Summer loves, how to keep the flame burning even in September

• The 'chiringuito diet', what to eat on vacation without an extra caloric cost

• How to optimize the schedule to sleep well even during the heat wave?

  The experts answer

• Thank you, yes, but until when?

Summer

always seems like a good time to

.

Perhaps due to the lack of schedules, worries or because we relax, sometimes even our expectations, the truth is that during the

a good part of Spaniards without

enjoys a

and an even greater number looks for it without finding it.

This is what they say from the platform to meet people

According to their surveys, 61% of Spaniards have had a summer love and no less than 80% would like to fall in

during the

.

What is the reason for this tendency to

that normally arises by the sea?

"During the summer numerous changes take place in our

that cause us to intensify some

, such as those related to love," explains the TherapyChat Clinical Content team, led by

, health psychologist and Clinical Content Officer.

"A good part of our biological being and some factors related to the environment facilitate the process of falling in

," she says.

That is to say, it seems to be a matter of

: the good weather and the warmth encourage

.

"The longer days and the increase in

levels to increase

and our mood to improve significantly," the experts point out, adding that, in addition, more

is produced , a substance that is involved in motivation, memory and attention, and, above all, "generates a greater sense of

".

Does it seem little?

Well, we must also add the role of

, which rise just like the thermometer in summer, and with them,

the triangle of love

All in all, the summer and vacation cocktail seems like the perfect breeding ground for a summer relationship.

But is it love or not?

Rather it is " falling in

, that first phase in which the most passionate feelings predominate, such as interpersonal attraction and physical attraction2, says

a psychologist at the Essential Psychology Center in Madrid. And from there "it may or may not arise, what we call love or a stable love relationship," he explains.

Because according to the theories collected by the American psychologist and professor at Cornell University

(1986) in his work 'The triangle of love', this needs three components: intimacy, passion and commitment.

"

refers to mutual trust, communication, shared experiences, closeness and sincerity. When this component is the only one that exists, it would be more of a friendship relationship," says Elisa López.

"the

refers to affective, sensual and sexual desire.

It is a physical attraction.

It is usually more intense at the beginning of the relationship and stabilizes as it progresses.

When only passion is present, we can say that it is a relationship between lovers that can work in a short period of time", continues the expert. Finally, "the

would be the agreement between both to maintain the relationship in the long term". There are many types, he says, "in the case of the couple, it focuses on the decision to generate more intimacy and passion over time," and is closely related "to exclusivity and dedication to the person."

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Love or passion?

Sternberg

would have it clear, summer love is passionate and, therefore, infatuation without more, which is not little.

It is also defined by Ana Romero, a therapist at NuevaMente Psiclogos, in Malaga.

"It is a characteristic feeling of the first phases of a couple relationship. It appears in a short period of time, a stage in which a series of changes are triggered at the brain level led by a series of

(chemical substances in our brain) such as dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine or serotonin.

effect is similar to that of some types of

Thus, the popular phrase 'love is like a drug' is not very far from reality," says

But, continues the psychologist, "as with

, after a period of continued consumption, the brain generates

to the presence of these substances, that is, it gets

to it . And this causes the disappearance of the infatuation phase" .

The 'I don't feel the same as before' usually arrives coinciding with the end of the

and the return to routine.

"Somehow, the pleasant sensations and high levels of

caused by these substances are constantly sought," says Romero.

The story doesn't always

that way though.

"Once the infatuation phase is over, love as such can begin to

. It builds more

and is more rational," she says.

And this is where

comes into play .

"You have to feel free and comfortable to be able to express what we want in a clear and sincere way, with the desire to listen to the other party, always respecting that we may not expect the same thing," adds

"Communication is very important to, first, clarify what we are at this moment and, later, what we want to be in

. That being said, it does not sound very

, but it's a necessary thing in every relationship."

That the flame does not go out

What seems clear is that the continuity of the bond once the summer is over will depend on the

and flexibility of both spouses to establish new

.

And if there is a will, there are some keys that make the path easier.

So that the flame does not go out, the psychologists of

reveal five key points:

• Good humor,

  laughter and affection.

  It is essential that the fun in the couple is not lost when we face the routine of our day to day and return to work.

  "We all like to be surrounded by others who transmit good feelings."

• Plan

  new getaways.

  Do not let the relationship fall into a rut.

  Organizing getaways to places that interest both of you and that are unknown to each other can be a good way to continue the bond.

• Effective communication.

  It is about speaking with a willingness to listen to what the other has to tell us.

  "We must be empathetic and if any misunderstanding or doubt arises, not assume that our partner has to guess what is happening to us or how we feel," they explain.

• Keep the desire.

  It is important that the day-to-day routine does not make us lose intimacy and desire, and that spaces are created to enjoy it.

• Establish

  life projects together.

  It is decisive that both parties see and want their partner to be present in all their future plans, as well as that values ​​are shared and there is complicity.

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