• Can you be friends with an ex, like Irina Shayk and Bradley Cooper?

  • Dating apps: how to make healthy use without living frustrated

The breakup of judge Santiago Pedraz (63 years old) and Esther Doña (44 years old) by WhatsApp, as she explained, and only a week after announcing their engagement in a gossip magazine, has left

half of Spain stunned

and waiting for the next chapter.

These things happen.

It is true that they are not digital natives, but neither age nor lineage force them to behave like the latest troubadours.

Life today takes place on WhatsApp and the material it can accumulate is fascinating: love, passion, desire, lack of love, disappointment, disappointment, fight and disappointment.

That is to say, the same forces that pack our biographies since the world is a world.

The ex-wife of the Marquis of Griñón has said that she received a message that said

"our relationship is impossible, we will talk one day, take care of yourself and kisses".

From that moment, absolute silence.

She says that she is surprised by the way she acts.

For her part, the judge has declared that she realized that this person is not the same person with whom she fell in love with her.

Is it the most correct way to break?

Is there cowardice in this way of ending a relationship taking advantage of the distance from the mobile?

ways to break

Perhaps we should play it down, since it is a more common way of acting than our astonished eyes want to see.

More than half of millennials avoid breaking up with their partners face-to-face.

61% use mobile phones, according to the market research firm YouGov.

From the age of 55, the percentage drops to 27%, enough to understand that times are changing.

Technology is not much more ruthless than a sad goodbye post-it in the mirror or more insensitive than any other more conventional form of rupture that we can think of.

Such a scenario requires expert judgment.

The

psychologist Jesús Matos

advises, first of all, to move away from the dichotomy of whether it is good or bad to break up on WhatsApp and think that it is one more use that we give to this application.

"Just as it is in our lives for other types of situations, it is also present in our relationships," he advances.

In his opinion, the important thing when one of the two makes the decision to break up is not so much the means he chooses to communicate it, but the manners and skills.

"Conversation is fundamental because, at the time of mourning,

it will be decisive that the person left behind knows the reasons

and knows what has happened," he adds.

The benefits of talking

The lack of clarity in an unexpected event, the bewilderment of what is not said and sowing confusion in our heads can be maddening.

"If you don't know what to blame it on - indicates Matos - it will make your head spin and it is likely that you will draw the

wrong conclusions.

For this reason, a conversation on WhatsApp is better than no conversation at all."

He points out that it may even be the right option if you have reached a level of discomfort that makes it difficult to talk without getting upset, without arguing heatedly and without throwing all those reproaches that may have been accumulating for years.

The psychologist does not ignore that, sometimes, the couple is so worn out, "without affection and without love", that the message is taken as the first gesture of honesty in a long time and it is good because it will allow them to face the duel.

The difficult thing is when only one of the two is completely sure of what he is doing

and leaves the other in a sea of ​​doubts, even more so if it is a long union.

"From this message of rupture, the person will have to begin to redistribute their time and their activities and learn to live without the other. The more years they have lived together, the more things they share and the more they will have to row. Therefore, it will be logical that cost more. However, there are hyperintense griefs that are poorly managed with a month-long relationship, even worse than after 20 years of union."

bravery and cowardice

As for whether or not the WhatsApp breakup is cowardly, as Plato said, no one is more hated than someone who tells the truth.

Especially if it is painful.

"It will always be better to break up in an unconventional or worse way than to continue in a relationship that is hurting us.

The reason may not be a lack of courage, but the best possible option to avoid an unnecessary crossing of shouts, complaints and accusations. Matos insists.

Cowardly or brave, the WhatsApp resource does not justify, according to the expert, gratuitous damage or the grief that the lack of explanation can cause.

"In one way or another, in the end

the important thing is to detail the reasons so that the other understands the breakup.

It is important to make ourselves understood. It may make sense to break up for now and postpone the reasons for when you are calmer. There are thousands of formulas, but the right thing to do is to provide the possibility for them to explain themselves, ask questions and resolve their doubts".

Ghosting disappearing like a ghost is neither courteous nor brave.

Conforms to The Trust Project criteria

Know more

  • lifestyle

  • couples