Stresslaxing: when even relaxing causes you stress

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Surely you have reached the weekend

after a high peak of work or even sometime you were looking forward to taking a vacation and, suddenly,

.

Just when you were finally going to relax.

They are body signals that are alerting us to the latest buzz word on social media,

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A relatively new term, which joins the English words

(

)

when we try to disconnect and feel even worse than before.

Or if we focus on well-being and we are unable to disconnect.

Many have experienced the sensation in a society where

without rest.

A hyperactivity that is even being transferred to leisure thanks to content platforms.

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You are late...

WHY IS IT STRESS RELAXING?

One of the consequences of stress laxing is that we are unable to rest.Shutterstock

"The simplest definition of

corresponds to feeling stressed as a result of activities that are supposed to relax you," explains Bianca Tomasi, a psychologist at Buencoco.

The paradox lies in the fact that when you finally hope to get away from work, recharge your batteries and

, you feel even more tired, stressed and anxious, she says.

"Daily working life, however busy and demanding it may be,

. On the contrary, free time is a space that must be managed according to our preferences, to dedicate it to what we like the most. It is precisely this lack of definition which can worry or even lead some people to a state of anguish", asserts this professional, who gives examples.

Arranging the details of a trip or deciding how best to "make the most of" a vacation are actions that can create difficulties for some people, as they choose to

, according to Tomasi.

Another unexpected threat to free time is

Who am I going to meet, what am I going to eat, what is going to happen?

"These elements should excite and intrigue, but this is not the case if we are experiencing

, then they become threats to our fragility and vulnerability," Tomasi points out.

THE MOST USUAL PROFILE

It happens to all of us that we arrive at the end of the day with the feeling of having achieved nothing.

Or, at least, not enough.Shutterstock

Stresslaxing

characterized by the inability to enjoy the present (especially free moments or rest) and

Sometimes it is linked to the concept of

the workaholics in Spanish.

But it affects even more people who

, or with a tendency to act with a

over everyday situations and who, consequently, do not like changes.

"An interesting theory about

is that this avoids the disappointment of something going wrong in a moment of leisure and pleasure. In short, it is more acceptable to continue worrying than to relax and risk something unexpected ruining your moment of disconnection "Tomasi says.

It is also typical of those who pay a lot of attention to what others think, continues the psychologist.

"Worrying about what others think or say about us can lead us to seem busy all the time,

, and try harder and harder to think well of us. When we inevitably fall short of unrealistic expectations to which we aspire, We feel guilty."

A VICIOUS CIRCLE

Stresslaxing leads

more stress, the need for more control and even more difficulty letting go, says the therapist.

"Precisely for this reason, recognizing that we are

is the first step to break the circle. Denying that we are in a state of anxiety and stress, on the contrary, can only reinforce this situation, since our body will continue to sending out stronger and stronger signals to let us know it's under stress."

It also happens in leisure, because there are movies and series to watch, books to read, exhibitions to see... Many people comment on these news on social networks and this can lead us to feel "out of date", not up to date or even "backward" in issues that are usually related to the field of pleasure and socialization.

"The fear of judgment from others and the need for control can increase the feeling of having

entertainment content as well."

These characteristics overlap with another phenomenon present today, the so-called FOMO (

).

"This term refers to the inability to manage free time due to

: choosing what to do inevitably means excluding other options. This can lead to experiencing great anxiety."

USEFUL TOOLS

• Recognize the signs of stress.

  Our body sends us clear signals that we are beyond our tolerance threshold, says Bianca Tomasi.

  "Constant feelings of anxiety, unsatisfactory sleep, dizziness, sweating, and rapid heartbeat are all signs of perpetual alertness. Coming out of denial is already a first step."

• Finding solutions.

  Once the causes of stress have been identified, we can act to minimize its effects, says the psychologist.

  "By reducing stress in daily work life, we break the vicious circle that prevents us from enjoying rest."

• Give us "cane".

  When it comes to leisure time, it's important to remember that passive activities like sleeping, meditating, or watching a movie aren't the only way to keep us busy, Tomasi details.

  So does a boxing class.

  "Indulging in creative, highly intense or energetic activities that involve movement can have a strongly relaxing effect, leaving us feeling satisfied with our use of free time, as well as rejuvenated."

CONCLUSIONS

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It is normal that we sometimes feel irritated and frustrated even in moments of pleasure.

It happens to all of us that we arrive at the end of the day with the feeling of having achieved nothing.

Or at least not enough.

"These small

are not indicative of a problem in themselves and there is nothing special in that we do not always manage to enjoy our free time to the fullest," says the psychologist.

However, if we recognize that every week we fear the weekend approaching, that we prefer to work late than dedicate time to ourselves, and that this is repeated systematically, the psychologist suggests that perhaps it is time to stop for a moment and ask ourselves: "What is really

and what can I change in my life to reduce it?"

So no "stretching out".

She reminds

is the most important thing.

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