Ismael Cala, communicator: "The ruminants of their own grief choose suffering as a life option and end up trapped in a vicious circle"

Life and Human Development Strategist, journalist, best-selling author, philanthropist and international speaker, the life of Ismael Cala is as or more amazing (and already difficult) than the rosary of activities in which he dedicates himself professionally.

Born in Cuba, he left his native country to travel, first, to Canada and, later, to the United States, where he lived first-hand that

that so many yearn for.

For more than five years, he presented the show 'CALA', on CNN in Spanish, which made him one of the most beloved and influential communicators in America.

However, in full crest of the wave, he decided to leave everything to dedicate himself to the world of spirituality, meditation and advice.

In his new book, 'Fluir para no suferir' (Planet), Cala invites the reader to learn more about themselves in order to learn to live more consciously and coherently.

Our grandparents and parents seemed stronger than us, or at least they didn't complain as much.

Do you think we suffer more than they do or do we have less tolerance for life's setbacks? It's a very interesting question and I must admit that this is the first time I've thought of doing any generational comparison in this regard.

I think we are very

as long as it is a tool that helps us understand the future as a time of change and disruption, especially since digitization has taken shape.

That is something that our grandparents, great grandparents or great grandparents did not experience.

Since we have digitized the world, exponential technologies have accelerated our existence, which means that the 'status quo' and the rules of the game change much more frequently.

We must understand that, in the industrial revolution, which was the time that our grandparents and those who preceded them lived, there was a

.

People kept the aspiration to stay in the same house, with the same furniture.

If they bought an object, they thought that its use would be eternal.

I remember that my grandmother put covers (protectors) on her furniture, because they had to last a lifetime!

So, from the moment

, these new generations no longer think of a finished product.

Today we are in I don't know which version of the iPhone, because it is a product that will never reinvent itself, unless a new technology emerges to replace its functions.

From that moment, it was clear that we were going to live in a world in which we would be constantly changing.

.

These older generations

That was the thought of our grandparents.

If they came to complain, they assumed it as part of the life that touched them.

The current generations, on the other hand;

they understand that life has its cycles and that nothing is going to stay exactly the way it is today.

The good news is that in today's corporate world,

: baby boomers, generation x, millennials and zillennials, which implies a greater capacity for patience, because new forms of leadership are required, one that is capable of understanding the complaints and needs of all.

Undoubtedly, for me young people today complain more, but because perhaps we carry the notion that our predecessors did not do it, because perhaps they were satisfied with little. To what extent does 'not measuring up' make us suffer or not? achieve that happiness so longed for? Our technological news sends us to

, which often leads us to mistakenly think that happiness is an end and that if you are not happy 24/7, then you are a failure.

However, the realities of people are usually very complex, but, in addition to this, we must understand that

.

It's impossible to be smiling from ear to ear all the time!

Emotions are there to help us respond to the stimuli that we constantly perceive.

Social networks, unfortunately, have made this

spread everywhere and it is taken as true when it is not.

.

And, when this happens, the least thing that crosses our minds is to compare ourselves with nobody, because we feel complete.

I know that it can be especially difficult

, because also, according to psychology, we build ourselves in an image with another, but we must also remember that this other has not lived the same routes as us and that, therefore, each one is in completely different situations, which does not necessarily imply that we are not measuring up. Can you 'choose' not to suffer?

How? Of course!

Buddha said that "

".

We live, and as long as we live, we are

, but also to experience unexpected situations.

All of this is part of our human experience.

The difference is that someone who experiences such a loss inevitably suffers, but once they have gone through

, they are ready to move on with their lives, knowing that they will surely be hurt for life.

On the contrary, those who ruminate on their own grief daily have

and end up trapped in a vicious circle from which they are often unable to get out, because they do not have the

.

I want to be emphatic in pointing out that

, much less throwing in the towel.

Nor is it apathy or learned hopelessness.

Flow is that

.

When we tense up, the blood to the thinking brain is blocked and it all goes to the base of the cerebellum, which is the primary, reactionary and instinctive brain.

Flowing is

so that, with my thinking intelligence, I can meditate and design a change strategy.

