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The most socially widespread concept of fidelity involves

exclusivity

: the normative thing is that a couple has two and that there is no room for anyone else in their bedroom. Another thing, of course, are deceptions and lies, that is, cuckoldry, illegal in these relationships because they do not respect the agreements, whether tacit or explicit.

However, all agreements can be reviewed, as they only require the consent of the members of a couple. Many decide to blur their boundaries and break

monogamy

, rewriting their own

sexual and sentimental

history . Everything comes in here and by everything we mean what is agreed upon: you can maintain fidelity in love but not in bed; go together or separately to have liberal sexual relations; incorporate another or other components into the romantic relationship...

And, be careful, people without a partner can also enter the world of liberal sex, a territory whose red lines are basically marked by respect for others.

Arola Poch

is a sexologist from the liberal social network Wyylde, which has just released a kind of guide for those who are eager and curious about this universe and do not know what its main coordinates are. We asked her, among other questions, about a thorny topic:

jealousy

. "In an open relationship there can be jealousy, of course, just as insecurities or fears can arise, but in this type of relationship there is more awareness that these emotions do not contribute to the relationship and more awareness, too, to work on and manage them," she maintains.

Another interesting question is whether there is, as in so many other areas,

a gender gap

in this matter. "Generally speaking, perhaps men can have a little more initiative to propose opening the relationship, but then both parts of the couple have to be involved and interested. If not, there is no point in doing it," she clarifies. As for

singles

, "it is more common to find men in this environment than women, possibly fulfilling the stereotypes that link them to them with more desire and the expectation of finding

easy sex

. "

The smaller number of single women, for their part, is also due to the

fear or reservations

they may feel when entering this cosmos.

If you are interested in that universe and you don't have anyone to act as your guide, it is normal for you to have doubts and concerns. The sexologist explains that first-timers often question whether they are going to be uncomfortable, if they can go just to look, how they should interact with others... However, don't worry: "Then, the experience is much more

natural and fluid

than what you think." initially it is thought," he clarifies. For this reason, she recommends testing the environment through

specific social networks

, as a prior step to visiting a club.

Twelve questions, twelve answers

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The liberal social network Wyylde has prepared a kind of guide so as not to enter this environment blindly. Take note of their recommendations, because there are a series of rules and behaviors that will help you establish these environments as safe and that you should know:

  • Lower your expectations

    . Getting started in the liberal world does not mean that your sex life will change suddenly. You have to take it calmly to avoid disappointment at the first opportunity.

  • How to start meeting people?

    If you want to meet liberal people, you can go to places specialized in that environment. This way you ensure that you are all on the same page and you will avoid disappointment. The best places to find people from the liberal environment are liberal social networks and liberal clubs.

  • We have decided to go to a liberal club, which one are we going to?

    Explore the offer in your area. In Spain there are more than 80 liberal clubs and it is very likely that there is one in your city. In liberal communities, a lot of information is shared about clubs or events and you can also ask other users your questions.

  • What are we going to find in a club? Do they cost money?

    In most clubs the first thing you will see will be a first room where there are people, alone or as a couple, chatting and getting to know each other. From here, you can move on to other areas where there is more action. Here you will see dark rooms ('glory holes'), rooms with more or less large

    beds

    , BDSM dungeons, jacuzzis or swimming pools... "To enter most of the clubs you have to pay an entrance fee that includes a couple of drinks. The Prices can range between

    60-80 euros

    per couple. There are some, a few, that operate as an association and you have to become members to be able to join," explains the sexologist from Wyylde. Keep in mind that there are clubs that limit entry to certain spaces for single boys or even organize

    exclusive nights

    for couples, where you can only enter if you go with a companion.

  • Do I have to participate in any practice or can we just go watch?

    A visit to a club can be limited to getting to know the atmosphere and doing nothing else. Perhaps for a first visit it can be a good option, especially if there is a certain fear or concern about what may happen.

  • If I am a single girl, is it safe to go to these types of clubs?

    Respect is something that characterizes the liberal environment. You will surely feel less intimidated than in a normal nightclub.

  • If I am a boy alone, can I go too?

    Single children have more limited access to clubs. It may sound discriminatory, but we want to guarantee a respectful environment. There are places where in order for a boy to access alone or enter certain play areas, he has to accompany a couple.

  • What is most demanded in a liberal club?

    In slang there is the concept of

    unicorn,

    which refers to bisexual girls who relate to heterosexual couples. They are known as such because they are highly admired and difficult to find. "There are more single boys than single girls. And heterosexual couples, in general, look for more girls and bisexuals to have threesomes than boys," explains Arola Poch.

  • I'm watching a couple or a threesome or a foursome having sex and I want to join in, can I?

    Some clubs have their own rules that can help you. For example, if a couple is in a bed and the curtain is open, they invite you to watch or participate. But if they are in a room with the door or curtains closed, no. Normally clubs have a Public Relations person who explains these codes.

  • How do I stop an interaction if I feel uncomfortable?

    Be clear and specific. Don't be afraid to say 'no' or stop whatever, whenever. If you feel better you can explain what happened, but you don't have to.

  • Should I establish codes with my partner?

    It can be interesting to have a word or gesture shared with your partner to tell us when we want to continue or when to stop. It is a way to generate complicity in the couple.

  • Do not insist.

    In liberal clubs, respect is very important. If they have told you no, don't insist. "Clubs and the liberal environment in general take boundaries, consent and respect very seriously. If someone goes too far, they would be asked to leave. They try to create a comfortable and safe environment so that people can explore their sexuality to the fullest. the point that each one desires", Poch ditches. Another common rule in the liberal environment is that what happens in the club, stays in the club. Discretion

    is

    also important.

    • couple relationships

    • Sex