finger and matching in Tinder. Or flirting and roaming on any other social network. Those who are hooked in the largest dating application do so to find casual sex, find their ideal partner or for the immediate satisfaction that a new like provides , as well as to receive messages from whom they find attractive.

According to data from this application, since 2012, 20,000 million matches (one user and another connect) have been achieved in more than 196 countries, translated into 1,600 million daily selections and one million appointments per week. However, one of the most common complaints of men and women is the frustration and boredom they feel when agreeing and chatting with many people to, in the end, have unanswered messages, not meeting anyone or being victims of ghosting , benching or breadcumbing , which means, respectively, disappear without giving any explanation; keep a team of candidates on the bench simply by knowing that they are there and reaffirm the level of desirability or prepare the ground for a future break.

«Tinder is a bit like Candy Crush , you don't always play to level up but for the chemical pleasure that the game provides for your brain , hence the application had to change its initial slogan Slide, Match, Chat for Match, Chat, It remains to encourage people to take the step of seeing themselves in person and leaving digital comfort ”, remember Núria Gómez Gabriel, specialist in the expression of identities on the network, and Estela Ortiz, artist and cultural researcher, authors of Book Love me, Tinder, (Ed. Topics Today), a critical look that analyzes new habits in sex and love.

So how can you link better? In addition to being clear about what is being sought and being cautious with the information that is shared, the authors recommend choosing the main photo in detail and taking into account aspects such as not appearing in group photos, goodbye to selfies and choosing one in the who is smiling: "Happiness in Tinder is the new porn," they say. "Users who smile in the photos are 14% more likely to be chosen, compared to those who show a more neutral tone."

Users who smile in the photos are 14% more likely to be chosen

What matters are first impressions. «Setting up our Tinder profile is creating a costume that will always depend on what we hope to find. It is important to draw attention from the beginning, to be able to stimulate emotions and communicate personal interests in a genuine way, ”they add.

The algorithm of love: «You yes, you don't, you sure do», stores our preferences in the system: name, age, photos, geolocation and our biography. Record the time we spend observing each image, the colors, shapes and silhouettes, the soundtracks we reproduce, the places where we are most active and the events we attend. With all those memories and the sum of activity on Facebook, the app offers a list of suggestions regarding your level of desirability. In Tinder, "love is a predictable calculation."

When the first step has been achieved - the photo - written language is also essential to create connection and a good conversation. It is advisable to use long messages, as they increase the possibility of obtaining more matches. The figures prove it: they usually send 12-character messages within five minutes of obtaining a match , while they use 122 characters on average and take their time.

To calculate the desirability index of its users, the application analyzes the number of messages they receive from others, which in turn are desired by others. In addition to assessing the physical level of users and assigning them a "secret note of attractiveness," it classifies the level of intelligence, their studies and income. To know the level of intelligence of each person, the system counts the syllables of the conversations and proposes, first of all, those users who comply with the intellectual average.

In addition to assessing the physical level of users and assigning them a 'secret note of attractiveness' classifies the level of intelligence, their studies and income

Eigenfaces is the name of the algorithm that allows this love game: it analyzes the facial characteristics of the profiles we have given like and, with the sum of all the photos, generates an “average face” or perfect match , which represents the average of the choices the user has made. It is a platonic profile. Based on your ideal, the application selects and orders your future candidates.

As you can read in the pages of the book, Tinder is based on the logic of the aspirational search , on the idea that there will always be someone who best meets your expectations. What according to Núria Gómez Gabriel, “in addition to promoting unrespectful attitudes such as running off to the unexpected minimum, it also makes users spend more time working for the platform. Thing that has made us more uncompromising and has subjected us to a state of emotional stress based on what we lack and not on what we have.

The sexologist and couple therapist of the Spanish Association of Specialists in Sexology (AES), Marina Castro emphasizes that, although this type of application - such as Tinder or Bumble - can be useful, it is necessary to distinguish the needs to avoid frustrations and bad times. “When people are clear in saying what they are looking for, and know how to differentiate between having sex and making love, it is a good alternative. The problem is when there is an emotional intention or expectation and there is no talk ».

«Love in online dating applications is a reified love . When a user creates a profile in the application tends to define his person based on a set of benefits, we see it in examples of users who define themselves as a “perfect travel companion” or “dreamcatcher”, concludes the author Estela Ortiz.

Thus, while we continue to slide our finger and choose people as in a virtual showcase, our information becomes figures and scores that determine the perfect profiles to ignite the flame of digital love.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

• Sex

SexHow to put 1,000 in the 'back to school' sexual

Controversial relationship My romance with a dolphin, of which I have written a book

The great 'predator'The 555 crimes of the' engraver 'of women who arrived from Colombia