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It's often believed that people who cheat within marriage can carry a great deal of moral guilt and may repent, yet married people who have affairs find them very satisfying, express little remorse and believe that the cheating did not harm their otherwise healthy marriages, according to a new report on the psychology of infidelity by Johns Hopkins University.

The study, published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, shows that the extensive survey of people using Ashley Madison, a website to facilitate extramarital affairs, challenges widespread notions about infidelity, particularly about the motivations and experiences of cheaters.

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"In popular media, TV shows, movies and books, people who have affairs have this intense moral guilt and we don't see that in this sample of participants," said lead author Dylan Selterman, an associate professor in Johns Hopkins University's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences who studies relationships and attraction.

The lead author explains that "ratings of satisfaction with affairs were high: sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction" and that "feelings of regret were low." "These findings paint a more complicated picture of infidelity compared to what we thought we knew."

Researchers conducted this study to better understand the psychological experiences of those who seek and have extramarital affairs. Working with researchers at the University of Western Ontario, Selterman surveyed nearly 2,000 active Ashley Madison users, before and after having affairs.

Lots of love and poor sex

Participants were asked about the state of their marriage, why they wanted to have an affair, and about their overall well-being. Respondents, usually male and middle-aged, reported high levels of love for their partners, but low levels of sexual satisfaction.

Participants reported high levels of love for their spouses, however, about half of participants said they were not sexually active with their partners. Sexual dissatisfaction was the most cited motivation for having an affair, along with other motivations, including the desire for independence and sexual variety. Fundamental problems with the relationship, such as lack of love or anger toward a spouse, were among the least cited reasons for wanting to cheat.

Having good marriages didn't make cheaters more likely to regret affairs, the survey found. Participants generally reported that their affair was very satisfying both sexually and emotionally, and that they did not regret having it.

The results suggest that infidelity isn't necessarily the result of a deeper problem in the relationship, Selterman says. Participants sought affairs because they wanted exciting, novel sexual experiences, sometimes because they didn't feel a strong commitment to their partners, rather than out of a need for emotional satisfaction, the report found.

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