Chinanews.com, Nanjing, February 18th (Reporter Shen Ran) "Why did Gao Xiaochen become so rebellious when he became an adult in "Hurricane"? Because Gao Qiqiang is a 'popular killer' and Chen Shuting is a 'stick killer'. From a psychological point of view, this Demonstrated the two worst ways of parent-child communication to the 'parents'." As primary and secondary schools around the world start school one after another, various school opening "big dramas" have "debuted".
In order to help students and parents get through the start of school smoothly, the public welfare lecture "The Third Classroom" organized by the Nanjing Municipal Education Department invited Zeng Zhi, a professor of psychology and doctoral supervisor at Nanjing University of Traditional Chinese Medicine, to give "classes" to parents of students. Tips for parent-child communication in the beginning of the school season.
What if the winter vacation homework is not completed?
What should I do if my body is still on vacation after school starts?
Will setting goals at the beginning of school be too stressful?
… For the past few days, parents from all over the world have been "mixed with joy and sorrow". They are happy that the "sacred beast" at home can finally return to school, but worried that the start of school means a new "starting line". Children and parents have no idea.
"Every new semester, many students and parents will feel a little nervous and anxious. In fact, parents and children need to understand that it is normal to show anxiety and nervousness during the adjustment process when entering a new life or learning situation. For parents For us, we should understand and accept this, don’t worry too much, give the children some time, they will gradually adapt to the rhythm of the start of school, and find their own learning methods and directions.” Zeng Zhi said, for children, High-quality companionship, security, love and respect are more important nutrients than providing material things. "Although it is a commonplace, many parents will 'distort and lose shape' in practice."
"For example, many parents now know that they need to give their children high-quality companionship, but what is high-quality companionship? What is 'accompanied' is not time, but relationship. How to understand children is very important. Parents must understand children, But don't understand children too much. Children need the understanding of their parents, but an 'omniscient' ultimate authority will curb children's own exploration and development." Zeng Zhi introduced, "For example, in educational psychology research, We found that the subjects that parents are good at may not necessarily be the strong points of their children. Why does this happen? Because such parents may not be able to understand the plight of their children growing up, and they may not even be able to empathize with their children. Children are trapped in I'm at a loss as to what to do with the 'yong in the past' that parents like to talk about."
"Let's talk about respect and love. In the recently popular TV series "Hurricane", the rebellious Gao Xiaochen made many viewers angry. Why did he become like this?" In Zeng Zhi's view, "This is the inevitable result. In the play, Gao Qiqiang blindly dotes on and spoils Gao Xiaochen, while his mother Chen Shuting only belittles and reprimands Gao Xiaochen."
Zeng Zhi used a scene in the play as an example, "Gao Xiaochen is practicing the piano, Gao Qiqiang blindly praised him for learning fast and well, but his mother Chen Shuting suppressed him coldly: "It took a month of practice to become like this. Face said!' Hearing her mother say this, the original smile on Gao Xiaochen's face disappeared in an instant, and her mood became depressed. He slammed, and threw out a sentence, "The hand shape is wrong, how can you practice if you don't play the piano!""
"I believe that there have been similar situations in many families. What such a pair of 'parents' show is the taboo in parent-child communication and interaction, 'praise education' and 'belittling education'. Parents should use positive language as much as possible. Parent-child communication and interaction, don’t forcefully project your negative emotions or cognitions and opinions onto your children.” Zeng Zhi suggested that in the new semester, parents can set some suitable learning goals with their children, “When the children complete this goal, Parents need to be consistent, give positive feedback and encouragement.”
According to Hou Zhengyong, secretary of the Education Working Committee of the Nanjing Gulou District Committee, this "third classroom" is a special classroom for parents.
"The first classroom in which a child grows is the family, the second classroom is the school, and the 'third classroom' is to connect the first classroom (family) and the second classroom (school) so that children, teachers, and parents Learn together. Here, we regularly invite experts with rich experience in various fields to provide suggestions and reminders for all aspects of family and school education. communication platform.” (End)