With "tie-ins", we are no longer islands in the city.

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"Tie" is on fire again. From the traditional "rice tie" and "mahjong tie" to "toilet tie", "nap tie" and "fish tie", it seems that many young people now need a "tie" in everything they do, and for them, "everything can be matched", and "they don't want to go to the toilet/eat in the company without a partner".

Why is "tie" so important?

Everything can be built, and it will be dispersed after building: shallow socialization, weak relationships

Netizens jokingly call "partners" "friends in vertical segments", but in fact, "partners" relationships are often weaker than friends.

Mark Granovett, former head of the sociology department at Stanford University, who has done decades of research in the field of social networks, uses four indicators to measure the strength of interpersonal relationships in his article "The Power of Weak Relationships": length of time, emotional intensity, intimate trust, and reciprocal behavior.

Unlike friends, who need to "see people's hearts for a long time", "partners" do not need to get along for a long time and interact with each other frequently. If you say hello during the hike, you can add WeChat and become a "walking partner"; In the game group, you can form a teammate in a game and become a "game partner"; If you share snacks with your colleagues on your first day in a new company, you can become a "lunch partner" at lunchtime. But after the budding activity, everyone almost did not contact, and there was no longer getting along and interacting.

We trust and bond with our friends in every way, and the "partners" are only intimate when they are partnered. Think about it if the "hiking partner" still confides in you how much you can't let go of your ex after falling out of love after going home, you may feel "a little strange"; Or the "game partner" borrows money from you, and eighty percent of them have encountered scammers.

Similarly, we will always help friends, but the reciprocal behavior of "partnering" usually only occurs when the partner is active, or in those things that do not require much effort. For example, helping friends move and going to eat at home sounds normal; And it may be okay to help the "lunch partner" find the link to the snacks you bought, but if it is to help take care of pets during the New Year, it is a bit "out of bounds".

In short, we can see that the "partner" relationship is generally weaker than the friend in the above 4 aspects, and the social interaction between the "partner" is a shallow socialization.

Informative and focused: social support in shallow socialization

Light social, weak relationship, it sounds like there is no way to give us too strong support, but why is this social relationship still desirable?

Because there are many types of social support, the support that shallow social can give can also play an important role.

Psychologists divide the social support we get from relationships into 4 categories: emotional support, that is, caring for love, accepting emotions, and verbal comfort; Physical comfort, such as patting and hugging; Advice support, such as providing information, information, or direct suggestions; Material support, which may be money or other tangible items.

While friends can give us a lot of emotional support, physical comfort, and even material support, shallow social and weak relationships can often provide more information than friends, and this information will be of great value at certain times. Granovitt believes that shallow social and weak relationships are widely distributed, so they are more likely to act as bridges across social boundaries, for example, "walking partners" and "game partners" may be distributed in all walks of life, if we want to find a new job, the information and opportunities we get from them will be more and more useful than we get from friends.

This support is especially useful for young people with insecure attachment styles. A study by American psychologists suggests that people with an attachment style of alienation, that is, those who believe that there is no way or need to be close to other people in an intimate relationship, will prefer specific advice support over emotional support. So, shallow socializing may be more comfortable for them.

In addition, no matter what specific support we can get from shallow social interaction, the idea that "partners" can support themselves is actually very important. Psychological research has found that people's perceived support is a more effective factor affecting relationship satisfaction and life satisfaction than the objective actual amount of assistance. Therefore, everyone will say, "partner" is "the main companionship", even if two people do not chat when eating, there is a "lunch partner", it will make people feel that "I am not alone", so as to make the time to queue for hot meals or wait for takeaway in the company a little better; Even if the two people are very "dish" and have a "game partner", it will make people feel a little more confident, and they will not be too aggrieved when they are abused or even ridiculed by their opponents.

In fact, as more and more young people flood into big cities, such shallow socialization will become more and more common. Research on residential mobility believes that people with high mobility in the process of growing up will more often adopt friendship division strategies, that is, do specific things with different friends, such as turning friends into "partners" in various activities. Young people living in big cities, because they often have to move, change jobs, and are too far away from friends, the previous model of meeting friends every day is no longer applicable, so on the one hand, everyone will look for new "partners", on the other hand, they will also use their original friends as "partners" for different activities.

With "tie-ins", we are no longer islands in the city. No matter how deep or small your social life, I wish you always have enough information and good enough companionship.

Yin Jinxiu Source: China Youth Daily