"Bao Ma took the boy into the women's bathroom" frequently provoked controversy Experts appealed

Consider adding a children's toilet in the future

　　● In the controversy surrounding boys' use of women's restrooms, the age of boys is often seen as the key point of whether this behavior is reasonable.

Some boys who have reached school age may still be gender-neutral in the eyes of their parents, but they already belong to the opposite sex in the eyes of other women.

They appear in the locker room and toilet of the opposite sex, which will make people who mind feel offended

　　● With the promulgation of laws and regulations such as the Personal Information Protection Law, the public’s awareness of personal privacy protection continues to increase. Therefore, it is necessary to further improve public service facilities, including the establishment of a third toilet, increasing the privacy of men’s and women’s toilets, and adding private partitions to men’s toilets. interval

　　● Parents should strengthen the study of sex education, cultivate children's gender awareness and boundary awareness from an early age, so that they can form healthy and positive values.

Gender awareness is not simply telling children that men and women are different, but integrating gender awareness into the entire education system of children

　　□ Our reporter Wen Yuanhao

　　Recently, in a women's toilet at a subway station in Harbin, Heilongjiang, a woman found a boy standing in it, so she told the boy: This is a women's toilet, boys are not allowed in.

Later, the child's parents believed that the woman had hurt the child's heart, blocked her and demanded an apology, and the two sides quarreled fiercely in the toilet.

　　After the relevant video was uploaded on the Internet, the incident quickly aroused heated discussions in the society.

Some parents said that they have also encountered the problem of taking their children to the toilet. It is a helpless move to take boys into the women's toilet; Set up a third bathroom to meet the needs of different groups of people.

　　How to better solve this kind of problem?

　　Experts interviewed by a reporter from the "Rule of Law Daily" believe that although my country has promoted third toilets in many places, these facilities still need to be further expanded and popularized.

It is difficult to complete the construction of toilet facilities in a short period of time. The primary measure is to pay close attention to the education of gender awareness in public toilets.

Parents themselves should strengthen the study of sex education, and cultivate children's gender awareness and boundary awareness from an early age, so that they can form healthy and positive values.

Controversy over boys entering women's restroom

The rights of others cannot be ignored

　　"As soon as I entered the bathroom, I saw several half-grown boys. For a moment, I thought I was going in the wrong direction." The women's toilet saw this scene.

　　"This scene was really embarrassing, so I had to go to the toilet and leave in a hurry. Thinking of the popular video I watched on the Internet two days ago, I understand the feelings of the woman in the video better." said Lin Yan, who will be 6 years old It is indeed easy to offend other women who go to the toilet if an older boy is brought into the women's toilet.

　　Beijing citizen Zhong Ge also had a similar experience.

Previously, when she went to the toilet at Beijing Capital International Airport late at night, she saw a 1.3-meter-tall boy standing in it as soon as she entered.

There was no one in the toilet at the time, and she was shocked when she saw it.

The boy said that he accompanied his mother to the bathroom, and pointed to one of the compartments.

　　"His mother told me after going to the bathroom that because the child was only over 6 years old, she brought him in because she was afraid that it would be unsafe for him to be outside alone." Zhong Ge told reporters that although the boy's mother expressed apology, she still cared a little. of.

　　Fu Di, who lives in Nanchang, Jiangxi, is the mother of a 4-year-old boy.

She told the reporter that when taking the child out, it is inevitable that the child needs to go to the toilet. If the child’s father or other male friends are present, she will let them accompany the child to the men’s toilet. I can take him into the women's restroom."

　　According to Liu Siyao, a lawyer at Yiqing (Beijing) Law Firm, in real life, mothers take their young sons out, fathers take their young daughters out, daughters take their old father out, and sons take their old Mothers who go out, pregnant women with limited mobility go to the toilet, disabled people go to the toilet, etc., will all encounter such embarrassing and helpless situations, and there is no need to blame them too much.

However, in the process of processing, we should try our best to find a reasonable way to avoid arousing the disgust of others or infringing on the rights and interests of others.

　　Article 1032 of the Civil Code stipulates that natural persons enjoy the right to privacy, and no organization or individual may infringe upon the privacy of others by means of spying, intrusion, disclosure, or disclosure.