It's not settling, it's accepting that today that situation is what it is.

I calm down, relax and say: "I don't like this and I want to change it."

How do I do it?

Of course I don't change it by generating a brute force that opposes that other force that life is throwing me at, because two opposing forces create wear and tear and we know that from classical physics. You propose that we let ourselves flow.

How do you do that when you have problems everywhere?

Because to do that, you must develop a perspective on your life.

When I talk about flowing, I mean

: our home, our friendships, work.

Certainly, problems are there every day, but what really makes a difference is the

.

Notice that what we call problems are actually contrasts, because they simply

and that is why we label them unpleasant tragedies.

We must learn to look at them for what they are, because behind them, in most cases,

are hidden . Where is the limit between accepting and conforming? There is a very big difference between both concepts, because

things it is because, simply

and, therefore, we must learn to live with it.

On the other hand,

to change their situation, but they did not.

Emotionally, it is totally different.

They always ask me: "To what point should you insist on something that is not finished and when is it healthy to give up?"

And I always answer: "The solution is in your heart.

that we rarely listen to because we are busy paying attention to the mind. So, that would be another difference between the two terms.

(mind) that we could do more and we did not try when in reality it is not so. Imagine that I am suffering.

What do I do to mitigate that pain? The first thing is the

.

In this world of immediacy and 'zero pain',

and identify exactly what vibrational level we are at.

So, as

, we quickly return to the same point of repeating the lesson until we learn it.

Now, the work of consciousness expansion indicates that, after the time we consider appropriate, we begin to move (first physically) towards more luminous emotions.

it has been proven that this helps to get out of states of suffering.

The next thing is to

.

It may sound strange that I tell you to go find someone to help when you are suffering, but it has also been shown that

and, At the same time, it begins to move us emotionally towards higher sensations in terms of vibration.

Another way is

No matter how bad we are, getting it out of our system through writing allows us to resignify it.

In fact, experts recommend doing this exercise in the third person, as if we were telling the story to someone else.

If with these actions you do not feel the slightest movement in your situation, I will always responsibly recommend seeking professional help.

Mental health is as important as physical health and, just as we go to the emergency room when we break a bone to heal ourselves, we also have the right to seek specialists if we feel that we cannot get out of the suffering we are suffering alone. What is mental health? 'real' happiness? Happiness is a

.

That implies having the possibility of living on our own terms with the peace and tranquility that the most important person in our lives is ourselves.

The detail is that society tends to "set" the standards of certain milestones in which we are supposed to feel happiness:

The issue is that, if you have not dedicated yourself to cultivating a full life in the different areas of your life, when you achieve all that and you see that you still do not feel happy because you associated it with some external symbols or that depend on others, then comes the frustration.

Happiness can be in the

(which we often take for granted) but, when we lack them, is when we react to how important they are: waking up alive in the morning;

being able to see the sunrise

savor a coffee or an infusion;

pet a puppy;

smile at a child;

help a stranger;

receive a sincere compliment... All these can be

that we miss while working non-stop to reach those big milestones that others set for us and that are supposed to make us happy. What is the relationship between our narcissism, materialism and hedonism with that suffering that lurks? All those traits of personality disorders are

.

All human beings have the need to love, to be loved and to live a meaningful existence.

What happens is that, in this

, some people manage to avoid suffering through some of these pathologies and many more.

The big issue is that, not only do they not get it, but, along the way,

.

The most delicate thing is that, now, all this is

that, on occasions, it can even make people who are clearly going through some of these traits seen as role models and then their 'fans' normalize it, which leads us to a very dangerous spiral of suffering and desolation

Why Why do we look

at our

navels so much, but we always look for happiness 'outside', in a partner, for example

people who only serve to cover something that we are not able to face.

Even though your question refers to looking outside (specifically in a partner), it could be said that

.

In my workshops, I always love to explain to people that we must first be in order to later focus on a

to do and, with it, to be able to have.

Unfortunately, there are people who do the reverse: they have to be able to do, and then to be.

They live life seeking to satisfy the answers in material objects and people, when

.

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