Perhaps in the future, Wu Dong will not dream of returning to the classroom again and again.
In 2015, after dropping out of college for the second time, the dream of returning to the classroom would appear two or three times a year without warning.
The most "outrageous" time was when I dreamed that I was still in elementary school.
"I know I'm dreaming, but I can't wake up. Is this dream a lifetime?"
In 2008, Wu Dong was admitted to Beijing University of Chemical Technology and dropped out after a year and a half.
In 2011, he was admitted to an undergraduate university in Sichuan Province again, but after a one-year suspension, he chose to drop out of school for the second time in 2015.
The two dropouts were related to online games.
This year, 32-year-old Wu Dong took the college entrance examination for the third time and was admitted to Sichuan Agricultural University majoring in pharmaceutical preparations with a total score of 570.
Like a dream, after more than 10 years of "discussion", Wu Dong finally returned to the classroom.
Recently, Wu Dong's schooling story has been reprinted by many media accounts, arousing concern.
A few days ago, he told the Red Star News reporter about this special life trajectory.
Chengdu Commercial Daily-Red Star News reporter Yu Zunsu
1
● Drop out, repeat, retake the college entrance examination, leave school...
Wu Dong took the college entrance examination three times in total.
In 2008, in the first college entrance examination, Wu Dong scored 603 points. In that year, he scored 593 points in the first line of science in the non-extended examination area of Sichuan. He was successfully admitted to the computer-related major of Beijing University of Chemical Technology.
But a year and a half later, Wu Dong offered to drop out.
"At that time, I couldn't understand the class, and I failed half of the class."
Failing classes is related to playing games.
Wu Dong said that before he proposed to drop out of school, the counselor talked to him and did several psychological counseling, but he did not "shake" his heart to play games at all, and even chose the computer major at that time because he loved playing games.
"The monthly living expenses of 1,000 yuan, 500 yuan are used to play games." Wu Dong said that during that time, the Internet cafes stayed all night and slept during the day.
If you really can't escape the class, you dozed off in class.
"Classes are all 'mixed' in the past."
"If the foundation of the freshman year is not well laid, the second year will be even more difficult to learn, and my willpower is not particularly strong. It is not like others who have been left behind for a while. If you bite your teeth, you can still catch up with your studies." Wu Dong said, he felt that Anyway, I can't understand it anymore, so let's drop out of school.
When the parents received the school's withdrawal notice, "it was done", shocked, surprised, and more sad.
After returning home for half a year, Wu Dong and his parents had several small verbal conflicts, but they all ended in a cold war.
Disappointed parents "let it go" without restricting freedom or giving living expenses. Wu Dong has no money to play games anymore.
In the September 2010 school season, Wu Dong thought, let's go back to study.
"It seems that apart from reading, I don't know what I can do."
Parents support the idea of re-reading, and the high school class teacher also supports it, "Just study hard when you come back."
That year, Wu Dong said that his state was not good, and he occasionally played games secretly, but the head teacher kept it under control.
Fortunately, it is not long before high school graduation, and there is still a foundation. In the 2011 college entrance examination, Wu Dong scored 515 points, only 4 points away from the first line of science.
This is not much different from Wu Dong's goal. "One online and offline book can be read in a public undergraduate college."
This time, Wu Dong was admitted to the applied physics major of a university in the province. "I don't know what to choose when I choose a major, but I have always been a representative of the physics class, and my grades are always full marks."
After entering the school, the university's professional courses and high school textbooks have different rigor.
"Mechanics alone is divided into the 'Four Mechanics', and the requirements for calculation and advanced numbers are very high." In Wu Dong's view, the academic nature of pure theoretical disciplines is too strong. go down.
Wu Dong began to frequent Internet cafes again.
Not surprisingly, at the end of the first semester, Wu Dong failed again.
At the end of the first academic year, the school recommends a one-year leave of absence.
"It doesn't matter if you leave school if you leave school." After returning home, Wu Dong worked as a warehouse manager in a factory in his home town.
In September 2013, resumed school.
Wu Dong wanted to re-read from the freshman year, but the idea was rejected.
My mother also came to a restaurant near the school to work and study with her.
This made Wu Dong feel on pins and needles.
"She doesn't scold you or talk about you, but it feels like it's (my) 'wrong' for (she) to stand there."
Discomfort, resistance, even suffocation.
Wu Dong said that the game photos are correct, and it has become commonplace to fail subjects.
"Especially during the exam, sitting in the exam room, I really scratched my ears, and finally gave a blank." Wu Dong said, except for sports, other subjects that require a little effort are only 20 to 30 points.