Privacy refers to the tranquility of a natural person's private life and the private space, private activities, and private information that a natural person does not want to be known to others.

　　"In the above-mentioned video incident, when the 6-year-old boy entered the women's bathroom, the woman, as the person involved, has the right to give a reasonable reminder to the boy and his mother. As long as the tone and wording are appropriate, it is a legitimate act of safeguarding her legal rights," Liu Siyao said. This incident seems to be a common small friction in life, but it has extremely strong practical significance.

After a dispute occurs, the parties should properly negotiate and resolve it.

　　"This incident also reflects that we should pay attention to the absence of fathers in fulfilling their children's educational responsibilities, encourage men to participate in specific child-rearing practices, and increase their participation in child-rearing." Zhang Xiaobing, head of the Children's Research Institute of the China Youth Research Center, believes that the The boy in the incident is already 6 years old. Judging from the video materials disclosed so far, his father was also present, so the first choice should be for his father to take him to the men's toilet.

If it is inconvenient, the boy can go to the men's toilet by himself after consulting the child's wishes and ensuring safety.

　　Zhang Xiaobing said that if the mother has to take her into the women's bathroom, she must explain the toilet rules and related gender cognition to the child in advance, so as to avoid psychological confusion and harm to the child.

In addition, as the guardians of their children, parents also have the responsibility to protect their children's physical and mental health. Losing control of their emotions in front of their children is also a kind of harm to their children.

Help children grow up healthy

Establish correct gender awareness

　　At the beginning of February this year, the slogan "Do not bring boys over 3 years old" posted in the women's toilet of a shopping mall in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province sparked heated discussions.

Some netizens believe that 3-year-old children are not very good at going to the toilet by themselves, and they may be in danger if they are too young. This kind of slogan is not friendly to mothers who take their babies out alone.

Some netizens also expressed the hope that this kind of slogan will become popular soon.

　　The staff of the mall responded that this slogan has been there since the mall opened in April 2021. Many customers reported that it was not suitable for boys aged four or five to enter, so this rule was made.

To this end, most floors of the mall are equipped with barrier-free toilets. There are separate toilets for adults and children, urinals for boys, and diaper tables, etc., which can be used by mothers who take boys out alone or fathers who take girls out.

　　The reporter noticed that in the controversy surrounding boys entering women's toilets, the age of boys is often regarded as the key point of whether this behavior is reasonable.

　　"Children begin to have a clear sense of gender at the age of 3, and they will develop curiosity about the opposite sex. If parents frequently take their children into public spaces such as toilets of the opposite sex, it will cause children to have wrong gender awareness, and even affect their future gender. concept.” Wu Mengkai, a lawyer at Guangdong Hetuo Law Firm, said that some boys who have reached the school age may still be children of ambiguous gender in the eyes of their parents, but in the eyes of other women, they already belong to the opposite sex.

They appear in the locker room and toilet of the opposite sex, which will make people who care about it feel offended.

　　"The Civil Code stipulates that those who infringe on the privacy rights of others shall bear civil tort liabilities such as apology and cessation of infringement." If damage is caused to others, the guardian shall bear the tort liability.

If the guardian has fulfilled his duty of guardianship, his tort liability may be mitigated.

If a person without civil capacity or with limited capacity for civil conduct causes damage to others, the compensation fee shall be paid from his own property; the guardian shall make compensation for the shortfall.

　　Liu Siyao believes that the current law does not clearly stipulate the age at which children are prohibited from entering the toilet of the opposite sex, and each child's growth environment and parental education are different, and their ability to go to the toilet independently is also different. It is difficult to draw a clear boundary.

But from the perspective of being responsible for children's education, after three or four-year-old children go to kindergarten, parents should take the initiative to help children establish correct gender awareness and boundary awareness.

　　"If a boy needs to go to the toilet, if there are no specific facilities and no parents of the same sex are present, after asking the child's wishes, if the mother really needs to take the boy to the women's toilet, he can enter the cubicle with the child and turn his back to the child , or wait for the child at the door of the cubicle, and explain the reason to him at the same time." Zhang Xiaobing suggested that if the mother is only going to the toilet and wants to take her in because she is worried that the child will be left unattended, she should first ask the child if she is willing to go in with her. This is respect for children.

