An apology fixes things sometimes

Dr. Alaa Jarad

Garad@alaagarad.com

January 24, 2023

Life is not devoid of mistakes, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and mistakes are issued by people, institutions and governments as well. Every son of Adam makes mistakes, and as the English proverb says To err is human, and as we know, mistakes may result in remedial and sometimes irreversible effects.

In both cases, the first step that must take place as soon as the mistake is confirmed is an apology, on time and without delay or procrastination, and the one who made a mistake must apologize without delay and without arrogance, followed by an attempt to remedy the mistake and do what is called in the field of quality “compensation for the mistake”. This happens even at the level of institutions, when the train is delayed, for example - at least in Britain - the passenger requests compensation, which is the price of the ticket, and it is actually refunded, and when a plane flight is canceled or delayed in general, the airline compensates the passenger.

Most of the problems that occur in the field of business or in social life are due to denial, arrogance, not admitting a mistake, and trying to find justifications without a single word of apology.

The truth is that the mere word “sorry” has the effect of magic, and sometimes it is enough to return the waters to normal, especially if the apologist meant it and stemmed from the heart. Unfortunately, it seems that many people these days have not heard about the word “sorry” and have not learned it since childhood, and therefore it is considered that An apology is a devaluation, and his pride prevents him from apologizing even if he is absolutely sure that he is at fault, and here the matter gets worse and anger increases on the other side, then he enters into a long stage of stubbornness.

An apology is a characteristic of adults, and it is a noble behavior emanating from a person who is confident in himself, fair in his judgment on matters, who does not suffer from deficiency or conceit, and not only an apology, but also compensation.

It is worth noting that our Arab culture does not favor compensation. For example, if someone spoils something for you, such as a minor car accident, and apologizes to you and expresses his desire to bear the costs of repair, the direct reaction - in the absence of insurance - is that we do not accept compensation, and therefore a mere word of apology without any compensation. It is sufficient to reconcile the dispute, although I personally see the importance of compensation, and that compensation must be accepted and even oblige the wrongdoer to compensate for his mistake if possible, as there are things that cannot be compensated or their impact can be repaired, especially matters such as betrayal or disrespect, or matters related to dignity.

On the other hand, the other party should accept the apology as much as possible, and avoid intransigence and exaggerated self-esteem, especially if the mistake was unintentional and did not cause serious damage. There is no need to exaggerate the drama, because life is too short to limit it to polemics and negative feelings towards others.

I know that there are unforgivable mistakes, and the word “sorry” will not help, but in the end we are human and we must continue and not let anything stop our path.

Just as apologizing is a characteristic of adults and nobles, forgiveness and pardon are also characteristic of adults and nobles.

@Alaa_Garad

Garad@alaagarad.com 

To read the previous articles of the writer please click on its name.  

Garad@alaagarad.com