Some (ex)exhausted parents: "We looked for a sleep coach because we were up to our nightcaps with the girls in our arms"

• Motherhood Natural women after childbirth: how to teach the body without complexes

• Wellness What is breast engorgement and how can it be prevented at home?

• Upbringing Bubble families or why we raise alone (and four nails to hold on to)

Although we know that there are cheat-children who sleep like blessed ones just out of the delivery room, the majority perception points to babies with

.

Very intermittent, actually.

Exhaustingly intermittent, we might add.

The crux of the matter is that for them there is no such thing as day or night, which is why the nightlife of families usually has a devastating hustle and bustle.

Babies sometimes wake up because of hunger, sometimes because of cold, sometimes because of heat, sometimes just because.

In this way, in the collective imagination, the parents of a newborn are

, who drag their feet out of sheer fatigue and who do not exude the best of humours.

The phrase "sleep fast" becomes for them a paradise that vanishes night after night.

Weeks, months and even years can go by, and nothing, that the child keeps waking up...

To accompany parents in this forced insomnia or, rather, to help them abandon those tremendous vigils, there is advice from grandmothers, mothers-in-law and friends and also two bedside books that became popular a few years ago: the famous

, with a highly criticized method because it teaches how to sleep by letting children cry if necessary, and

, whose title already shows its contrary spirit.

"In three days, my son went on to sleep 12 hours at a stretch"

Shutterstock

Not everyone has to fit one current or another.

Or maybe they have already tried everything... It is from this legion of desperate fathers and mothers who are dying of sleep that the figure of

which for a few years has also become popular in Spain.

Alberto and Chío had beautiful twins who preferred to fall asleep in their parents' arms, after much rocking and singing.

It is already known that 1 + 1 is not two and that is why, in the summer of 2021, these first-time parents declared themselves

"I spent more time in the car than in another place, because when driving they slept well but then... you had to take them out without waking them up!" says Alberto.

They were tired, irritable, with no time for themselves... So he decided to find a sleep coach who could help them with the girls.

"We adjusted some routines and Emma [Salado] taught us tricks like

, for example. It's about them falling asleep in a conscious way, so that when they wake up, they know where they are and they don't get scared", bill.

Since then, "everything has totally changed."

"From 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. you have time for yourself, because

Before, it was unthinkable. Also, if we want to go out one night, we can leave them with the grandparents, because we no longer have to be the ones who let's sleep", concludes the father.

A month and a half ago,

, also decided to turn to one of these professionals.

"After returning from vacation she woke up a lot and we couldn't get her to sleep. We ended up picking her up, putting her in our bed... We slept terrible," she says.

She and her partner,

, were exhausted and their personal relationship also began to deteriorate.

"I was skeptical, but the change has been incredible. It has been the best decision I have ever made in my life," she says.

Carmen explains that the coach explained to them what a baby's dream was like and gave them simple but decisive guidelines: "Schedules are very important, the time of dinner,

about your room and crib, lowering the blinds for an hour before putting him to sleep..."

For her, the change has been crucial: "In three days, she

, in her room and with the door closed."

Now, at 8:00 p.m., 'there is no child', as they say.

Is magic?

Shutterstock

Although Carmen believes that there was magic in her house,

or a prodigious secret formula: their function is to give guidelines to families with routines and good sleeping habits and, later, useful tools to face the night.

"My son did not sleep and I did not find any solution other than letting him cry," says

, one of the first certified sleep coaches in our country.

As a result of this personal situation, she began to investigate and obtained answers from an American professional.

Shortly after she decided to train and for seven years she has been advising other families.

In this time, she has personally attended more than

Why do we need a 'coach' for children to sleep?

"People who don't rest and who don't want to let their children cry seek me out," says Sesé.

She began with face-to-face assistance, but she admits to being "overwhelmed with work" and uses the Internet to offer her work through different courses and plans.

"They come to us because children don't come with an

They give you a baby and get by," he adds.

But hasn't it always been like this?

Why do we need professional advisers when we have children?

midwife and child sleep coach, explains: "We have lost the tribe, we raise in solitude and that is why we do not see how to breastfeed other mothers, how they sleep their children... Now we do not know how some stuff".

"In addition, we have different demands than our grandmothers.

, we cannot take a nap in the morning at the same time as our son and with many awakenings, it is impossible to give up. Many come

, that's why they seek help ", Add.

And he insists that with good habits and routines, it is possible to reduce awakenings from 6 or 7 to two.

The services offered by sleep advisors are very diversified, in terms of content and price.

They range from

(small informative pills) to personalized online plans with daily monitoring, which usually last three or four weeks and are around

, going through specific consultations, to about

Shutterstock

If you practice co-

(out of desire, not survival) or breast-feed your child, you can also turn to a 'coach' to correct imbalances or overcome stages.

"I just helped a mother who wanted to give up co-sleeping and nighttime nursing with her two-year-old son. Little by little we have achieved it and the child sleeps in her room," says Emma Salado.

This expert points out that at 4 months of age, she has an uptick in consultations: "At that time, children go from having

, and that is why they begin to wake up more. It is normal, it is part of maturation brain, but parents get overwhelmed.

Salado says that between 6 and 8 months of life, sleep habits can already be worked on to ensure that a child does not go to bed at 11 p.m. and does not have the blissful

nearby : "It is not about teaching sleep, the children already know, but they do need to adjust routines so that they sleep eleven or twelve hours, which is what they usually need".

In this case, his 'patients' are not just babies, since "the dream matures between 2 and 7 years of life," he concludes.

What do pediatricians say about infant sleep?

MM

The Spanish Society of Outpatient Pediatrics and Primary Care (Sepeap), offers on its website some advice for parents on the much-hyped issue of infant sleep.

It presents them divided by age groups, from newborn babies to

.

It also establishes when some behavior or inertia deserves a

.

These are the assumptions:

During the day

, if the child has:

Poor school performance,

and memory problems at school

-Hyperactivity (is more active than normal)

-Aggressiveness, irritability, behavior problems

-If you sleep more in an unjustified way

-Frequent accidents

-Growing pains

-

in the morning

-Delayed weight and height

-In children over 5 years of age, if they fall asleep during the day

During the night

, if the child has:

-Frequent awakenings (is older than 1 year and requires the presence of parents

, more than 3 nights a week)

-Takes more than 30 minutes to fall asleep, cries or refuses to sleep

-

regularly without having a cold

-Difficulty getting up in the morning

Conforms to The Trust Project criteria

Know more

• Maternity