　　"If other women in the women's restroom feel inconvenienced, especially girls who feel confused, they should explain it in a friendly manner and apologize." Zhang Xiaobing said that in daily life behaviors and habits, parents have an obligation to help children establish privacy concepts and gender identity. know and respect the privacy of others.

　　Zhang Xiaobing suggested that if a boy is unwilling to go to the women's toilet, he should respect his wishes and let the child wait for his mother outside the women's toilet or go to the men's toilet alone. Or put on smart devices such as mobile phones and electronic watches, keep talking with them at any time, and tell your children to yell if they are in danger.

Improve public service facilities

Solve the urgent needs of parents

　　"Whether it's a boy entering the women's toilet or a girl entering the men's toilet, these situations are likely to cause confusion and confusion in children's gender cognition." In Zhang Xiaobing's view, with the introduction of laws and regulations such as the Personal Information Protection Law, the public's The awareness of personal privacy protection is constantly increasing, so it is necessary to further improve public service facilities, including setting up a third toilet, improving the privacy of men's and women's toilets, and adding private compartments in men's toilets, etc.

　　"In this way, we can avoid turning the problem into conflicts between individuals, causing physical and mental harm to children and misalignment of gender cognition, and delaying children's establishment of correct gender awareness." Zhang Xiaobing said.

　　In September 2016, the "Urban Public Toilet Design Standards" revised by the Ministry of Housing and Urban-Rural Development required that the first-class fixed public toilets in the city, the public toilets of secondary and above hospitals, commercial areas, important public facilities and important traffic passenger transportation The movable public toilets in the facility area shall be equipped with a third toilet.

　　In December of the same year, the "Notice on Accelerating the Construction of the Third Restroom (Family Restroom)" issued by the former National Tourism Administration also pointed out that the construction of the third restroom will help solve the toilet needs of special groups of tourists and help improve tourism. Public service facilities, and require the national 5A-level tourist attractions to be equipped with a third toilet.

　　"According to these two regulations, most of the public spaces are actually responsible and obliged to set up a third bathroom." Zhang Xiaobing believes that with the concept of child-friendly cities and birth-friendly cities being put forward and the implementation of various related plans In the future, it is possible to consider adding children's toilets, highlighting children's subjectivity, and further expanding the number, giving children a certain amount of public space, not just a question of availability. "This is a concrete manifestation of the degree of urban civilization and the progress of social development. reflect."

　　Liu Siyao also deeply agrees with this.

"At present, the construction of the third bathroom in my country is relatively slow, even in some big cities, the coverage rate is very low, and it is only seen in some high-end shopping malls and key scenic spots." Liu Siyao believes that the third bathroom, barrier-free toilet, parent The construction of facilities such as baby rooms should keep up as soon as possible, so as to solve the urgent needs of parents and make public travel more comfortable and convenient.

　　Zhang Xiaobing also called for the release of toilet behavior guidelines or toilet behavior rules from the perspective of the principle of being most beneficial to minors, using rules to guide children's toilet behavior, helping children establish a sense of rules, and regulating children in public spaces and public places Behavior and manners, such as not walking around at will, not looking around at will, etc.

In addition, it is necessary to strengthen the publicity of the third bathroom, encourage the public in need to use the third bathroom, and increase the degree of use and recognition.

　　Liu Siyao suggested that gender awareness is not simply telling children that men and women are different, but integrating gender awareness into the entire education system of children.

At the same time, parents should learn to let go appropriately, cultivate children's awareness and ability to be independent and independent, so that they can better adapt to the complex society when they grow up.

　　Wu Mengkai also believes that the words and deeds of parents affect the growth of children, and the establishment of gender awareness in public toilets should start with parents. For example, in the case of mother and baby rooms, third bathrooms, or when parents of the same sex are present, they must resolutely not take their children into toilets of the opposite sex. bathroom.

At the same time, relevant departments should also actively promote public toilet gender awareness education and publicity, and strengthen positive public opinion guidance.

　　(In the text, Lin Yan, Zhong Ge, and Fu Di are all pseudonyms)

　　(Rule of Law Daily)