In addition, what made Wu Dong "losing his freedom" uncomfortable was the vision of others in his imagination, "Students must be thinking, who goes to college and takes their parents?" But no one mentioned it face to face, but Wu Dong thought, "Maybe they Discussed behind the scenes."
Finally, in 2015, Wu Dong, who was supposed to graduate, dropped out of school for the second time due to taking a break from school.
Until this year, Wu Dong re-entered the examination room for the college entrance examination after reviewing for half a year, and finally passed the Sichuan Agricultural University with a score of 570.
2
● I don't know what to do except play games
Wu Dong was born in an ordinary rural family. His parents were farming. Sometimes Wu's father went out to work with the village's engineering team.
Like his parents, he is an introvert and few words.
In junior high school and high school, Wu Dong has always been "the child of someone else's family". He doesn't have to worry about his parents, and his grades have always been good. In parallel classes (except key classes), he can rank in the top three.
However, since the age of 12, Wu Dong left home to live in the town.
There is a vacation every three weeks, so there is not much communication with the parents.
"Maybe it's too early for independence."
The first time Wu Dong entered the Internet cafe was in the first year of high school. With a curious attitude, "I went there once in the entire first year of high school." Wu Dong said that the weekends of the second and third year of high school were relatively frequent.
Wu Dong remembered that the first all-nighter, the stand-alone version of "StarCraft", he played all night.
After he was admitted to the university in Beijing, "the sky is high and the emperor is far away", Wu Dong plunged into the game world.
Online games and competitive games, he also "grew up" in the game world.
Online games are mostly role-playing, and an account is a character, starting a number, fighting monsters, upgrading, brushing equipment, playing dungeons, and chatting with game friends... Wu Dong said that a person in the game world will not talk to the outside world. People in the world communicated, "Happiness in the game is over." The living expenses are not much, and it is impossible to buy equipment with "krypton gold".
How do you feel when you're not playing games?
Wu Dong said that his heart was itching.
When he repeated his studies for the first time, Wu Dong would also go to the Internet cafe for a one-hour lunch break.
"Actually, it's not that I have to play games, but I don't know what to do besides playing games." Wu Dong's description of "Internet addiction" is essentially escapism, not a certain game.
"Even if it's just to get on the line and take a look."
Knowing that indulging in games is not good, but "knowing your mistakes and not changing them".
The craziest one was when he just came home from school, he stole 1,000 yuan from the family and ran away from home.
Not far, an hour away from home by shuttle bus, to the Internet cafe near the high school, this is the only place he is familiar with.
"I also thought about going out to work, but the idea of playing prevailed." Wu Dong said.
Internet cafes are the cheapest, you don't need to rent a house, and it costs more than 10 yuan to stay overnight.
When you wake up from sleep, you fight, and when you get tired, you fall back to sleep.
There is a small restaurant opposite the Internet cafe. Except for going out to eat, Wu Dong did not go anywhere for a whole month.
How do you feel after a night of gaming?
"Empty." Wu Dong described that the whole person was erratic.
A month later, with no money left, Wu Dong returned home in despair.
He only remembered that the first person he saw when he opened the door should be his father.
"Have you been beaten?" "No." Wu Dong said, because beating is useless.
It's like when my mother was studying with her, she found that Wu Dong was playing games again.
Wu Dong, who was accustomed to the cold war with his parents, still confronted him in silence, without defending or answering.
3
● Looking for a job: an annual ordeal
"I feel that the school is not good, the major is not good, and I feel that it is the same thing with or without a graduation certificate. It doesn't matter." Describing his second withdrawal from school, Wu Dong said that it was nothing more than young and frivolous.
If it is said that he was a warehouse keeper in a town factory when he dropped out of school, Wu Dong still "has a high opinion of himself" and "thinks that I have read books, which is different from them"; then after dropping out of school for the second time, the reality is indeed harsh. I slapped myself - you can't hand in a beautiful resume, the threshold for a diploma is there, and you can't find a good job.
What can be done?
In addition to physical work, games were the only circle Wu Dong was "familiar with", and it was the only thing that could bring him a sense of security and comfort at that time.
Can't go to a large company, Wu Dong can only find a customer service job in a game studio.
Said to be a studio, in fact, the boss rented a suite in the community, equipped with a few computers, and received orders for game boosting from the Taobao online store.
Playing games is a day and night job. For convenience, everyone eats and lives together.
