Boredom, irritability, reluctance... How to overcome post-holiday depression as a couple?

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Love, and lack of

, have a lot to do with self-esteem.

This is stated in a study led by Professor of Psychology Margaret Clark, from Yale University (USA), which concluded that the better opinion one has of oneself, the healthier the affective bonds with others and, therefore, less is the risk of

in love affairs.

Something that can explain, at least to some extent, why a good part of the Spanish population is currently suffering from what is already known as post-

in

.

A more common situation than it seems that can come to nothing or end in a very bad way, causing a

that leads to a breakup.

The phenomenon is not so foreign;

put into

, during the past year there was an

of 13.2% in divorces and separations coinciding with the return of the summer

, according to data from the National Institute of Statistics (INE).

Why just when the

days are over , after enjoying what is in principle the best time of the year?

Well, that's exactly why, experts point out.

"demands a readaptation to our

, because during the holidays most of the time everything is different. Anyone goes through this process, which is highly conditioned by our

. It is an individual post-holiday stress that conditions everything that surrounds us and also our sentimental

", explains the psychologist Sebastián Girona, a specialist in bonds and couple relationships and author of the books 'I can't stand you anymore' and 'Every one by his side'.

“It is a situation that can affect only one of the

, or both, or it even happens that sometimes one infects the other,” says the expert.

And it can also occur in couples who have an excellent relationship, "although the stronger the

, the easier it will be for them to go through the

that this

without causing a major conflict," he says.

Because the good news is that this

is over;

"The normal thing is to get out of the situation

and in a relatively short time, on average, a couple of weeks," says Girona.

Beyond this period, beware, it can significantly affect the relationship and put it in

.

In that case, it is time to go to

individual or couples

And the sooner the better.

"As with any medical problem,

plays for or against, the earlier the

is addressed , the greater the room for manoeuvre. If you feel that after a few weeks the

does not subside, it is a serious problem", warns the specialist.

The objective is to avoid a separation or even a

, a process that

went through in 2021, most of them between the ages of 40 and 49 and a

that has lasted an average of 16.5 years, according to recent data published by the INE in its 'Statistics on Annulments, Separations and Divorces'.

Symptoms of post-holiday depression in the couple

The goal is to identify the

to prevent the problem from escalating.

"Giving a name to things provides a certain

over them. The first step to overcome post-holiday depression in the couple is to be aware of it, both the person who suffers from it and the person who accompanies them in case it does not affect them," says

How

?

"In general, it is manifested by a lack of desire to do together what was previously liked and produced pleasure," says the specialist.

"It translates into

and apathy, into a

to connect with the other party, who if they don't suffer from it, they don't understand what's going on either. You don't enjoy it as a couple and, just like in a normal depression, it appears boredom,

, listlessness and lack of energy".

Also some physical symptoms, such as "

changes and problems falling

," says Girona.

When that low mood only affects one of the members of the couple, the other can only

: "At those times demanding attention is completely counterproductive," adds Girona.

"The best way to deal with it is to know what is happening and help from

, in the sense of dealing with problems little by little and leaving space. It is not time to sue, it is time to

".

reset the order

And what can someone who suffers from it do?

For starters, restore

to everyday life, even if it sounds unromantic.

"You have to

things, schedules and even leisure. The couple must gradually return to the

they had before the holidays, a time when we get disorganized and then it takes its toll," says

, who recommends " patience and solve problems one by one. Adaptation should come within a maximum

of two weeks, if that time is extended to two months it means that the stress has become something else".

Quality time

The return to

generates another source of stress associated with post-holiday depression in the couple: housework.

Facing them after a time without

can make "the worst parts of our personality come to light, which causes confrontations and

, something that increases especially when one of the parties is not in the habit of managing certain tasks," says the health psychologist Esperanza Martínez.

According to the latest data from the INE, in Spain there are 10.3 million people who live as a

.

Of them, 52% - around 5.3 million people in national terms - acknowledge having

habitual for housework, according to a study by the company TaskRabbit.

The results of this report indicate that 40% of these

have not transcended beyond a momentary

, but 10% of the couples acknowledge having maintained silence for a whole day, and even 4% have raised

which means some 212,000 Spaniards.

"Spending quality time with your partner is essential, and if the time spent putting up the shelves or cleaning the cupboards is a source of

, delegating is the key," says

who also advises "distributing the tasks from Monday to Friday and not leave them for the weekend, a period associated in our subconscious with

".

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