I know almost nothing about Tsoi - he came into my life only in the 93rd.
Don't throw your pitchfork - I'll try to explain...
A long time ago, in 1986, when the Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University became quite an official alma mater for me and life changed beyond recognition in terms of the internal landscape and climatic intensity of passions, one of my classmates, who also fell slightly on vinyl and had just returned from the army , gave me an important and not quite then heard by me thought, even an authoritative judgment.
I destroyed his brain with the task of finding a rock encyclopedia and all sorts of books “read about ...” as soon as possible, and further down the list, and he took me away from the front staircase towards the notorious buffet and, perching at a table, in the middle of the infernal culturological rumble of young ladies and princes said: “Dude!
You don't catch up.
You don't have to read anything about anyone.
Well, if only to search for releases.
Understand, dude, these are icons, and you climb behind the icon to see how it is made.
What do you care - how?
Inserts?
Listen!
Build worlds in your head.
Fly away.
Open the package and you won't be disappointed.
Well, that's how the army will correct you.
There you will have Shake, Rattle and Roll.
Now you don’t understand everything.”
And I still didn't understand.
In 1987 he was drafted to the Far East, in 1989, having retired from the ranks, he returned, again with that friend of mine (now no longer a fellow student) we met and went to the dumplings at Borovitskaya: double with vinegar and oil and sour cream in a glass too , all that.
And he asked me: “How is it?
Still want to study the topic?
What kept you in the red banner on the water?
Kolis already.
And I answered: “Listen ... I had several coils, they sent them from home, so I“ jammed ”the people in Lenin’s room - they went nuts, but they listened.
Rock 'n' roll, stuff like that.
In short, you don't really need to know shit.
Only the sound - and immediately go to nirvana.
And he admonished me like this (three years older, in those days blessed, an abyss): “Don’t read anything about them at all, dude.
Especially about Elvis.
Especially about everyone.
And about Tsoi, too.
The house is standing, the light is on,
From the window you can see the distance.
So where did the sadness come from?
And it seems to be alive and well,
And it seems to live - do not grieve,
So where did the sadness come from?
We went fishing with my best friend Ilyukha in '93.
That's when the car was "Kino".
It was then that for the first time I understood, considered the meanings: that sadness that comes from nowhere - it always lived in you ...
In each of the days you know - one day you have to leave.
The house will remain standing, the Bratsk hydroelectric power station will continue to give light, new items will be caught in bookstores, someone will grab the first edition of RCA Victor of 1956 in a zero envelope from their hands - you just won’t be there.
And a package of milk, a Krakow knuckle, a sliced loaf with a crust will cease to be commonplace, will become transcendent, you will dissolve and you will be “seemingly alive and well ...” - not here.
You can’t draw something like that, you can’t hammer it into a tablet - against the backdrop of an even day, a languid evening suddenly covers you with a wave: there is not enough air, and there is nothing to inhale from.
Tears in the eyes, the soul turns inside out.
What is it?.. Why?
To feel life more sharply, recognizing the complete impossibility of understanding who we are, what is ahead, there, beyond the end of planet Earth?
How would we already go into space, as in science fiction books.
Only in space you can't run away from yourself...
Tsoi does not give, he never gave me the opportunity to be in static, to remain motionless - if he sings, I have to go, go.
I will stand - I will be torn apart.
Into parts.
Why is this? .. I do not reach for the icon.
I go and go, just wound up.
And grace is around - not a damn thing to see,
And all around beauty - not a damn thing to see,
And everyone shouts: "Hurrah!",
And everyone runs forward
And over it all, a new day rises...
Such a time was hell - Tsoi set off on the eve of it, without waiting for the collapse of the facade, the collapse of structures.
But he knew that this is how it would all happen: "Not a damn thing to see"...
Not to see a line beyond which the abyss.
Not a damn thing - we ourselves, sometimes, are worse than devils doing everything ...
Here I heard my friend and former classmate for real: what's the matter with you, dude, the one who sings in your ears drank red or white - you listen to the meanings, catch moods, build worlds, feel ownership.
What about the one with whom and from what dishes he drank - the one that catches you on the spot, you don’t see traffic lights, every second you risk out of line to paradise.
What about the one whom he embraced, whom he sent in the direction of the well-known, whom he crossed the road and who crossed the road for him, whom he cursed and reproached, whom he idolized ...
So what if he's just alive or just lived.
Was a man.
He suffered and rejoiced to the point of complete brutality, to the gnashing of teeth.
On the asphalt of show business.
I sit and look at someone else's sky from someone else's window
And I don't see a single familiar star.
I've walked all the roads to and fro,
I turned around and couldn't see the footprints...
And here's another thing: don't even think about wanting to change places with him - not only traces, you will never find yourself.
And so be it.
To be inappropriate...
God releases life.
Its fullness.
Its inevitability.
You can move your hand behind the TV, a poster on the wall, but you can’t get there, into the wrong side of someone else’s life.
Either the current will crack, or you will run into a nail with your hand.
That's why I bought the album and listen...
We live in a fictional world.
We came up with a lot of things, for example love.
We twist it into candy wrappers, glue bows to it, suffocate it with perfume, nail it with verses... Does it get prettier from that?
Yes, it looks like it doesn't.
As love was love, so it remains.
Lucky - there is.
No luck - take care of your garden.
Heavenly apples for the nourishment of earthly souls...
I know almost nothing about Viktor Tsoi - and this helps me a lot.
Go to gallery page
I listen - and I hear: yes, one day I will have to leave.
Yes, there will be no U-turn and restructuring of the route.
Yes - but also no.
After all, if now, right now, there is a “pack of cigarettes” in your pocket ...
He left on the road.
Maybe he himself became the road - there.
By which we...
On all other days he is alive for me.
And very calmly explains in each of the songs of "Kino": "Just listen, dude.
Understand?
Just listen!"
I'm listening to.
And I'm writing a column, more and more about dinosaur music.
About those who are on the posters on our wall.
And I clearly understand: "Many knowledge - many sorrows."
But if you have a pack of cigarettes in your pocket,
So it's not all that bad these days.
And a plane ticket with a silver wing
That, taking off, leaves only a shadow to the earth ...
The point of view of the author may not coincide with the position of the editors.