"The boss's business is complicated, and he even sold apples for a while." Wu Dong sneered.
In 2017, Wu Dong went to Xinjiang, where his university friend is located, to open a game boosting studio together.
But half a year later, when the Spring Festival was approaching, looking at the vast snow, "suddenly I felt homesick and came back." Later, Wu Dong felt that maybe that was the closest he had ever been to "success".
In fact, Wu Dong has almost never actually done a game booster. Outside of customer service work, he is just playing games.
"When the "World of Warcraft" nostalgic server first came out, I took an order, and others didn't take it." Wu Dong played day and night for a month, rising from beginner to level 60, earning 2,000 yuan, but " vomited."
Every time looking for a job, it became Wu Dong's most tormented time.
And such torment is experienced on average once a year.
Anxiety started as soon as I walked out of school, but it only became stronger as I got older.
The family has been urging blind dates and marriages, but Wu Dong felt that he had drifted for a few years and had nothing, so what would he marry?
When he was in college in Beijing, Wu Dong had an online dating relationship for half a year, and the other party was a girl from Nanjing. "Actually, I took her to play games and make copies." what?"
When I was working in Chengdu, I also fell in love, "I was not motivated at that time, and I didn't reply to messages when I played games." In just a few months, his girlfriend left in disappointment.
In 2020, Wu Dong will return to his hometown again.
"Find a job steadfastly. In a few years, my parents will help me with some money to buy a house, get married and have children." Wu Dong said, this may be a more reliable way.
The only choice is the hometown factory. No age or education is required. The job content is to work in an environmental protection company, dealing with soil polluted by fossil fuel mining.
Compared with the high temperature of 30 to 40 degrees Celsius maintained in the workshop all the year round, what is more unbearable is the low-frequency noise emitted by the machine for a long time.
Wu Dong said that every month, the 34 tons of chemical materials needed by the workshop, he and his co-workers will be removed from the car bag by bag, "a bag of 25 kilograms, seven or eight people, on average, each time Hundreds of bags to carry."
"If I can learn skills and have room for improvement in this job, maybe I won't leave." Wu Dong's other co-workers are in their 40s and even in their 60s, and Wu Dong, who is in his 30s, seems to be in They saw at a glance the next ten years, and even their own life.
The biggest difference comes from my peers. It turned out that my classmates were not as good as my own.
And myself, nothing.
The strangest thing is the recurring dreams.
Dreaming of the classroom, dreaming of returning to middle school and primary school.
"Subconsciously, you should regret dropping out. If you stay like this all your life, you may regret it in the end."
4
● “This time, there is a goal”
Wu Dong decided to retake the college entrance examination.
At the end of 2021, he quit his job and studied online courses by himself for three months, but he could only review the knowledge points once.
Later, with the help of his alma mater, he was able to borrow and return to the tight learning rhythm of the third year of high school - one paper a day, Wu Dong also regained his feeling.
In 2022, the first line of science in Sichuan Province was 515 points, and Wu Dong scored 570 points.
In the end, Wu Dong chose to apply for Sichuan Agricultural University.
"For future employment, in traditional science and engineering industries, there are more age restrictions. I grew up in the countryside and studied agronomy, and at least I can return to farming in the countryside." This is Wu Dong's consideration.
Two months after the start of school, Wu Dong's mobile phone page is the class schedule for this semester, and the classroom and library are almost two points and one line, he said, this feeling is great.
On the afternoon of November 2, Sichuan Agricultural University organized a public defense for 20 outstanding student pacesetters.
"Either the grade point is the first in the whole grade, or the undergraduate has published a paper." Wu Dong, who was sitting in the audience, was not envious, and secretly decided that he wanted to be the person standing on the stage. If he could, after undergraduate, he would still Hope to continue my studies.
I can't tell when it started, Wu Dong has stopped playing games, and there are still 3 game software on the mobile phone, which have not been updated for half a year.
"Even when I sit in front of the computer, I don't even remember to open the game." Wu Dong said.
On November 1st, the official WeChat account of Sichuan Agricultural University was titled "32-year-old freshman, come to Sichuan Agricultural University from scratch!
” tweet about Wu Dong’s experience of dropping out of school twice from indulging in games and re-entering university at the age of 32.
Some people say inspirational, some praise courage, and some negative comments.
"I also feel uncomfortable seeing (bad reviews), but I filter them out, after all, it's my own choice."
Wu Dong said that some people are talented, some people are late bloomers, and no one's life trajectory is static.
But he was certain that he would not repeat the same mistakes again, "This time, there is a goal."