During the Chinese New Year, couples "each go back to their own homes and find their own mothers." Do you agree?

【Editor's note】

　　　　Year after year, the way of celebrating the Spring Festival changes. Since when did the family problem of "go to your house for the New Year or go to my house for the New Year" have a new solution; since when did the social relationships during the Spring Festival have been quietly reconstructed... Year after year, the same Spring Festival continues Witness new phenomena, give birth to new careers, and bring new feelings. China News Network launched the "New Spring Festival Illustrated Book" plan to record the changes in annual customs and freeze the changing China.

　　China News Service, Beijing, February 11 (Zhang Yuhui) Whose house will you go back to during the Chinese New Year? This is a problem that has been bothering the couple for a long time. It even became a trigger for disputes between the couple during the "Chinese New Year". An interview with China News Network found that in recent years, some young people have simply not made a choice and decided to "go back to their own homes and find their own mothers." In addition to celebrating the New Year in the "spouses living apart" style, this generation of young people have also come up with a variety of new ways to celebrate the New Year.

Picture/ICphoto

"Everyone goes back to his own home and finds his own mother."

　　From 2019 to the present, this will be the fifth year that Xiao Sa and her husband have "returned to their respective homes" to celebrate the New Year. Xiao Sa said that she respects families who choose various ways to visit relatives, but her position is that she prefers to return to her own home and cannot lose her position just to maintain the relationship between husband and wife.

　　"For the relationship between husband and wife, communication is the first priority. This is just like many families may choose to go back to the husband's house all the time to celebrate the New Year. When one day you say that you want to go back to each other's house, the husband will be very confused - 'How can I do you? Are you going back to your home?'" Therefore, Xiao Sa discussed the matter with her husband when they first got married and put their thoughts on the table, and the process went smoothly.

　　Xiao Sa told China News Service that she believes that her parents' understanding and support are the most critical thing for couples to go back to their respective homes to celebrate the New Year. At first, she thought that her parents would be slower to accept this new concept than young people, and she was afraid that her parents would be unhappy and that they would think their marriage was unhappy. Later, when both parents agreed, she did not even expect that it would go so smoothly.

　　Having been married for 15 years, He Jing has always spent the New Year with her parents. She settled in Guangzhou, and her parents usually helped take care of her children. Because the winter in her hometown of Shaanxi is relatively cold and the children are too young, her parents and children stayed in the south to celebrate the New Year with her. The parents-in-law like to celebrate the New Year in their hometown, and the husband goes back to his hometown to accompany his parents-in-law.

　　"We all think this method is very good, and the elderly on both sides can be taken into consideration." He Jing said that in this regard, her husband is easier to talk to, and her parents-in-law are also very open-minded.

　　Liu Ge, who has a son and a daughter, also said that he has been celebrating the New Year at his parents' house for many years, and the same is true for some relatives and friends around him. Because she has different eating habits from her parents-in-law, and there are trivial matters at home that she needs to deal with during the Chinese New Year, Liu Ge and her husband chose to go to their respective homes to celebrate the Chinese New Year.

　　"I'll handle my family's affairs, and he'll handle his family's affairs. We can just live our own lives." Liu Ge said this when it came to persuading his parents.

Do we have to wait until the second day of the first lunar month to return to our parents’ home?

　　It is a traditional practice in some places to "stay at your husband's house on New Year's Eve and return to your parents' house on the second day of the Lunar New Year."

　　This is Jingjing's second year of marriage. According to local custom, she had to go to her husband's house to celebrate the New Year in the first year of marriage. After an unaccustomed and homesick Spring Festival, she and her husband proposed to go back to their respective homes for the New Year this year. However, whenever she took the child to make video calls with her parents-in-law, they expressed that they missed the child very much and asked the child to go back to celebrate the New Year, and said that the family of three could not spend the New Year apart.

　　"I can understand how the elderly miss their children, but I rarely have time to go home to spend time with my parents, and the four-hour drive home is not easy, so it's difficult to satisfy both parties," Jingjing said helplessly.

　　She also said that her parents hoped that their daughter would stay with them at home during the Chinese New Year, but they still asked if they should send her back because they were afraid that her parents-in-law would not be happy and said that it would not be good for a family of three to be separated.

　　Xiao Sa also mentioned that some relatives and friends around her questioned the way she and her husband celebrated the New Year, and some cited local customs and rules to persuade her not to return to her parents' home for the New Year, such as "You cannot return to your parents' home before the second day of the Lunar New Year" and "After It is unlucky for the mother’s family to celebrate the New Year”, “the family of three cannot be separated during the New Year”, etc.

　　"I not only heard these words, but someone talked to me directly face to face, as if the sky would fall if I went back to my parents' home for the New Year. But I feel that I cannot be bound by traditional concepts. Regarding these views, I Select 'Auto-block', after all, when I go home, my parents are the happiest." Xiao Sa said.

　　She wrote this sentence on social media - "Occasionally, relatives and friends will tell me the 'big principles' of people who have experienced it, but it doesn't matter, I go in with one ear and out with the other, no matter what others think, I As long as you two are happy."

This generation of young people are beginning to celebrate the New Year in a fancy way

　　In addition to going back to their respective homes, this generation of young people also came up with a variety of new ways to celebrate the New Year.

　　Xiao Sa observed the practices of some relatives and friends around him. Some adopt a "shift system", that is, going to the man's house to spend a year, and then going to the girl's house to spend a year. Some organize parents of both parties to travel together.

　　She also discussed with her husband how to celebrate the New Year after having a child, and finally the two reached an agreement: neither of them would go home until the child turns three, and they would stay to take care of the child, or bring both parents over to celebrate the New Year together; After that, everyone will go back to their respective homes. As for where the child wants to go, leave the choice to him and let him make his own decision.

　　Liu Ge also believes that children are not a factor that restricts one’s choice of how to celebrate the New Year. She believes that there are many choices for celebrating the New Year. For example, if the parents of both parties are close to each other, they can go to their parents’ house for lunch and dinner at their in-laws’ house in the evening, or bring their parents over. Another example is to have a reunion dinner with their parents together before the New Year. During the Chinese New Year, I go traveling.

　　"We now have the conditions to bring the elderly from both sides to celebrate the New Year together. This is actually the way we have always wanted." He Jing said. (The names of the interviewees in this article are pseudonyms) (End)