Can a couple survive an infidelity like that of Íñigo Onieva to Tamara Falcó?

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Although

is not a plate of pleasure for anyone (well, for someone it may be, the unfaithful), the truth is that it is not the same that your partner is unfaithful to you after 20 years of relationship than in full courtship.

An infidelity when you are in the early stages of your relationship sends a

particularly

, and tells you that things are starting off on the wrong foot, specifically, and far beyond the sexual issue, because of mistrust.

Could a couple survive an infidelity of this type?

In statements to Yo Dona, the clinical psychologist Juan Moisés de la Serna explained that while the infidel tends to

without taking into account the loss that his behavior may imply, "until it is too late", it is generated in his ' victim', beyond the pain that a blow of this type entails, "sometimes irreversible distrust".

"She is the

", added the psychologist, "that she is usually emotionally

the one that is most marked by infidelity and distrust in the face of the possibility of a new

".

Victims of infidelity who do not 'give up'

Of course, there are also

who, even knowing that they have hit rock bottom, are reluctant to give up.

And they are not few.

62% of men and 51% of women would be willing to forgive, according to a survey conducted by Gleeden.com.

"You have to

and you have to know how to forgive, if the relationship is really worth it," Dona

a doctor in psychology specializing in emotional and health disorders, pointed out to Yo when asked about it.

The 'recipe' to overcome this obstacle is not exactly simple.

Because to begin with, the expert explained, you have to

reflect and share with your partner the personal reasons that have led to

(something that not everyone is prepared to do).

"Maybe it was a way to break the monotony, or

or maybe he was going through a moment of

And if the above is complicated, for those who have suffered infidelity, the process is even more complicated.

Because

, Vanesa Fernández explained, "means

to be part of the solution, leaving what happened behind."

If in addition, as in the case of Tamara Falcó, the discovery of infidelity has not occurred in the private sphere but has been publicized, as is the case, the feeling of

is multiplied by a thousand, making it very difficult to reconciliation.

Cut to the chase, the best option?

For the psychologist

technical director of Clínicas Origen, an infidelity of this type is an intense emotional experience in the face of which it is very difficult to make decisions.

Now, when it is clear that what happened has crossed the red lines and that infidelity is not going to be forgiven, then, when it is absolutely clear, "making the decision quickly has a

but In

the medium and long term, it brings

since you have defended your values, your limits. In addition, he adds, over time, when the wound has healed, the decision can personally reaffirm, bring pride and self-esteem".

For those who have been cheated on, when they thought they were having a hard time with their partner, the

is really difficult to cope with.

He also always flies over the suspicion that "if they have caught you, in some way, it is because you have asked for it", that is, because you wanted to.

says

in 'El fin del amor' (Seix Barral) that "men's hearts are broken, no one denies it, but in most of the stories that come to nothing, those where the central leitmotif is

and

, the ones

who suffer the most are the girls (...)", and wonders next: "Why so often in the hetero world does it seem that they are, constantly and unilaterally,

Male detachment in the spotlight

The answer must be found, he explains, in

a predominant strategy among men that would rest on the fact that

Indifference is not feeling 'trapped' by a woman or allowing her to decide if a relationship progresses or not.

Thus, 'problematic' women (those who want to take charge of a relationship, for example) are systematically ignored.

It is clear that in a certain way, Íñigo Onieva has made use of that 'indifference' with Tamara Falcó, he has ignored her through her infidelity.

Perhaps as revenge for her dominance in the public sphere, for her 'dominant' role in her partner?

Was Tamara Falcó that 'problematic woman' that Tamara Tenenbaum talks about in her book?

For

(author of books such as 'Haz el amor como un animal' (ed. Planeta) or 'I Love You But I'm Not in Love With You', not published in Spain), when what is in game is a family with children, perhaps it is worth stopping, listening to the other, trying to understand their point of view and

when the different needs collide.

Perhaps, he explains, this can help the couple "find a way through this madness and restore their love for each other."

Given that it is not the case of Tamara Falcó and Íñigo Onieva, it does not seem that this is going to be the way in any case.

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